How should I deal with those who insult me?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I have this issue a lot in work-enviroments, people trash talk and/or speculate behind my back. But I've come to enjoy dismantling trashtalker hierarkies.

And there are some truths about these types of behavior in life that we all need to accept.
1. They never really know what they're talking about and rarely ever come with any good points. There is very little value in listening even when/if you know your at fault for something done.
2. This is human nature and it will keep happening. To no fault of your own.
3. If you notice trashtalk you can rest assured that there' trash going around on anybody because trashtalkers talk about even the ones that seems to be their friends.
4. Most people want to be good people but lack strength to do so on their own, so they follow along with trashtalkers or stand in silence.
5. Agree to disagree and don't hold it against them.

■■What to do■■
1. Understanding:
Practice understanding other people. Listen to others be vulnerable about themselves without judging. Make a habit of thinking up alternatives to conclusions other than your first. Always try to help but be honest if you lack the wisdom. --->> This is necessary for the method to work. It must be genuine.

2. Be vulnerable (optional):
Like Tyrion Lanister said, take your weaknesses and wear them like armour.
Be open to talk casually about your faults.
--->> This eliminates subjects others can speculate about. It neutralizes the mystery.

3. Be accountable:
Own your decisions (be responsible) and be open about when you've done wrong, apologise if necessary. Display an openess to improve and an understanding that in order to do so one must be ready to fail or make mistakes.
--->> This lays the groundwork for others to see that you have no illusions of grandure about yourself and don't look down on others. They can feel safe to be faulty, no need to keep up appearances.

4. Work on self (optional):
Make a habit of chasing after valuable experiences and expose your fears by daring to be openly afraid in order to challenge youself. --->> Exercising self-improvement will inspire others.

5. Create a Sanctuary:
Instead of facing them or confronting them, act as if you didn't hear. Be kind to them, never talk trash about anyone else or judge without extensive proof and if you happen upon other trashtalkers trying to smear.. Be the voice of reason, speak up (be fair but not hostile), think a few steppes further; Are there any other reasons for someone to act they way they did? --->> Doing this makes trashtalkers feel stupid and guilty before their 'friends' and others listening will see you defending randoms which means you'd also defend them should anything come up. The people willing to choose your friendship over theirs will defend you behind your back.

6. Clean slates:
Let every day be a clean slate for the trashtalker. Treat them with tough love rather than exclusion. Counter direct insults with banter. Invite hostility to become humored rivalry.

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

depends what these insults are and who they are to you. pray about it for strength. your parents, siblings, friends, or random people at school or online "friends" are different categories.

ideally... stand up for yourself as words can hurt. if you are hurting, you are more sensitive maybe empathetic person. If you weren't, you wouldn't be asking this question... those people are more on the narcissistic side... they don't care and don't have as much feelings and actually feel good hurting others.

there's different personalities and someone who is enjoying abusing you is hurt themselves or has walls up. Imagine what kind of a sick person it takes to intentionally cut others down, it's a different mind. Some people actually wan the abuse back because that's how they feel about themselves or what they got at home. So giving them jabs back jokingly can work to reset the engagement. Some people are trying to "challenge" you or just joke with you, look for their intent.

look for the truth. being a bigger person can work but that's hard if you are senstive and if you aren't strong.

walking away with your emotions sad can also work.

consider and explore your options.

Cathy7734 · Accepted Answer

I think it depends if people are always insulting you. No matter where you go, there is someone insulting you.

Tony Robbins says we all have stories that we are telling ourselves and they are self-fulfilling prophecies. For example, if a woman tells herself, "Every guy I'm interested in just uses me for sex." She has concrete proof of this and her girlfriends agree. Guess what happens with the next guy she is attracted to? He will use her for sex. It just has to be.

I would ask myself if I'm telling myself, "Every where I go people are insulting me. Family and friends." And I have concrete proof of this. I can make a list of it happening. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy and it has to come true. I wouldn't deal with those who are insulting me but I would deal with the story I'm telling myself.

Otherwise, if it's just a couple of rude people doing it, I would ignore them.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Don't lose your temper or get mean and do something petty that you will be ashamed off. A girl at school used to bully me and call me mean names, I was 15 and she was 17. She was jealous I think because I had very big boobs and use to humiliate me and spread malicious rumours about me. She was always mocking me becausemy familywas poor and my clothes cheap or 2nd hand. I decided to get revenge, I was working part time at the weekend in the club her father was the manager of collecting glasses. I flirted with him, I knew he was attracted to me because he was always staring at my chest. Anyway we started an affair for 7 months and he took my virginity. Eventually we got caught and because I was underage the police were involved though he only got a caution but his wife divorced him and he lost his job. My bully was devastated but I felt only shame and I missed her dad as he blamed me.

YourFutureEx · Answer

I'd recommend doing two things.

