How to deal with people accusing you of being an incel?

[VV3ZZY123]

How to deal with people accusing you of being an incel, when in fact you just have really high standards.

[Flatmanlewis]

How do you deal with them? I’d say one of two ways. Respond that you are not an incel and ask why they think that you are? Be open to their replies and don’t argue them - just listen. Once they have delivered their opinion chew them for a few days and ask yourself what your projecting that sends that impression to people.


Second possible way, you work with some assholes who just like picking on people and have found a single dude and an easy target.


As far as having high-standards, how you express those to the world (and if you even should at work at all) is probably both unwise and half your problem. Anybody who falls outside your standard (or loves a woman who does as well) may see your opinions as very passive-aggressive and it’s a huge turn off. Nobody needs to be reminded if they or those they love are a lower standard than others may expect. It’s just comes off wrong. Save those potentially offensive opinions for anonymous internet places or your pals in a pub over drinks.

[I_Am_Loner0405]

You can’t argue with the type of people who accuse you of being an incel. It’s like arguing with someone who accuses you of being racist for being born white. It won’t go anywhere. It’s best to ignore these people. Tell them they’re insane and unhinged and Block them.

[I_Am_Loner0405]

If it’s someone irl accusing you of being an incel just ignore them or tell them yup I’m an incel. Because you know you’re not and what they believe isn’t going to change.

[VV3ZZY123]

Truth

[wiltingrosepetal]

1 - Change the way you talk online. Calling women 'females' or making up bitter misconceptions like calling us all cheaters, both are common incel behaviours.

2 - Let it go? If someone calls you something that you know you're not, you shouldn't have any reason to get offended, right? I mean, I've been accused of being a slut 'cause of how I talk online. Doesn't really get to me since I'm a virgin who's had one boyfriend 💀

[VV3ZZY123]

What? Who called all women cheaters?

[VV3ZZY123]

Females women same thing

[VV3ZZY123]

You dont know what its like

[wiltingrosepetal]

Dude, go onto Instagram for two seconds. Any reel that has a couple will be followed up by descriptive, angry comments accusing her of cheating. Obviously, without any reason. It's bitter men voicing their bitterness because they don't like women, and don't like seeing anyone in a relationship.

And don't tell me 'females women same thing' when I'm giving you a fact. Obviously they're the same thing but the internet has decided that one is good and the other is incel behaviour. I'm just giving you suggestions on how to not come across as an incel. You're saying you hate being called it, right? So why are you calling me wrong for trying to help?

If you really REALLY don't want to be called it, change the way you act online. It's not that hard 😭

[VV3ZZY123]

I dont use Instagram. I believe that there are dudes harassing girls or couples, but what has that got to do with me?

[VV3ZZY123]

My Dad was a Corrections Officer too and I would never hurt anyone or break the law

[VV3ZZY123]

Also my older brother is a Corrections Officer

[VV3ZZY123]

I have a Bachelors Degree in Computer Animation

[VV3ZZY123]

While all my highschool buddies were having kids or getting wasted I was working on Feature films

[VV3ZZY123]

All you care about is your self. Coward!

[wiltingrosepetal]

Yeah I'm starting to see why you get called an incel 😄 also, hot tip, if you don't want advice, maybe don't ask a question in the first place. It's very misleading

[VV3ZZY123]

Oh because I'm asking a bunch of morons you mean?

[VV3ZZY123]

Also what do you know. Your a child who still lives with mommy and daddy

[wiltingrosepetal]

You know you've lost an argument to an 18 year old when your only available comeback is to mock their age ☺

[VV3ZZY123]

Okay well I have a really hard life. So when girls make fun of me and call me names it hurts. And nobody gives two shots about me except my mom.

[VV3ZZY123]

I left work early yesterday telling people I wanted to kill myself. I was baker acted 2 years ago. I been to two rehabs last year for mental health. Still can't get girls to like me no matter where I go. People always judging me without knowing why

[VV3ZZY123]

What if I was abused by females... and people keep calling me names because I'm hurt.

[rosemilk]

tell them that you just have really high standards. not like it's any of their business tho

[VV3ZZY123]

Yea they won't say it. They just make fun of me and exclude me

[VV3ZZY123]

People at work*

[rosemilk]

well honestly it's kinda weird for them to be so interested in your sex life lol. just get your paycheck and go home

[VV3ZZY123]

Lol yuuup

[CheeseMonster]

I don't know, I've never been called an incel and I'm also celibate by choice. I guess it would depend on why they call you that. Are they actually saying you can't get laid, or are they just using it as a general insult on your appearance or personality? Either way it's not very nice or constructive criticism. I wouldn't be friends with those people.

