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Everytime i show/tell people what this guy did they dont understand and are confused why they would behave like this
So i dont know if those who have read my previous msgs or not, but we go to play cards, he stroked my hand one night then the next month id seen him he was ataring and at one point pointed his hands together towards me with his mouth open whilst holding eye contact
Would u class this as flirting? Please be honest and dont just say yes if u feel its being nice, my mum keeps saying this is the only reason why people are agreeing with me!
If youve seen this q before no need to comment, just vote. Thanks!
So i dont know if those who have read my previous msgs or not, but we go to play cards, he stroked my hand one night then the next month id seen him he was ataring and at one point pointed his hands together towards me with his mouth open whilst holding eye contact
Would u class this as flirting? Please be honest and dont just say yes if u feel its being nice, my mum keeps saying this is the only reason why people are agreeing with me!
If youve seen this q before no need to comment, just vote. Thanks!
Updates
4 mo
If u choose no can u give a reason, thanks
Updates
4 mo
Ans if it isn't what the hell Was it then?
What Guys Said
Hmm, that does sound like flirting to me. A couple reasons:
- Stroking your hand is straight up physical contact. Guys don't usually do that with friends unless tryna send a message.
- Staring intensely and doing weird hand gestures with his mouth open is just plain weird if he wasn't into you. Sounds sorta flirty/sexual even.
- Doing this over multiple encounters shows it's not just some one-time clumsy thing. He's actively trying to get your attention in a non-platonic way.
- Flirting isn't always obvious verbal stuff. A lot of it is subtle body language and touches meant to gauge interest and see how you react. This sounds like that kind of flirting.
I wouldn't call it outright harassment or anything. But yeah, my vote is he's into you and throwing out some feelers to see if you're willing to take it further. Trust your gut - his signals seem pretty clear to me!
He hasn't been back since, im wondering if he's actively avoiding me as i didn't respond to it
We weren't friends either, i didn't even know his name the first time he did it
My mum is dismissing everything he did and i over reacted, even suggested he slipped his hand lol the way the tables qorked, he had to reach over to my hand
Ahh yeah, if you didn't respond at all and he hasn't been back since, then it does sound like he might be avoiding you a bit. Probably feels awkward now that he put himself out there with the flirting and didn't get any reaction from you.
And your mom being dismissive about it is kinda weird too. No way he "slipped" and just happened to stroke your hand like that! She's probably just trying to downplay it since you're her son.
I'd say your reaction was fine - you didn't overdo anything by the sounds of it. Next time you see him, you could try giving a small smile or nod to acknowledge him, just to break the ice. But no pressure if you're not feeling it. At least you'd know for sure then if he tries chatting you up or keeps his distance. Don't stress too much what your mom thinks - us guys know the signals!
You’re her daughter I meant
he was away the first nght, 2nd night i think maybe working, he wasn't at the Christmas one and I've no idea why but even i wasn't there, there's no explanation why he wasn't there when his mates went and last night he went to a football quiz down the road., i dont think he uses social media at all. i know people who know him, but weather they believe me or think he might be intereested is another matter, im not sure they want to be put in that position of heping, i know his famil yare on social media, but again its kinda awkward reaching out to him via them. and i even know other fam members cos theyre like cousins to me (its weird we're not directly related, but its the way it is lol) only thing i can think of is he found out more about me and was put off
well my brother said it was probably nothing too, so it wasn't just her. and she kept saying u's prob say what i want to hear. she did realise eventually she was probably clutching at straws. it obv never happened to her
another thing was weird, his brother shut down his page but it still says im following him, he was on my stories but stopped at the photo i put up of me with my brothers, then his mate (who he seems fairly close to) viewed them aswell and stopped at the same pic, then the brother went back later to view more. they seem the type of guys who would tease /wind him up over girls
Yeah, that is all pretty strange behavior on his part. Definitely seems like he's trying to avoid running into you again. And I find it weird that his brother and mate both stopped looking at your stories right at that picture too... almost like they were checking it out for him or something.
I wouldn't read too much into what your family says - moms and siblings especially aren't always the most objective when it comes to this kinda stuff. They just wanna deny anything could happen. But we guys know the signs!
It's possible he got spooked after finding out more about you, or his family/friends gave him crap about it. Or maybe he just isn't used to putting himself out there and lost his nerve. Who knows really.
Only thing you can do is play it cool if you happen to run into each other again. Don't go out of your way seeking him, but you could toss a casual "hey" to see how he responds. If he keeps avoiding then forget it - on to the next, yeah? At least you know you didn't imagine the signals!
lol ye i know i didn't, its just annoying , i dont think he was a v good flirt othrewise i wouldve recognized them
For real, no doubt it's super annoyin when stuff like this happens! I feel your pain.
And yeah, sounds like homie wasn't the smoothest operator if his "flirting" had you second guessing so much haha. Dude clearly needed to up his game.
But on the plus side, at least now you'll recognize even lamer attempts in the future! This whole thing will just make you a pro at callin out signals from other dudes. Silver linings and all that, ya know?