1. Get some friends and be around with them. You're least likely to be bullied/insulted when you're surrounded in a group of people who admire you. The bullies will think twice because they'd be afraid of the numbers you carry.

2. Be a bitch. A girl is insulting you? She's jealous. Call her fat. Or whatever you believe she's insecure about. A guy is insulting you? He just wants your attention. Humiliate him. A guy who gets owned by a girl loses his respect in the boys group and become a subject of bullying by the other guys.

Ignore them for the most part, but hit back when your instincts tell you.

globetrotter22 · Answer

You got two choices: ignore them or insult them back and tell them to F off.

Unfortunately you will have to deal with bullies for the rest of your life. They get more subtle when they become adults but they are usually:

1) deeply insecure and compensate by throwing insults and negative attention on other people. I notice that some (not all) overweight people do this as an effective tactic to redirect negative attention

2) they are sociopaths and they do this to elevate their own social status.

They suck either way but if they are persistent you need to put them in their place.

DenizLikesTennis · Answer

Yes I have been there too. What I did was joining a fight club (kickboxing) and I imagined how I would beat them up by punching the sandbag. Not only I emptied my frustration but I also burned calories, became stronger and everything. Do something that makes you go all out on something. Because right now when that happens, your adrenaline and cortisol levels are high. So that you are unable to focus on other things. Try breathing exercises as well.

Don't ever take it personally. I am certain that you also have people who admire you. At the end of the day people you can see how different people are 🤷‍♂️.

Moose304 · Answer

I remember my teens. While I was on our football team I still had issues with things like acne and those dang blackheads. Those were some of my best years and also some of my worse. I also know how intense peer pressure is at that age. You did not mention if these insults were in person or came from online. If they are coming online I suggest blocking them. If they are coming in person try to ignore them as best you can. About 2 weeks ago I heard of a girl in her mid teens that took her life because of this. So I am not making light your issue. The thing is you can't control what others think or say about you. I might also add one more thing. I tend to be rather direct and sometimes this makes me come off like an asshole. I do hope you are talking to somebody about these issues and not just looking toward social media for your answers.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

I remember back in those days. It was the reason I've got into fights back in highschool. Girl not trying to incorage violence back I punch them and let me tell you they stop. Yeah I was suppended but I also did explain what was going on. Not sure how it is now a days. Now I'm 29 if someone starts shit with me I just call the police on them.

Emiliamazing · Answer

Returning the favor and insulting them back to me escalate the issue. These are people you’re not close with, pay them no attention but perhaps validate that their insults have no substance. Constructive criticism from those around you can always be turned into insults with the improper language.
Finding a way to vent is important, but it needs to be in a manner whichndoesn’t upset the apple cart anymore than it has already been upset.

Gollum · Answer

Best to ignore them. Often people insult others out of some kind of jealousy even if it may not be palpable to you at this time. You are 16 to a few years from now these people won't even be in your life anymore.

My advice is not to plot any elaborate revenge schemes, I'm a little older than you and have seen many times over that mean people tend to get their comeuppance. The simple, but very effective law of cause and effect is immutable.

You can choose who you surround yourself with, pay those people no heed and it'll go away. All thebest!

sheikalana · Answer

We have all been bullied at some time during our teenage years. Different people have a different approach to this and that also depends on your personality. I've always been an introvert who hates confrontation and conflicts and used to stay quite and never answer back. Some people who are more extrovert would answer back.

DaySpring · Answer

Treat them with sincere praise and kindness. I'm serious. Don't listen to anyone else. @deborahrobinson If that advice is too hard for you then tell an adult what others are doing to you. If this is online then just block them and let go of what happen. Put it out of your mind completely. Replace it with it something better.

jshm2 · Answer

Depends, are they good, constructive or creative insults? Then they probably have something to offer you, or you should try and get to the bottom of them to see what's up.

If it's just cusses, sneers and word vomit, then not worth wasting your time on them. You value your time, more than they value theirs.

LemonsAsks · Answer

i always like to elevate their insults.
like i shit talk myself all the time
me at work singing:
" im bad at my job!.. im bad at my jooooob!"

if they say you suck tell em " i suck so bad like the other week i had a whole glass of suck just stuck to my chin you wouldn't believe it! it was pretty cool, i had a single kid play the trumpet for my acomplishment."

cause if your as lame as humanly possible you can only become cooler right?

kinggeorge007 · Answer

You can either ignore them completely or laugh it out in a self deprecating way.

It depends on the insulators. If you think you can keep be friends to for the laugh or if you think you have had enough and they won't stop, just ignore them completely. But this path is hard and painful.

I've done the both depending on the insulator.

