Is it worth telling my male best friend that it's getting too hard to be friends with him, because I have feelings for him? Or should I stay friends?

[Bethany22]

Staying friends with him means I get to meet more men through him, as he's pretty social. But also, each time we interact alone together, it's both nice as well as self-esteem wrecking because he seems to never develop stronger feelings for me each time we have these alone moments.

[caring__1]

You will continue to be in turmoil until you see things through his eyes. Let him know you're curious to know his thoughts and feelings about relationships, as you find it helpful to more clearly see how relationships fit into your life when you see how they fit into the lives of others. What draws him in, and what pushes him away? Does he ever see himself in a long-term relationship, and how will he know the time and person are right for him? Ask him to describe his ideal partner. Ask him to think about the person he felt closest to in his life, and then ask him what made that special to him.

Once you have a clear picture of how he sees relationships (rather than just focus on what you'd like to see), it will be easier to determine if you truly fit into his future. Since you care so much about him, you'll want to see him happy, even if that means with someone else. By having a clear picture of his ideal, you'll find it easier to focus on whether you fit what he is seeking and what will truly work for you. Then you might even introduce him to his forever partner... and still stay good friends forever.

[Bethany22]

That's really helpful

[caring__1]

Glad to be of help.

[AviatorTom]

Tell him how you feel about him. And see how he reacts. From that, you'll know what to do.

How you tell him is important. Please don't tell him "it's hard" being friends. Tell him what you'd like it to be. Take the positive approach, avoid any negatives.

[AviatorTom]

Thanks for MHO

[DJB72]

Talking to him is unlikely to damage the friendship. Long term, not saying anything will probably make you lose him completely.

Guys are simple creatures. Be honest with us and we tend to respond. The fact he spends time just the two of you suggests he may share your feelings, but he probably thinks he's in the "friend zone" so doesn't want to risk saying something that makes you uncomfortable.

Good luck

[HollyK21]

Your mental health should be top priority, not finding a man through him. If it’s become too hard being his friend then the best thing to do is distance yourself so you can get over your feelings. Maybe one day you can be friends again without feeling how you do but you have to actually help yourself get to that point.

[exitseven]

We have so few real friends in this life so you will regret throwing one away. Maybe tell him how you feel. It doesn't have to be weird.

[Bethany22]

You're right, it's hard to find friends

[exitseven]

I had a female friend who was really my best friend for a few years. One night she told me that she wanted it to be something more. I had a girlfriend at the time and I told her that. It was not weird and truthfully it gave me something to think about.

[Anonymous]

Only you can answer this. Only you know if you can remain friends. It's been my experience that I can be friends with most women. Buy they can't be friends with me afterwards as typically they still want all the beneficial parts of a romantic relationship. But life doesn't work that way.

[IslaTheWitch]

I think it depends on how you feel. What you described gives the impression that it's difficult for you. However, can you avoid him? Don't you have common friends, places, and events? Can you eliminate all meeting situations?

[HouseMoat]

Proving that guys and girls really can't be "just friends"

THIS PROVES IT RIGHT HERE

And, you can, but you risk the friendship

[glennos89]

Just let him know. Maybe he feels the same way about it and are you both hesitating to progress

[Anonymous]

Decide to either pull the trigger or don't, you get the benefit of resolution.

If they're your friend, if you're their friend, then you should be able to acknowledge your feelings and decide to either pursue them or set them aside and continue your friendship.

Momma always tells me to marry my best friend.

[FunkyMonkee]

Experiment. Next time you're with him, throw yourself at him and see if he responds the way you want. Maybe he's got a thing for you but has some reason he's holding back and, if you show him he doesn't need to, he might play patty cake!

[devilish-cutie]

I would shoot my shot, itsfake to pretend to just see him as a friend

[Bricealan]

Correct!!!

[Amuere]

Go for it, or you'll regret not getting it off your chest later on. Regardless of the outcome, it's worth it to be honest with yourself and your friend.

[RedInnocent68]

No. Grow up or drift away, but don’t burden him with your problem. Why is he so inappropriate/unattainable anyway?

[nawtee_me]

You need to talk to him about it. Let him know how you feel, it is the only way the two of you can move on to the next thing, whatever that is.

[Drumlin2001]

Have you tried being honest with him about how you feel?

[RealMarek]

Have you ever told him you have feelings for him?

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Tell him how you feel about him.

[JacobJordan]

tell him you have feelings and would like to be romantic with him.

[Shy_Steve]

No, Not really.

It's better to just to try and focus on your love life than your Friends.

[boobliker]

yes, i think you should who knows he may be thinking the same

[Twalli]

He might have the same feelings for you and is equally hiding them.

[stratford]

Is he in a relationship at the moment?

[ThrillSeeker01]

Maybe confess your feelings?

[Jerre]

Stay friends with him.

[krin_m]

Talk to him honestly about it.

[Anonymous]

friends with benefits will be best option