i broke up with my ex boyfriend 8 months ago after almost 4 years of relationship. This break up was violent for him at the beginning: suicide attempt, binge drinking (things he never did before)... I’ve seen him recently for the first time since the break up and he looked like he was doing much better and had moved on.
However I think there is a difference between what he says and what he does (I've told him that I still have some feelings for him, but we agree that we cannot be together anymore).
He tells me (examples):
- He doesn't feel anything for me anymore and has moved on
- He said that we will never be together again "not in 100 years"
- He finally realized that our relationship was unhealthy (but admitted that it was mostly his fault. he has a dominant personality so we always had to do what he liked or else he would whine and have tantrums)
- He wants a Girlfriend that has a personality opposite to mine (more dominant)
Now here are the things he does that make me think the opposite:
- On his bookshelf, he has some items that belonged to us (like an ashtray I had given him) that are exposed like trophies he's proud of seeing.
- He cried when I wanted to give him back a ring (he had demanded to have it back when we broke up) he had given me when we were together (but now he told me to keep it)
- He was holding my hand and was kissing me when I saw him (but he was saying that it didn't mean anything to him), and comforting me when I was crying.
After this post-break up encounter, he posted on my Facebook wall, that it was good to see ma and hopes I arrived safely home. A couple of days later, he comments on my status message (about playing guitar hero), asking if I could play a certain artist's song (about love and forgetting a relationship). I find it very provocative as everyone can see his comments + he knows that m with someone else now.
I sent him an email to say that I hope he was doing alright and just random stuff, then he replied back through email only 1 sentence of random stuff, but ending his message writing “kisses”.
At the same time I think he is playing me, posting on FB awkward messages, just to get back at me for having broken up with him. But on the other hand I would like to think he is genuine and still loves me (even though he says he doesn’t), because I don’t think that in 8 months you can forget the girl you thought you would marry and have a family with and he’s just trying to play tough.
What do you think of the whole situation? Do you think he’s maybe exploiting the fact that I still have some feelings for him? Or do you think he may still have feelings for me even if he doesn’t act that way? I'm getting very confused...
However I think there is a difference between what he says and what he does (I've told him that I still have some feelings for him, but we agree that we cannot be together anymore).
He tells me (examples):
- He doesn't feel anything for me anymore and has moved on
- He said that we will never be together again "not in 100 years"
- He finally realized that our relationship was unhealthy (but admitted that it was mostly his fault. he has a dominant personality so we always had to do what he liked or else he would whine and have tantrums)
- He wants a Girlfriend that has a personality opposite to mine (more dominant)
Now here are the things he does that make me think the opposite:
- On his bookshelf, he has some items that belonged to us (like an ashtray I had given him) that are exposed like trophies he's proud of seeing.
- He cried when I wanted to give him back a ring (he had demanded to have it back when we broke up) he had given me when we were together (but now he told me to keep it)
- He was holding my hand and was kissing me when I saw him (but he was saying that it didn't mean anything to him), and comforting me when I was crying.
After this post-break up encounter, he posted on my Facebook wall, that it was good to see ma and hopes I arrived safely home. A couple of days later, he comments on my status message (about playing guitar hero), asking if I could play a certain artist's song (about love and forgetting a relationship). I find it very provocative as everyone can see his comments + he knows that m with someone else now.
I sent him an email to say that I hope he was doing alright and just random stuff, then he replied back through email only 1 sentence of random stuff, but ending his message writing “kisses”.
At the same time I think he is playing me, posting on FB awkward messages, just to get back at me for having broken up with him. But on the other hand I would like to think he is genuine and still loves me (even though he says he doesn’t), because I don’t think that in 8 months you can forget the girl you thought you would marry and have a family with and he’s just trying to play tough.
What do you think of the whole situation? Do you think he’s maybe exploiting the fact that I still have some feelings for him? Or do you think he may still have feelings for me even if he doesn’t act that way? I'm getting very confused...
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