Baredog69 · Answer

This is definitely not the question for me because if someone comes up and insults me whether directly or indirectly some side or back door insult I will be the first to turn around and tell them to go f*** themselves without hesitation. And if they continue to run their jaw then they will probably find something up beside of it like a fist chair club whatever it's happened before and it will probably happen again so be nice people you could run into someone like me.

Chiarac2003 · Answer

I date blck guys and hear every insult…. I now expect it n get super pde like holding him or making out.

Debbie14217 · Answer

Ignore them as best as you can... walk away... or somehow "kill them with kindness"... i tried that and a lot of people can't stand it lol... i love it when i do bc they are stumped and can't see or understand why i do it... lol

Dargil · Answer

"Your insults and name calling reveal that you have no class at all.". Never respond in any detail. Never defend yourself. Place it back in them.

Valso · Answer

Dig up some dirt on them and post it online for everyone to see. People do things in secret when they don't want anyone to know about it. That makes it sweet to publicly humiliate them and teach them a hard lesson they messed with the wrong person.

LovingLoverReturned · Answer

Hmm let me try to think what I'll say. Give me an example of an insult

Adam1978 · Answer

Put them on your black list and for most parts ignore them. When ever you get influence to distribute, don't let any of it go their way.

zagor · Answer

To your face, or to others? Not much you can do to those who talk behind your back. If they insult you directly, just try to turn it back on them by being the bigger person.

JoyGirl · Answer

Ignore them!  People will always talk no matter what you do.

Subarugirl · Answer

Ignore it, bullies thrive on the attention and reactions they get from it

VikingWarLord · Answer

Just ignore it, after High School, you won't keep in contact with over 99% of the people you graduated school wit

HeartFullOfGlue · Answer

Brush em off  what type of insults are they making?

domenico07 · Answer

Don’t deal with them. Others opinions don’t mean jack shit. At the end of the day, you live on this earth to make yourself happy, others come second and third and fourth. People don’t like to hear that, but it’s the truth

sensible27 · Answer

Maybe understand that it isn't a reflection of you it's them

allaboutyou2 · Answer

Ignore them and their comments, most people who insult people are looking for a reaction, if you don't give them one, you have taken the control away from them.

exitseven · Answer

If you have any older brothers maybe you could get them to put a beat down on them.

Luvely · Answer

Deleted and blocked them out of your life, friends don’t insult each other

Stoner710 · Answer

Ignore them they’re just pricks trying to make you feel low

genericname85 · Answer

do those that insult you play an important role in their life? like is there a reason for you to give a damn about their opinion?

ImNoOne111 · Answer

You will eventually learn to ignore them. Always watch out for constructive criticism but ignore insults

oldermale · Answer

Just try and ignore them and walk away, don't acknowledge them.

Fofaa · Answer

Record their voices and do video without they know when they insult you and go to police and report them their. It’s best thing to do 🤪

TDDMS · Answer

Well Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold had a way of handling people that insulted them.

AdithyaR · Answer

Ignore them, they're not worth the effort or attention.

beechman2129 · Answer

Depends on the insult. Personally, don't let it bother you. If you know the person, have a few good burns lined up to show you can defend yourself.

scooogy · Answer

Maybe I can help.. 😌

justsomemale · Answer

I literally just used to pretend they do not exist (some start to feel disrespected when you deny then the attention they are causing lol win)

Ihatethewill · Answer

1) Ignore them 2) Insult them back 3) Tell them to fuck off 4) Walk with friends

peedy · Answer

Either ignore them or agree with them, or makes jokes back at them the point is dont let them see that it bothers you

anylolone · Answer

Give little fucks about it, insult them back cleaverly for the lulz.

Dayman343 · Answer

You say, 'did you get training to be an asshole or were you born that way?'

Wise4myage · Answer

Think of good insults to use on anyone who insults you.

Creampiekarl420 · Answer

Find someone who is more of a loser than you and pick on them

JesseJayNeak · Answer

Take the high road like Jackie Robinson. If you fight back, they will tease you even more.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Be chill knowing its not true or you can roast them back by being chill about it

Better_off_here · Answer

you just be the bigger person and just forget about them.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Ignore them but if they put their hands on you beat the fuck out if them

Yucy_Gluttony · Answer

Ignore or destroy their whole career

fireforeffect · Answer

It can only be an insult if you value their opinion.

abed1217 · Answer

just ignore, its hard but effective  people these days are way too invested in dumb shit🤷🏼‍♂️

spartan55 · Answer

Are they insulting you about your belly button?

Anonymous · Answer

What exactly did they say to you?

20yearsolder · Answer

I better not say, you'll end up in jail.

Sparklegirl1616 · Answer

Just ignore the haters

Babygirl_S · Answer

Give what you receive.

Zealconsumesme · Answer

Depends on situation.

Staximus · Answer

Ummm... By finally getting a sweater?

maverick2022 · Answer

Get me to kick their ass.

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