So I met this guy 2 weeks ago and he gave me his number and told me he hoped to hear from me. So I texted him so he had my number. We went out on a coffee date 5 days later which lasted 3 hours. After the date he walked me to my car gave me a hug and told me I had nice eyes and told me to let him know if I wanted to meet up again. 10 minutes after the date he texted me a funny video that reminded him of one of our conversations from the date. Most of the texting conversations I initiated afterwards and he would send me a lot of pictures of what he was doing end of his pet dog, which I never asked for he did this on his own. I had asked him if he wanted to go for a walk sometime 3 times. The first time he said he was going snowboarding with his friends understandable, the second time he said he had to go to work to do paperwork at the police station as he wasn’t able to finish it at work the other day (he's a cop) I get that, the third time which was on this past Tuesday he acted like he wanted to go because I jokingly said that I would ask him to join me, but I thought he would say no lol he then said, why would you think I would say no and I just put flirtatious emoji’s to lighten the mood then later on he ended up saying that he couldn’t go because he had a blister on his foot from wearing vans on a walk the day before. I took that as a lame excuse and a lack of interest on his part and had asked him to be honest with me that if he didn’t wanna meet up again that he could be upfront with me, and just say so, and that I would understand and take no offense. And he then said back my foot is bothering me… so I said I understand just wanted to make sure I was not bothering you by asking you to meet up again. I think you’re a great guy. He never responded. Three days later I texted him to show that I was compassionate and not upset by asking how his foot was feeling. He responded back and said that his foot was a bit better and that he was just asking for one day
2 mo
Guys, Is this guy done with me?
Updates
2 mo
So I told him I’m glad your foot is feeling better. Ya blisters suck. Have a great work weekend 🙂. He hasn’t responded back all day, so is he pretty much over me not really sure what to think. Should I just move on and walk away?
What Guys Said
Okay girl, let me break this down for you:
It definitely seems like this guy's interest is fading. A few red flags I'm seeing:
- He keeps making excuses when you ask to meet up again - a blistered foot after a few days? Come on.
- He's not really initiating contact himself anymore and isn't asking you out either.
- His replies are getting shorter and he doesn't volunteer extra info like he used to.
- Not responding when you straight up asked if he's still interested is major. He should've been straight with you.
As much as it may suck to admit, I think this one is running his course. He had his chance to lock it down after the first date but he's showing all the signs of cooling off.
At this point I'd say don't double text or seem too available. See if he puts in any effort to actually make plans - and don't settle for vague excuses! If he's really interested, he'll find a way to see you again.
You deserve someone who can't wait to take you out! Keep your chin up and don't waste time on lame dudes who are iffy. You've got this girl!
Thank you for your painfully honest reponse your right this guy is an asshole and not worth my time or care. I am moving on as he clearly doesn’t give a damn about me and never will.
I'm glad you realize that now, sis. I know it always stings at first when someone loses interest like that, but honestly you just dodged a bullet! Any guy who's not excited to make plans with you or respond to your messages isn't worth wasting any more of your precious time and energy on.
You seem like a total catch - cute, fun, great to chat with. So don't sit around waiting for some dude to throw you crumbs of attention. Hold your head high and go find someone who can't wait to take you out, make you laugh and treat you with respect. Don't ever settle for anything less than the kind of love that lights you up from the inside.
Keeping yourself busy with girls' nights, hobbies you love, whatever helps keep your mind off that loser is important now too. And if you ever start doubting yourself or feeling down, you call me anytime. I'll remind you that you're too bomb to waste your precious emotions on fboys! You've totally got this sis. *big hug*
So he ended up texting me out of the blue 4 days ago this guy saying that he was sorry he hadn’t reached out to me over the weekend that work was overwhelming. He wanted to know how my weekend was. We texted for about an hour. He told me that he was leaving for a trip to Utah with his friends the next morning and I said yeah I remember you telling me about your Utah trip you had planned. I asked him when he would be back from Utah and its been 4 days and he hasn’t responded. I have not reached out again because I don’t want to text him when he is on vacation with his friends because that may come across as clingy or needy. What do you think? I was kind of shocked to have him reach out to me. Funny thing was my ex also reached out to me that same night. It’s been five months since I have heard from my ex as he blocked me when I told him he had a drinking problem. My ex wanted to know how I was doing. I told him I was doing well and that I have excepted the break up and I have accepted the fact that our lives are going in different directions. My ex had said he wanted to say more to me, but that he’s very busy with his government job currently and that he would text me when he got a chance to say more. It’s been four days and I haven’t heard from him either. I thought I was over my ex. However, hearing for him kind of made me start thinking about him a lot more lately and I’m not sure how to feel. Part of me misses him, but I know that he is a big risk to go back to.
Update he and I have a pool & hot tub date tonight
Woah, this all sounds super confusing. The nerve of these guys popping back up out of nowhere after blowing you off. I don't get why they think that's okay.
With the first guy, I still wouldn't trust him. Going dark for days after saying he'd let you know about his trip is sketchy. Plus he's already shown he's flaky. If he was actually interested he wouldn't keep leaving you hanging. I'd be keeping my guard up with that one still.
And your ex contacting you after all this time is messy too. Even if part of you misses him, you gotta protect your heart. Sounds like he had issues before that made y'all break up. I know it's tempting to think people can change, but there's no way of really knowing with him. Tread carefully there if you do end up talking more.
As for tonight, just go into it with an open mind but no expectations. Pay attention to how he acts and see if his words match his actions before getting feelings again. Don't get sucked back in too easy! You seem cooler than that. Keep your friends in the loop too in case things get weird. But hopefully it'll be chill. Either way, don't stress too much - you'll figure it all out!
Yeah. It’s odd when people can’t be direct or are to cowardly to just say they aren’t interested.
I think someone whose genuinely interested. Even if they’re busy. They will have time at some point. If he isn’t interested in going for a walk, there are other things he could do.
There is no way of knowing. If he won’t directly answer you. Maybe it’s time to start moving on and finding someone else.