I need advice is he flaking or serious?

[Anonymous]

We made plans to see each other he’s introverted it’s the flu season he works as a back of the house cook, so maybe he caught something… but he’s done this where we plan to see other and when the day comes he drops the ball or flakes and takes a while to confirm or let me know what’s going on.
He told me though he’s genuinely sick that’s akin to a flu and he said sorry for letting you down I don’t know what to say or do.

any advice on what to say or what he means, has anyone been through this.

and for guys have you done this when you’re really sick I don't know is it honest have you ever lied to a girl about a flu or a sickness?

[Oliverlogan263]

It's hard to say for sure what's up with this guy. On the one hand, working in a kitchen he probably does get sick easier than most. And flu season is no joke, I've definitely had to bail on plans before when feeling miserable.

But the flakiness before when you've made other plans is a bit of a red flag too. Could be he's just disorganized or has trouble committing sometimes. Or it's possible he's lost interest but doesn't want to say it directly. Hard to tell without really knowing him.

If it were me, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt this time since he said he's sick. But I'd also pay attention to see if he follows up when he's feeling better and actually tries to reschedule. If he just disappears again without effort, then I'd say he's probably not that serious.

But texting him something like "Feel better soon, hope you kick that flu. Let me know when you're up for hanging out again." puts the ball in his court without coming on too strong. That way you're being understanding if he is sick, but also not waiting around if he's not that into it. Make sense? Tough situation - good luck figuring it out!

[Asker]

I don’t know if you’d also suggest me bring at least soup to him his place his by my job and I’d be wearing a mask

[Oliverlogan263]

I don't know, showing up unannounced with soup when he's supposedly sick could come across as a little much. Even with good intentions. As an introvert myself, when I'm under the weather the last thing I want is an unexpected visitor.

Maybe play it cool and just text asking how he's feeling. If he says he's still not up for company, believe him. But you could offer to drop off the soup on your way by so he has it for later when feeling better. That way the choice is up to him and he doesn't feel pressured.

I'd say give it another day or two of checking in from a distance before making any moves over to his place. The concern is nice, but nobody wants to feel smothered when they're sickly. Play it slow, let him rest up, then see if he's down to hang once feeling more himself. Your soup will be there whenever he's ready!

[Avicenna]

Most people doing that are flaking

[Asker]

I sent a text at 1 am this morning asking for clarity about our day I then restricted him to not annoy him cause I get anxious and opened his text to see if he responded and he said are you up I’m so sorry and at 7:34am he said he’s sorry and he isn’t feeling good today.

[Avicenna]

Well, guys do sometimes flake like that, but that doesn't mean he is. What is your gut feeling?

[Asker]

Like my gut knows it’s flu season I never catch sickness I have a very strong immune system and my mom and sister caught some type of flu/bug.
But I don't know cause he’s done this before but he’ll say I wanna be alone that day and has an introverted day he hates going out and goes to work and plays video games.

[Avicenna]

If you like him, give him another chance, I guess

[Asker]

Is it safe to try bringing him soup with a mask on

[Avicenna]

Maybe