What does it mean when a man tells you he hopes you find a man that loves you the way you need to be loved?

[Anonymous]

It only hurt because I thought he would be the one to but he could care less

[ChicoFromThe305]

It doesn't mean he isn't interested, he just wants to hear your response cause with this saying if the cards are played right you can get some info on the type of guys she's into, that of course depends if he wasn't just trying to end the convo, if so then he isn't interested.

[Asker]

I mean it was sorta like a rejection

[ChicoFromThe305]

Maybe you are taking it that way, I learned something today tho, to not say that shit anymore if I'm interested, cause women over think about disinterest, noted 💀

[Asker]

Oh no it was a rejection. I’m not just saying that… we talked and went on one date…

If a man wants to be with you he wouldn’t push you to be with another one

[ChicoFromThe305]

Now you are changing the story and making me look stupid in the process 😂

Y'all having a dating history changes everything, yea it's rejection, indirect.

[Asker]

I’m sorry… I just wanted to know about the statement itself

[ChicoFromThe305]

Welp that is something that can be taken in many ways but details matter

[Asker]

What kind of details?

[ChicoFromThe305]

Like the one you just mentioned about y'all dating before

[ChicoFromThe305]

I've said this before because based on their reaction you can see if they are interested in You, you already dated this guy and they way he said it seemed like he was legit about it cause he already tried something with you and he is probably not interested himself, I might still be wrong about this cause if he still has feelings he can be saying it to not see like he does

[Asker]

That’s that… we talked.. dated… didn’t work out ig bc he ghosted me for a bit..

[ChicoFromThe305]

It all adds up to the idea that he isn't interested

[Asker]

Yeah,.. I just don’t understand why

[ChicoFromThe305]

Cause that happens sometimes anon, the best thing you can do is move on and find someone you can start fresh with

[BearKitty]

Well what is the context? Did this happen after a fight of some sort?

After a fight that you started because he didn't do something? He doesn't feel like he can keep up to your standards that you need from a man and hopes you can find it somewhere else.

Out of no where? He wants his ego stroked "oh yes you can love me the way I need to loved honey".

[Asker]

We talked for a couple weeks… I was doing the most

We met up at a coffee shop. Ig it didn’t go well… I really liked him still

We text once after that and he ghosted… I sent out a few text when I should have just accepted it

He finally called and said “I apologize for how I made you feel. I don’t want anyone in the world to be mad at me and I don’t know about it.. I didn’t feel like I ghosted you. I just don’t want to invest my time if we weren’t going to eventually have sex. He said he didn’t want to go back and forth with me because I misunderstand what he says. He’s stressed with work and he has higher/other priorities. He’s trying to get closer to God.

Then he said that at the end

[BearKitty]

Ew. I'm sorry girl. I would let him go. I always hate how much stress is on first dates. We get nervous and are so weird. He thinks of you more as a friend and ghosted you because people would rather be crappy then deal with confrontation. He approached you after the fact because he potentially sees you as a friend (assuming you are friends with him) and wants to maintain that friendship.

[Asker]

I don’t understand… why was i friendzoned

He put up with so much during the talking stage… this means he wasn’t attracted …

[Asker]

A friend he wanted to eventually sleep with? I’m so confused

[BearKitty]

Well only he can really tell you that with accuracy, but since this here is for doing our best and analyzing.

I'll start with the fact that you said he "put up with so much" and I"m curious to some more details on that bit.

[BearKitty]

Guys like to have sex. That is no secret. Some guys can want sex from a person and want nothing more. Us females are the ones who have a difficult time not getting feelings involved.

[Asker]

I can be emotionally unstable… and he mentioned (not on the date) that I come off as a tad unstable… but I will admit that I wasn’t looking and he knew that. I told him IN THE BEGINNING that I will talk to him until he becomes exclusive to someone else

He said he didn’t understand that and he said he would end up liking for nothing.

There was another incident where I was trying to sabotage…

I like posting pics of myself in a suggestive way. He complimented the pic of me smiling with just my face lol…. I mentioned having a hot girl summer and he said I was already hot everything else should be a walk in the park

I told him that I was happy he thought so. He said I hope you’re not getting excited. I guess I misunderstood and went off

Accused him of just wanting to fuck and playing me

He has mentioned that he didn’t like how things started

But on the date… he said he was scared to sleep with me bc I’ll be “crazier “

[BearKitty]

So in the beginning you told him you weren't looking for a relationship, but then when the conversation gets sexual (which was something you were okay with), you accused him of giving you what you said in the beginning you wanted?

