Are you kinder to women you find attractive?

[Anonymous]

As a teenager I was well aware that I wasn’t considered attractive to guys. I wasn’t obese but I was chubby, I had thick eyebrows and I suffered with acne. Next to my friend who was and still is incredibly beautiful, I felt hideous. And guys weren’t afraid to let me know that either. Guys my age and older than me. They wouldn’t give me a second glance, never held eye contact with me, only ever approached me so they could talk to my friend, never spoke to me, some made hurtful comments about my appearance and I guess since then I had been conditioned to think I wasn’t attractive and male attention would only be negative attention. The last few years that changed, I started learning to love myself and look after myself. I fell in love with working out, started eating healthier and treating myself kinder, I developed a skincare and hair care routine. And I guess I grew into my appearance. And I notice that the way guys treat me now is insanely different. They talk to me for no reason other than just to talk to me, they’ll hold eye contact with me and I notice them staring at me, they’ll hold doors open for me or there’s a space only one person can fit through at a time, they’ll let me go first, I notice more smiles from them, more compliments. One guy randomly came up to me whilst I was with my friends, kissed my hand and called me beautiful. It’s all so foreign to me as someone who grew up constantly being bullied by guys for my looks. My question is for you guys, do you notice yourself being kinder to girls you find attractive VS girls you don’t find attractive? Maybe it’s a subconscious thing?

This is a no judge zone by the way. I’m just genuinely curious.

[aceleon]

no, i personally tend to be more of a douche than i already am, since i either want her to understand that i'm not her friend in order to stay as a man not friendzone, or i fear i might catch up feelings if we get too close so in both scenario i act more like a dick than i am to most people in general.

[Meropatrick]

Actually i have seen it that guys can be more cruel to women who r attractive. They r indifferent towards ugly women. But activley mean towards a hot girl. Some guys dont know how to deal with their lust and the power a good looking girl have on them. They precieve it as if the girl is attacking them with her beauty and they act spiteful and bitchy. Like how some women can't help but acting catty towards a rival.

[SotiCoto]

Maybe in the past, if I wanted something from them.

But now I don't want anything from anyone, so I treat them all as I would a slug, regardless of what they look like.

[RedInnocent68]

I would like to think that I’m kind to all women. All people, actually. But yeah, I’m probably a bit nicer to the attractive ones. Pretty privilege is real.

[Sonorous]

Yeah, I'd say I am. But I'm not meaner to women I'm not attracted to. I'm civil with them.

[Nifrayu]

Yes. There's an obvious correlation. If someone is disrespectful or otherwise toxic, I will be less interested in being nice to them and I won't find them attractive.

[boggboss]

Nope how I treated people wasn't based on their looks

[Joshydavid25]

Nah, I treat everybody the same since I always knew how it felt to be somewhat "invisible"..

[Anonymous]

No. But my guess is you'd see that either way with your clear bias. You think men are the only gender that can be unkind with their words or thier treatment?

[Asker]

Of course not. I know that women can be complete bitches but I’m just talking from my own experiences when it comes to being seen as attractive to the opposite gender. Plus I’m not into women.

[Opinion Owner]

But that's my point. You've created your condition. You've convinced yourself that if a guy is being nice to you it's only because he's attracted (which does happen by the way. To BOTH genders. It's just not the norm).
I've always been tall. I was raised to believe women like tall guys. My experience has always been anything but. I've taken enough rejection in my life that I despise women that say anything about my height. That tell me they like tall guys. I'm not ashamed of my height I'm turned off by their judgement of it. I pretty much convinced at this point I'll never be able to trust a woman to the point of having a normal relationship. So believe me I understand.

[Asker]

It’s just an observation that I’ve noticed growing up and being considered unattractive throughout my teenage years and attracting negative attention from guys and then losing weight and changing up my appearance brought me more positive attention. I’m not saying that is definitely the case which is why I’m asking if it’s something guys notice in their behaviour. I’m not trying to create some gender battle because both genders can be assholes I’m aware.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh I wasn't saying your trying to create a gender battle that wasn't even my intent to suggest that. I'm saying your past permeates your ability to trust men's motives. As my past permeates my ability to trust women's. But we don't need to talk about this. I was just trying to give you an in depth reason.
To answer you question. Yes, Guys are kinder to women who are more attractive. As women are kinder to men who are more attractive. Unless the have reason not to be. Also it's not a huge difference. Just because someone opens the door for you doesn't mean it goes ANY FURTHER than there. There's actually a bit that comedian Jim Gaffigan does on pretty privilege.

[Danny_dan92]

I treat everyone how I want to be treated, until they fuck with me. And then they see my other side

[Anonymous]

Im nicer to my self...
Im rude n asshole to others 😂

[Yannae]

No, but I am nicer to people who don't smell.

[Asker]

Fair enough 😂