[VV3ZZY123]

It comes from a lot of black people along with "my dick is bigger"

[CheeseMonster]

Where? Like your coworkers or something? Or are you being anti-catcalled in the street by random black people?

[VV3ZZY123]

Just certain people are like that these days.

[CheeseMonster]

Okay then just avoid those certain people.

[VV3ZZY123]

Alrighty thanks :)

[Anonymous]

Honestly why do you care? Most people's opinions are not worth a bucket of piss. The fact that someone would take the TIME to comment negatively on your lack of relationships only shows how angry and bitter they are. Because why would they care otherwise?

[VV3ZZY123]

Its sexual harassment right?

[Opinion Owner]

You could call it harassment. I'm not sure I'd label it sexual harassment. The assumption is this is a sore spot with guys. Like we determine most of our value by the amount of women we're sleeping with. And it's typically made by women (or men) who put far too much emphasis on sex. Like I say I would just laugh at whoever would say this. Because they're not demeaning you (even THEY think they are). They just showing how unbalanced thier life is.

[VV3ZZY123]

Cool! THank you for the input!

[Sonorous]

I've had to tell people in the past that I wasn't an incel & instead that I was a volcel. I explained what it meant. Voluntarily celibate. And I've also openly expressed how I don't believe anyone is truly an incel. I really do believe there's someone out there for everyone. Not to say that everyone WILL find someone, but statistically speaking, the odds of someone being sexually attracted to us is never 0.

[Abbycado]

Tell em to F off with that crap or just don’t listen to them. People be stupid.

[HighValue]

A lot of women hate when men have standards, usually it is when men have no interest in low quality people with a promiscuous past. It is often those kinds that say that from what I have seen. I have never seen good quality women with good morals say that.

[JacobJordan]

You ignore them. I was called an incel a lot in my 20s I didn't care because I knew that I was in fact celibate because I was looking for the right person. If it doesn't apply there is no need to be upset, offended, defensive or anything else. If it doesn't apply the word is about as effective as saying "hey guy with the nose" notice how that is just kinda whatever for an emotional reaction upon reading it. Same thing

[IslaTheWitch]

don't care

you can't change people so change the way you receive their words and actions

[Snakeyes7]

Just don't bother. You can say "but i am married/ have a girlfriend/engaged" all you want. You aren't going to convince them otherwise because they don't care.

If they already resorted to that tactic you already won because insults are just a sign that they are coping with the loss of an argument.

[jennifer_bloom]

I had guys say I rejected them for racial reasons when I had far more intelligent reasons for rejecting them.

[JesseP1nk]

It is really easy - same way you deal with people who call you a purple hair. You know you are not, so you dismiss it and laugh at people who says it. All those name callings only affect you if you are not sure about yourself and think "maybe they are right" But person who are sure about themselves won't let others affect them.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I deal with it extremely easily, because I have no idea what it means, and every time people tell me, I forget straight after!

So in effect they are wasting their breath.

[Kelly6]

just ignore them.

i get called many things

[strateguy632]

ignore them. incel means involuntarily.

[RebelinSteel]

If you are not one, then you are not one, just ignore people.

[Apple1996]

High standards does equal to incel 90% of the time. You might fall into that 10% but either way you can't do much to stop people judging and labeling you

[VV3ZZY123]

So your saying incel is a good thing?

[VV3ZZY123]

You dont make any sense

[Apple1996]

It's not and neither is having high standards 😂

[VV3ZZY123]

High standards for how I want to be treated

[BryanMoore]

Try to not act like an incel, and you'll probably find such accusations happen less.

[OtterMan68]

is having high standards the only reason you were accused of that?

[VV3ZZY123]

I have had a difficult life. Beat someone to death at 17 (self defense) took a shit ton of LSD and Mushrooms in highschool. Smoke weed every day. My dad was a Corrections Officer. He died 8 years ago (alcahol & cigarettes) I've been to rehab 2 times last year.

[VV3ZZY123]

My point is... people just dont know me.

[WhyohWhy69]

You likely are, tbh. You’ve likely said nasty generalizations that are toxic. Quit being so hateful towards others.

[VV3ZZY123]

You just did what you said I did

[VV3ZZY123]

Your the one calling me names

[VV3ZZY123]

I've "likely" said something nasty towards others. Do you think before you type?

[slatyb]

I don't hang with ugly people.

[jahaims]

Why do care if they think you are an incel?

[noohair]

F them.