He doesn't know what you want, he doesn't believe you know what you want. Doesn't know what to expect and might just be a nice guy who does worry about your feelings, and doesn't want to be the "ghosting" type guy, but you scared him and that was the safest out for him.

FIgure out what you want from someone and don't backtrack. Things can grow, and you can change your mind, but be honest with yourself and don't expect things to change, unless you express your feelings are changing. Men can't read our minds.

[Asker]

No he said it had no sexual connotation to what he was saying… he felt like I was getting excited because he complimented me and he thought that goes against what I wanted (which is a relationship)

But I told him before we exchanged numbers that I wasn’t looking for a relationship or anything casual. No SEX…. But he said he didn’t just want sex…. He wasn’t looking for sex specifically

[BearKitty]

In this message you literally say "that goes against what I wanted (which is a relationship)' and "I wasn't looking for a relationship" in the next paragraph. So I am confused as well in what you wanted from him as well.

[Asker]

I just wanted to talk until he moved on to someone else

[BearKitty]

After all that conversation and now your saying this, it feels like a bait and switch. You already dropped relationship, which is and isn't what you wanted. Relationship means he doesn't move on to talk to someone else. He enjoys your company as is and is okay without sex.

Even if you were willing to put out, you probably wouldn't turn it around on him. Let it go and find someone who can match and understand your energy.

[Asker]

But that was all in the beginning I had ended up wanting to take things slow with him and he knew that.

I don't know what happened … he backed off a bit bc he was “being careful “

But once we went on that date it’s like a switch happened midway… I’m just trying to figure it out. It left me feeling horrible

[BearKitty]

Well he was okay with the attention when you didn't want something more serious. When your feelings grew to wanting more, he knew you weren't right for him. He didn't want you to get invested in a long-term situation when he didn't see it as that. Talking to someone who doens't want to take things seriously, can open a door for sex, so they will deal with a lot for sex. A full-on relationship with NO SEX is a big deal for a guy as he can't get any anywhere. He was okay with the initial bit, because he could still do what he wanted and still get laid. You wanted him not to get laid. He wasn't okay with that. He doens't have to be.

[Asker]

No because I told him I wasn’t interested in having sex at all… I said I didn’t want a relationship and I didn’t want anything casual. I meant that. I told him that I was protecting my emotional wellbeing at all cost

I feel like he wasn’t truly honest with his intentions.. that’s why we’re confused and that’s probably why he didn’t call back after the date.. which was a mistake. I was under the impression that he wanted more when he didn’t. He lied

I’m not saying he flat out said he wanted a relationship but I felt he did because he said “I thought you were looking for something serious “…. But I never stated that

[Asker]

I’m sorry yes you are correct… I was played… I brought this on myself though. I can’t be upset but I wish I never talked to him. He’s brilliant with how he played me

He said some comments that I didn’t like… 1. I told him that my dad was a pastor and later on he says… “does your father know you dress like that “ … he looked away and said it a bit serious… I didn’t know what to say…

[WhitneySnow]

He thinks he’s not the right man for you. He’s trying to be nice and spare you the heartbreak of dating him.

[tremendousfern]

It sounds like the kind of nonsense line you'd hear in a romance film or novel. Very overly dramatic.

[Asker]

Yeah but he was rejecting me lol…. very dramatic.. we did go on a date and talk for a bit

[tremendousfern]

Haha, "I hope you find a man that loves you the way you need to be loved." Walks off into a rainstorm. "I was going to miss that girl. She was a real dame, but alas, the road calls to me - my one true love!" Roll credits.

[Asker]

Lmfaoooo

[Asker]

I’m still curious to know why he had to be so dramatic about it.

[tremendousfern]

Maybe his only idea of dating and relationships is romantic fiction or maybe he's just a dramatic person... who knows?

[Asker]

Would he say something like that even if he only wanted to fck?

[JacobJordan]

It means you are being unrealistic in your dating approach and he wishes you luck in finding someone to fulfill those unrealistic requirements because you need it.

[Bklynbadboy12]

That means that you're a difficult you're a lot of work. And he's not willing to put in that type of work

[Asker]

I’m not difficult he just wanted to have sex

[Asker]

I’m not even difficult

[laly520]

a classic way to cut ties

[Asker]

…. They would say that?

[laly520]

yes all time

[Asker]

He really did not give af… ig he felt like he could do better.

[andreasderjuengere]

It means that she's... "difficult" :)

[KrakenAttackin]

It means he's done with you.

[Asker]

I don't know what I did… just straight dumped…

He claims it’s because we aren’t going to have sx anytime soon

[dudewithnoname]

* he couldnt care less

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