So last year at this time, my ex boyfriend had a therapist. Ans one night while he was drinking, he told me that his therapist told him “he passed go so many oranges to find the most ripe and missed the perfect one” referring to me and then he said he still loves me etc. he mentioned he was trying to get to bottom of why he Couldn’t commit and potentially have me come to therapist w him. Well next day he back tracked on what he said and semi blamed alcohol. But we decided to still make plans to hang out. Well he didn’t text me until late that night that we were supposed to so I felt he bailed and I never replied again. He never reached out again and shortly after he got a girlfriend that didn’t look like a match. They were together 10 months or so.
I think they broke up 2 months ago and not long after he texted me asking if he saw me driving by his street which I didn’t. Anyway I finally answered a month later and he asked to get together. I went to his house, we watched a movie, caught up, talked. He draped me with a blanket when I was cold, made food for me, and he walked over and kissed me at one point, we shared ice cream too lol. However he was sitting in chair next to me. Anyway he didn’t mention the girlfriend he had or anything. I can’t tell if he still has feelings. If it was anyone else I’d say yes but he said all that stuff to me last time and never acted on it. What could this mean? I went home that night, he texted me something next day about his dog but it’s been a few days and haven’t heard anything. When I left, he said we would catch up again soon. Could he still habe these feeljnfs he spoke of? If so, why doesn’t he act on them?
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He definitely still likes you: he was watching cars on the street hoping that you were in one of them; he invited you over; he cared for you; he watched a movie with you; he cooked for you; he kissed you, and he texted you something mundane about his life. He wouldn't go through all of that effort if he was simply being friendly.
That being said, he's probably nervous about rekindling something. For what reason, I don't know: he may feel like the opportunity has passed him by; he may have second guessed his feelings for you upon being given a second chance, or he may not be in a position to invest in a woman at the moment while still wanting the comfort of one
It’s been 5 days and I haven't heard from him. Ans irs alway been hot and cold like this since we broke up. I just wish he could be honest at this point. Like does he only love me when he’s drinking? One of the texts he said when back tracking a year ago was “stop letting me fall in love with you when drinking, it fucks both of us up”… so I said “you didn’t mean when you said?” And he said “of course I did, but I don’t feel it when I’m in this mood rn (hungover?) “
He's trying to ignore his feelings for you. Again, I don't know why that is. Maybe there are reasons he doesn't want you in particular. Maybe it has nothing to do with you: maybe he's just not in a place to pursue a woman seriously. It's hard to say without knowing your situation and history. In any case, you've left enough of a mark to where he's thinking about you regularly. Sometimes, the best thing you can do in a negotiation is walk away to make a person run back to the table
Oh.. ok. Thanks for the feedback. So you don’t think it has to do with not liking me enough or not being that into me?
I wish I could give you less of a wishy washy answer: he could just not be that into you, or he may not be in a place to invest rn. It’s one of the two
Ok well I appreciate your advice! Do you think I should leave him be for now? Not reach out?
I guess what I’m asking is if it’s really true that a guy could just be scared or not ready? It’s just weird bc he committed to that girl for 10 months but I guess it ended so maybe he rlly just isn’t ready. A year ago he told me that everything leads him back to me and I’m his charm. But I just would think if he rlly felt that way , he’d be with me.
You can either leave him alone or let him know that the door is open, whatever you feel more comfortable with. You just want to avoid him taking your presence for granted by being overly available
True :/ I guess I’ll just leave him alone. I’m sure he gathers that I still have feelings. That’s the shitty part he prob knows I’ll always love him and people are more likely to take you for granted in that case
He may have little feelings for you but doesn’t sound like he’s that in love with you.