What’s the extent of messaging people from work OUTSIDE of work?

[Anonymous]

A couple weeks ago, a guy I work with called me at 4 in the morning. I didn’t pick it up as I was sleeping which then led him to call me for an hour and a half. I then got up and sent him a message asking if he was okay, he was. He was just under the influence and I guess by a lot. He then proceeded to message me and I asked him why he wasn’t talking to his girlfriend or calling her, which he replied with “fight” I did ask why me out of all people, and he said cause we vibe at work. He also complimented on how I looked on our work do, which took me back a bit and said not to say that but then he covered it with the “it’s just a compliment”. He then called me and told me to pick up because he wanted someone to talk to and I was not keen on it. Then he told me that his girlfriend had an argument about me because after the work do I messaged everyone including this guy “hope you get home safe” as we went somewhere further away from home and we were all drinking.

ANYWAYS I don't know does this mean anything? Like what should I do about it, should I do anything? Or leave it? Or talk to him? Any advice would be great :D

[Oliverlogan263]

As a guy, that situation would make me uncomfortable if I was in your shoes. Calling/messaging that late at night, especially under the influence, crosses a line. A few things I'd consider:

- It was inappropriate of him to call/text you like that without consent, more so since he has a girlfriend. Could create drama or issues at work.

- His excuse of "just vibing at work" doesn't justify contacting you privately after hours. Work is work.

- Complimenting your looks was out of line too, even if he tried to play it off. Shows a lack of proper boundaries.

- I'd be direct but professional with him. Say the late/drunk contact made you uncomfortable and to only contact you about work matters during work hours out of respect for his relationship and your privacy.

- Consider letting HR know so it's documented in case of future issues. Don't want it turning into harassment.

- Keep future communication with him strictly work-related if you have to interact at all. Distance yourself to be safe.

Bottom line, his actions were questionable and cross professional/respectful lines. I'd try to distance myself and not think much of any "meaning" - just protect yourself at work. Hopefully he gets the hint to act appropriately moving forward.