Busy Or Just Not Interested?

[EDR44]

I get that everyone has a busy life but to me busy is used as an excuse for so many things its getting frustrating. It's about making time as opposed to having time is how I think. Why do people make plans then always have to cancel?

[AmandaYVR]

In some cases, yes, just busy, not interested. They are not prioritizing you.

But also:

• Legit busy
• Distracted by this digital-media age
• Depressed
• Disorganized

Some of the ways to gauge interest are:

How do they respond when they do communicate? Do they apologize? Are their reasons specific or vague? Do they make future plans? Are they open about what's going on in their life, or do they conceal, withdraw, or withhold?

You can ruin relationships by being too demanding, having unrealistic expectations. No one wants to be shamed when they already feel bad enough as is. But if someone (the other) never takes accountability for their actions and behaviour, then they are going to lose people from their life, and that won't be on you, it'll be on them. They just need to realize that. You can be direct but kind, and tell them how you've been feeling about the relationship. Give them a chance to understand your point of view. Ghosting is becoming the norm, now. People tend to avoid directness because it can be unpleasant, or worse, seem confrontational. But it can also be the one thing which repairs relationships, so it's vital to do sometimes. But then, I'm sure you already know all this, at your age. I'm just exploring the topic with you. I often find myself in this situation, either on one end or another. It's very common, especially nowadays, in this more globally connected, individualistic society. Though I think it will always persist as something we deal with, because people are people. More people = more problems.

[sage2021]

Yeah, the old "I'm busy".

Some guy told me he was busy but when I went to Applebee's and saw him sitting there at the bar funneling down those beers, I called him on it.
I remember even asking him if he was the one that thought he invented the busy excuse. I told him "You didn't invent it. It's been around for a long time". I added that everyone is busy these days, not just you.

[spartan55]

I give a date one chance to reschedule because things happen in life. SHE is to reschedule, not me, preferably at the time of cancellation.
If they don't follow up within 24 hours I'm out.

[naartjie]

If someone cancels once I’d give it another go and if it happens a second time… yeah sorry I don’t have time for that. Yes sometimes things in life does happy and come up! But not repeatedly and if it does then maybe take a look at your life and sort things out before trying to date or make friends.

[Anonymous]

People make time for who or what is important, same with prioritization. So if the person is rejecting/cancelling plans without trying to reschedule or make a new ones then yeah, I’d say they aren’t interested.

[laly520]

just not interested