Please answer all three questions and give great detail. So what do you think?

[Anonymous]

I have 2 questions. Q.1 Don’t you have to be in love with someone first before you decide you want to marry someone? Q.2 What do you think of man who jokingly calls a woman his wife? Q.3 what does it mean to care about someone intensely?

[Oliverlogan263]

Alright dude, here are my thoughts and answers on those questions:

Q1. I think you definitely have to feel really strongly about someone before deciding to get married. Like marriage is a huge commitment, you know? You gotta be sure you're in love with that person and see them as a lifelong partner. Just dating someone for a while isn't enough I don't think. You need that deep connection where you can't picture your future without them type of feeling.

Q2. When a guy jokingly calls a girl his wife, it kinda depends on the situation. If it's more of a friendly teasing thing between friends, that's usually all good. But like if he's just met this chick, that could be weird and weird her out, ya know? I'd say it's all about reading the vibe. If she seems cool with it and is playing along, then it's probably just playful banter. But you wanna make sure she's comfortable.

Q3. Caring about someone intensely means they really mean a lot to you. Like you genuinely care about their happiness, you want to be there for them and support them, you think about them all the time. You want the best for that person and your feelings for them are really strong. When you care that much about someone it's hard to imagine not having them in your life. There's a deep emotional investment in that person beyond just surface level care, it's very real feelings they bring out in you.

Hope this helps give you some perspectives for you!

[Asker]

It does thank you.

[Oliverlogan263]

You’re very welcome

[DaveJord]

Q1- Due you a have to be... no you do not. But seriously how often does that happen? there are very few reasons as to why you would want to marry someone other than for love. And for those reasons as to why you want to marry without love... 99% of them are all bad reasons. Except for some very few exceptions. I was in the military for 22 years. In military single people have to live in the barracks, and if they do not, they have to pay for it finically. Whereas if they get married, they are authorized a housing allotment, and that can be an extra 1000 or more per month. SO yes, I know single people that got married just to get the money and move out of the barracks. Had an open relationship, and then filed for a uncontested divorce, and it only cost them less than 100 bucks to end the marriage.

Q2- I call him a coward, or childish at the least... if it's on his mind then approach her like a mature adult.

Q3- Care about someone intensely... look you either care about her or you love her. Like I care about you intensely, could easily men the sex is really good, like to care about me or what I do for you intensely. Because if you care intensely we are talking about love or are we talking about something else. Look guys, girls see this bullshit, and they get all inside their heads about it. So don't mince words, be direct and honest and if she gets all twisted up over that... then you did yourself a favor in the long run.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for this anime thing I do have to correct you on is no we don’t have sex me and him are just friends.

[Asker]

Responding to your answer on Q.2 he just got out of bad relationship and he’s still in love with her so I don't know If he wants to do that.

[DaveJord]

Oh, well then. If you are not dating... then intensely caring for someone is the appropriate response. If he is not seeking a relationship with you... then that means he may just value the friendship more than wanting a relationship.

You yeah, if he is not over the ex-girlfriend or whatever... don't get involve with the relationship thing... give him some time and space and be supportive and see where it goes. But if he starts dating or hooking up with other women... you're just a freind he cares intensely for.

But if he starts with another women... then I would assume that your friendship will become less valuable to him... and if you are catching feelings for him... then I would just say I can not do this until you are ready to date again. And if that is something you do not want to do with me... then you need space to short that out before continuing with the friendship.

[Asker]

Okay so I actually have feelings for him, I love and care about him deeply. He isn’t dating anyone right now. But he says he does have feelings for me. But okay.

[Asker]

Also why would joke and call me his wife?

[DaveJord]

So wife jokes... for men its like a joke. This is my work wife, gym wife,... because if women are willing to admit it, acknowledge or even see it for themselves... they act like our bosses sometimes. Like they expect men to do things and when we don't do it right... there's consequences for it. But she's my wife; so I am allowing it and love her for it.

So he cares about you in friend way. But you've been friend zoned. Most the time it's women doing it to men. But most men figure out the frirnd zone trap and avoid it at all costs by their mid to late 20s.

By doing what I already said. The second the women says I just want to be friends... tell them straight out you want more than that, but if that's not what she wants... then you can't do this, and you need to get some space.

But he did just go through a break up, so maybe your bring too pushy... like a friend wife. Because wife's are pushy.

[SolsticeSnow]

1. Yes. Unless it's an arranged marriage or marriage of convenience. Or they're a psychopath or similar who wants to marry you in order to take from you.

2. I'd think they were a close guy friend I'd known many years. Or someone who fancied me and was kinda creepy about it. Or someone who was trying to say 'back off she is mine' to whomever he is calling you his wife too.

3. Depends who say it. Beware of love bombers who spout shit like this a lot. I'm sure stalkers do too. Love... isn't really... intensity. Nor is caring about someone. Intensly... is more like infatuation, obsession, potentially possessiveness. Depending on contect it could be a red flag.

[Asker]

Responding to your
Answer to my second question the guy that said to me is friend but he has feelings for me and he was calling me that to my face. But thank you for the detailed answer.

[SolsticeSnow]

Hmm.. I'd just be careful he isn't getting possessive of you.

[Asker]

Okay.

[Anonymous]

1. I say yes. But I get blasted everytime I say it so I I typically don't respond to this question. I think it comes down to your viewpoint on being married. When someone's goal is to get married (typically women), they'll talk about marriage even before they're dating a potential future husband. I've always felt that is so "cart before the horse". How can you even talk about marriage if you're not even en in love. That's my attitude.

2. I don't like it. I think it's insulting the institution of marriage. Marriage is something you EARN. First the trust and love of someone to marry you. Then you have to keep earning g it EVERY DAM DAY! I don't like the term common law marriage either. I know it exist. But it's NOT a marriage.

3. This one I don't know that I can answer. Because it's going to be different for every couple. This is why I think people need to be VERY careful when dispensing marriage advice. Because just because you're married does 't mean you understand THAT COUPLES dynamic. Every couple is different.

[Asker]

Okay what if the guy has feelings for you and he jokingly calls you his wife?

[Opinion Owner]

I already said I don't like it. Only because most of the guys who I've heard SAY IT, didn't mean it. I'm not saying that's all guys. But say it with your ACTIONS not your mouth. Anyone can ACT intensely interested for 10 minutes or a week or a couple months or whatever. Few can sustain it for decades. And typically if they talk about it, that's all they are is talk.

[MrCharlie13]

2 or 3? Lol... 1) Not if your marriage is arranged or you marry out of convenience 2) he's joking, nothing else. 3) still figuring that one out