Boyfriend needs time after a break?

[girl504]

My boyfriend and I have been together 8 years. We recently went through a one week “break” initiated by me. I came back and told him I loved him no matter what. We were fine for a couple days but now he says he needs time but we’re not breaking up. It’s confusing me because he keeps telling me he’s not leaving me and that he still loves me. Today he texted me saying he just wants to be alone and that he wasn’t happy. We still say goodnight and good morning to each other.. I’m so confused

[TommyMountainFigure]

Why are you confused? Guys respond badly to being told their girlfriend wants a break. This is his way of paying you back for it. Give him the time and space he needs to work through it and he'll be back when he thinks he's paid you back enough.

Just make a fuss of him when he comes back, saying you're sorry and all that schmutzy (Is that even a word?) stuff that children crave when they want attention, and things will be fine again.

[girl504]

I already did that, I came back and told him that I loved him no matter what. And I asked him if he was doing this to get back at me and he said “I don’t hate you, it’s for me”

[TommyMountainFigure]

And you believe that? Take my word for it, he is behaving like a spoilt child that has had his ego bruised by your break. He sees this as his turn to get back at you. Plain and simple! The question is though, are you going to get on his case and exacerbate the situation, or be clever and let him come back after he has picked his toys up off the floor?

[girl504]

How would I be clever? I love him so much to give up 8 years.. I want to be clever but I don’t want us to break up

[TommyMountainFigure]

When you left for a week, you were basically asking him to trust you would come back to him. You now need to afford him that same opportunity!

[Ironic_Method]

Sounds like the break caused him to realize that he's happier without you.

[girl504]

but then if that was true he could’ve just broken up with me. We had a break in 2019 and then a four month break up in 2021 and he came back both times

[Ironic_Method]

If you need 3 breaks, perhaps it's not working out. Hopefully one of you can see that.

[jahaims]

You are both too immature to call it quits. You are going to drag it out and make it worse.

[spartan55]

Breaks are a just a slow way of ending it.

[In_Trance]

So you want to rail other guys

[girl504]

No I wanted a break because he was ignoring me for video games

[In_Trance]

I don't understand how that would change inside of a week when all you've done is not see each other. I don't get that logic

[girl504]

because I realized that I loved him no matter what even if he ignored me I couldn’t be without him