Did he mean what he said while drunk?

[Anonymous]

I have a huge crush on my coworker. We have a flirty relationship and we have been there for each other through difficult times. Examples of flirting include prolonged eye contact, staring, doing silly things to get my attention etc.

I saw him out on Saturday night. We both had a lot to drink and I admitted that I had feelings for him. Eventually he said the same thing but we could not be together because of working together etc. then we had a quick kiss (peck) on the lips.

I’ve just seen him this morning and he had no recollection of what happened because he was also drunk. He didn’t look overly happy when I told him about the kiss and he said “that’s not ideal, I wouldn’t have kissed you properly”

I was apologetic but he more or less didn’t care that it happened.

Now things are really awkward (for me anyway). Even though he was very drunk, is there still the possibility that he does have feelings for me?

[NWDude]

It's absolutely possible, and your feelings are valid. It's confusing for any of us to get mixed messages from someone, particularly when we have feelings and are attracted to them. The workplace situation is just unfortunate. It's more wise than not to steer clear of a relationship given that fact, as the consequences if it didn't work out, would be like what your experiencing now, but ×100.

Are there any formal workplace policies against workplace relationships? If so, it's a hard "no," as you'd be doubly screwed if you lost your jobs and it didn't work out.

I'm assuming your both single? If not, another hard "no." Unless of course your unhappy, then breaking it off with your significant other is obviously the first step.

Only you can know if it's in your heart to make the move. Sorry, I wish I had more solid advice, but that's just the nature of these situations. No way around it. The positive however, is that you're in the driver's seat regarding your actions and no one can tell you how you feel. That's on your heart. I've always benefited in the past with seeking guidance, or at least having a place to process these things, with a good therapist. Additionally, simply seeking guidance and processing as you're already doing is awesome.

You'll find your way. Don't worry too much, and always take care of yourself and needs. That's absolutely number one. Good luck and blessings, friend 🙏

[Drew-1990]

Very high possibility. People are actually more honest when drunk. I definitely said some things I truly meant but wouldn't normally say. He is probably upset he said it drunk because it's not how he would want to tell you.

[Amara_09]

Alcohol brings the truth out……ask me because I am brutally honest. If I like your ass then I will said then and there

[Jessica405]

Things said at midnight are never said at midday. Especially when drunk.

[Courtneyblabla]

He could still be interested in you but those feelings might not be as strong as you think it is. So continue doing you and eventually, he’ll develop stronger feelings for you out of flirting and etc.

[JacobJordan]

If he doesn't remember then it should be pretty clear what the answer to that question is

[Asker]

Just because you don’t remember doesn’t mean you didn’t mean it. I can’t remember exactly everything I said to him but I know I meant what I said.

[JacobJordan]

Sure but if it is something as important as admitting how one feels for someone it would be remembered especially if it was true. By your own admission "he more or less didn't care"

[Asker]

But if he doesn’t care, why is he suddenly being hot and cold with me?

[JacobJordan]

He was drunk you kissed him. Then you told him what happened because he didn't remember.

[OddBeMe]

Hard to say…what is truth from someone’s mouth. I’d base it off tone. Especially while drunk.

Although his inhibition would be drained so his he wouldn’t be filtering his words much.

[Asker]

He did sound quite sincere

[OddBeMe]

Yeah…more it’s the best over the counter truth drug on the market.

[boggboss]

Possible he has some what feeling but irrelavent as even when drunk stating nothing could happen

[JayBones]

Ye of course he meant it. Nothing can happen because you work together. Doesn't sound like he would quit, so you will have to.

[OtterMan68]

alcohol = truth serum. People are unfiltered when drunk, so he said what he meant

[Asker]

If this is the case, how come he is acting so odd around me?

[OtterMan68]

he's conflicted

[Asker]

I suppose. He’s been gradually getting better with me and he does give me an intense look when we make eye contact but he hasn’t flirted with me like he has before. Also, he was busy with another woman and snapped at me because I was waiting for him

[OtterMan68]

his heart says "relationship" but his mind says "workplace romances aren't good." That's a possibility

[Asker]

Thank you. I had suspected for a while that he had feelings for me because there were many signs. I’m happy that we feel the same way but sad because I feel like I’ve jeopardised things. He said he didn’t care about what happened on Saturday but it seems he does..

[tfan1]

I don’t drink but I’ve heard of the saying - “ When the liquor’s in, the truth comes out”

[Twalli]

He probably does. Alcohol doesn't make you do things you wouldn't consider while sober. It just lowers your inhibitions regarding them.

[DagonbroughtMehere]

Alcohol does not change a Human's nature, it makes it easier for their true nature to be shown.

[Guido]

When drunk, people are totally honest with their feelings and say what's on their mind.

[Anonymous]

He said he wouldn't have kissed you properly or would have?

[laly520]

just ask him girl

[Subflics]

Alcohol just gives you the courage to say things

[Pterodon]

Very possible

[spartan55]

Don't think so.

[Iron_Man]

Ask him