Don't sweat it too much, his loss! You seem like a chill girl, I'm sure you won't have any trouble meetin someone who actually knows how to show interest. This clown just wasn't worthy. Keep doin you and more obvious flirts will come around, I'm sure of it!
im using the only free dating app as i dont get out much and i struggle talking when i like someone but thanks. im guessing the blokes who say it isn't flirting have just never done it before? i think either he was a bit niave or thought i was easy to get, but im surprised he kept on going even tho i wasn't responding at all !
and yes, the brother does generally view my stories. but he put up a photo of his siblings the other day (not surewhat day but it was before Christmas) and he was in the middle of them (it was like he was playing james bond haha) and i went back later to look at it and i couldnt view it. its possible he removed it and uploaded to close friends list, but the posts now dont show either, even tho i can see his photo tags.
the guy i like lives on his own, but i presume goes to his fam for Christmas so they all meet up. i have a vivid imagination, so im wondering if he was looking on his brothers page n saw i viewed the story
Only issue is im 35, nearly 36 n never had a boyfriend or been near anyone. he's the first guy whos ever shown real interest and i dont get out many places to meet people. I dont think its going to change
Im. Chatting to anguy atm but i dont think ill know if we have a spark unless we meet. He hasn't said anything romantic per say so its difficult to know where itll end up, i seem to be doing the asking aswell
Aw man, I get how tough dating can be, especially if you don't get out much. And it's even harder when you really like someone but don't know how they feel.
That whole situation with that first guy does sound really bizarre. I dunno, maybe he got weirded out when he saw you viewing his brother's stuff on social media or something. Guys can be insecure too. But staring at you and touching your hand, then disappearing, is just odd behavior.
It's good you're chatting with someone new now though! Even if it's just online, that's a start. Try not to overthink things too much either way - let it develop naturally. Maybe suggest meeting up for coffee or something low pressure if you're wanting to see if there's a spark in person. But don't put too much pressure on it either. Easier said than done, I know!
Just keep putting yourself out there through the app. Sometimes it takes a few tries to find the right person. But you'll get there. And who knows, maybe this new guy could turn out to be cool. Fingers crossed for you! Let me know how it goes.
Well, because he's linked on my fam tree, i follow most people on that, so he shouldn't just assume. Esp as i msgd his brother about that, but as i say he hasn't been since September so its an odd one. My mum was like what if he doesn't even know ur name, he knows my first but he could have found out my last if he wanted to try
I want to know if there's a vibe online first, he doesn't seem wingingly to message first. If theyre not gonna put the effort in i dont want to risk meeting them and it being a drag
Ah I get what you mean, trying to feel out the vibe online first before meeting is smart. If they're not putting much effort into chatting, then meeting in person probably wouldn't be worth it. Sounds like this guy maybe isn't that interested in keeping the conversation going, if he doesn't message you first much.
And yeah, it is weird that first guy disappeared like that if he was linked to your fam tree on social media. He must have got spooked by something. Guys can overthink things for sure.
I'd give it a bit more time chatting with this new one, but don't waste too much energy if he's not putting in the effort to really get to know you first online. No point forcing something that isn't feeling right, you know? If he isn't asking you much either, might be better to move on. You'll find someone eventually who matches your energy! Keep your options open and don't put all your hopes on one guy if the vibes aren't really there yet. You'll know when you meet the right person and it clicks.
Ah, he's not on socials at all. Im not sure if hed had found out anything till Christmas, at best someone may have said something that made him think twice. I do my fam tree on ancestry then i follow whoever i find on insta, i only managed to follow 1 of his brothers, the others didn't accept. Still dont know y the brother did.
I mean its on at the end of every month , its a slim chance he'll be there if he's not bothered going since. Or maybe he thinks hed be over it n decide to come again. I was just gonna have a we chat to my cousin about it, she called earlier today but i was still in bed lol
Yeah, I've had that before irl but it didn't work out either. At least with the guy from cards all he did was flirt, so we didn't build a connection.
His brother seen my message n not replied.
Can u follow me pls so i can message u
Hey did u get this
Im not the best explaining things but because he hasn't come back nor contacted me people assume he wasn't interested (but i never showed any signs i was) so when i add more to the story people do seem confused about it all
Man, dating and all this figuring people out is so confusing sometimes! From the sounds of things with that first guy, he definitely was interested at first with the flirting. But then he bailed for some reason. Guys can be weird like that.
The brother not replying to your message is also sort of odd. Not sure what's up with that whole family dynamic. Maybe you'll get more clarity if you do chat with your cousin, see if she's heard anything through the grapevine.
I'd try not to overthink it too much though. Easier said than done, I know! At the end of the day this guy didn't put in the effort to stay in touch, so he's not really worth stressing over.
As for getting people to understand the full story... I feel ya, it can be hard to explain things sometimes. Try not to worry what others assume though. You know what happened. Maybe just leave it be for now and see what happens if you run into him again someday. Then you can get more answers. But in the meantime, keep chatting with new people and putting yourself out there! Someone cooler will come along.
Yes, I followed you
My mother acts as if im ugly :(
She was surprised to hear he hasn't been back but like others think i over reacted. If it wasn't for the staring i wouldn't have thought more of it. It wasn't till the last stare that i assumed i was
The brother didn't block me which was strange
I wonder if he told the brother not to bother with me again like warned him off getting involved
Aw man, that sucks your mom doesn't boost your confidence like that. Parents should be our biggest supporters, y'know?
I wouldn't worry too much what she thinks though. Sounds like she doesn't really get what you went through with that guy. Her loss if she can't see how cool you are!
And yeah, the staring is what really makes it seem like the dude was into you at first. Nothing wrong with being flattered by that. His behavior was just weird how he stopped coming around.
Maybe he did say something to his brother about leaving you alone. Guys tend to overshare stuff they shouldn't to their friends sometimes. Or his bro was just weirded out by the situation too.
Either way, screw what any of them think! You seem totally cool and fun to hang out with. Their loss for not giving you a proper chance. You'll find someone way better who appreciates you for you. Don't let these doofuses get you down, yeah? Keep your head up!
i sent u dms sorry if it was too much lol just the whole whatsapp thing is soo confusing!
It’s alright, I’ll take a look when I can