Considering Ending the Friendship with my Best Guy Friend Because I Have Feelings For Him.

[JustWondering36]

Would it be wrong for me to do this? Personally, given the fact that we have been friends for eight years and are pretty close, my first thought would be that it is. But then again, given that I have had feelings for him for six of the eight years, I find it emotionally painful to be around him at times and I think it would be best for me to just cut off contact from him. Now after reading this you are probably thinking, "Oh great, another girl who is afraid to admit her feelings and is resorting to a drastic measure in order to deal with her issues." So I feel the need to say that yes, I have told him I have feelings for him at the four-year mark of our friendship. In response to this he was calm and welcoming (and surprised), but he never told me how he felt toward me so I assumed he saw us as just friends. Our friendship didn't even "flinch," so to speak, because I confessed my attraction to him. I thought it would be a matter of time before I got over him. Little did I know, four years later the feelings would still be there.

So I am curious to hear your opinions: would it be wrong for me to end our friendship?

(any thoughts on the matter are welcome. Thanks!)

[Atth000]

The honest truth and reality of the future. Staying friends with feeling will eventually hurt someone in the end. Picture this, what if he was dating someone eles? Would you be comfortable being around? If you are okay, thats great. True friendship. If your not, that's feeling lingering. Guys are aware of situations, they just don't want to invest the commitment of risking to lose the attention to boost their egos from you emotionally investing on them. But because your giving the sweets why not take and recieve free love. Its good you clarify your feelings and confronted him. a lot of courage and its mature way to set priority straight. Im sure you have a busy life but just lost on how to cope with such relationship. Yes 8 years is long. But think about the road ahead when he is still indecisive about you. That Waste more time and emotional stress. You guys need to be on the same page. Don't be the one always giving. Love is also about receiving. If he really cared about your feelings he would have told you straight up. It takes two to tangle. Feelings doesn't come from one end. Obviously this requires more mature thinking levels on male side. The fact he wants to be your friend is just to not make things weird. You can still be friends but, up to some stage in life. You will find someone who have mutual feelings as you and you will move on. Close guy friends can influence that relationship and jeopardy it. This is all about the choice in life. In the end no one judges you upon your decision. Just be happy. Life is short, enjoy the moment.

[timewarper]

It's a good idea. I wonder if he'll fight for your friendship?

Look, if you can't handle being around him anymore and

it's time to move on. Good for you

You might also find someone else who will reciprocate it

[OpenClose]

Would it be wrong? I wouldn't say "Wrong" per se. You don't HAVE to be friends with anyone. There's no contract.

I don't know how YOU feel about this, but I know a lot of women are furious when a guy hangs out with a girl because he is interested, and then leaves once he realizes the interest isn't mutual. "What, friendship isn't enough for you? You were only nice because you thought you could date me?"

So you could either stop hanging out with him, and leave with an understanding of the other side; or you can try to put the romantic feelings aside and try to salvage the friendship, despite the difficulty, especially if he starts dating someone even though he wouldn't date you.

It's really up to you. Hopefully he can understand the difficulty of being so-called "friend-zoned" in either scenario.

I've been on both sides of this and reacted both ways. Turned down a friend who liked me, was turned down by a friend I liked, left a friendship because of my feelings, and lost a friendship because of their feelings.

All I can tell you is that it really depends on the person. Some friendships I was probably better without, and for others, we are still friends. When I say it's up to you, then, I really mean it.

[Modernhippy]

Just talk to him. If you were planning on cutting him off anyways you have nothing to lose

[JustWondering36]

I would be losing a great friend and that is why I was able to continue and supress my feelings for him for this long. But I am unsure if this is the right thing to do; I am unsure if it is worth losing such a fantastic guy for the sake of my "emotional well-being" (and I use this term loosely for my fondness for him is not as severe as the phrase makes it seem). My hope would be for this feeling to go away, but I have no idea when that will happen.