Do you think I should forget about this guy?

[Anonymous]

Have a crush very distracted by it.

Met him at an event.

The million dollar question, if he likes me why wouldn’t he be pursuing me or trying to find a way to contact me.

the obvious answer: because he may like me a little bit, just not to that extent and maybe I think if he gets to know me etc he might like me more.

why don’t I think the other way around that maybe he may never like me that much no matter how much he gets to know me because the interest is just not there.

Your thoughts?

[Anonymous]

So because you lack the courage to approach him yourself you’d rather forget him all together? Sounds avoidant. Then for you to lament on this whole ‘if he likes me wouldn’t he approach” is a waste of time and an unfair standard to place on the man because you don’t even know if he likes you. Sure we could sit around theorizing as to if he has feelings or what can be going on in his life to make him not approach If he did like you, but those same assumptions could be said for you as well and be entirely wrong. We just don’t know and I think you’d like an actual answer rather than make decisions based off invalid talking points.

[Asker]

You know when I was growing up, I was surrounded by shitty people (not all of course).

Because of this, I don't think I really ever understood healthy connections. Like how a good guy who is sincere and genuinely likes you, how would he act.

Now as a full grown adult, I still don't really understand these things, I always believe no one can ever like me etc it's like I'm still the same person I was all those years ago in some ways

[Opinion Owner]

I think we all experienced some trauma and negativity growing up, some worse than others but all we can do is learn and evolve going forward. That can include doing the work to correct that very toxic mindset of ‘no one can ever like me’, I think it’s time you give your self esteem a break. As for how a good man would act, it has nothing to do with his interest or availability at the time. Like is he less good if he’s dating someone or just getting out of a bad relationship and wants to be single, hence why he isn’t making a move on you? Or if he’s shy and afraid of rejection? We just don’t know what’s happening on his end and there’s not enough to measure his goodness. This is more about courage and being brave enough to tell a man you’re interested, or at least get the ball rolling.

[Asker]

I think what I fear happening and I was reading about this online is sometimes we project on to other people what we want from life as opposed to taking into consideration who they are and also the fact that maybe they don’t feel the same way.

[Opinion Owner]

I think that would apply if you were trying to wrangle him into a relationship despite knowing where he stands either emotionally or in life. It would apply if you knew of his unavailability and treated it like an obstacle course to surpass rather than truly acknowledging that he can’t be with you right now. At this point in time none of that is the case, you don’t even know if the guy likes you. I think your fear, plainly put, is of rejection.

[HateyouxD]

Yes do what I did and walk away. Es only bread crumbing

[Tharithi]

He’s the guy , he needs to grow balls and propose

[Asker]

Maybe he doesn't care.

[Tharithi]

Exactly. Sorry girl but these kind of randwas love going bringing innocent girls

[Asker]

What is a randwa

[Tharithi]

Whore

[spartan55]

What have you done to show interest?