What do you do if it feels like your work crush hates you ?

[Babygirliiw]

He only talks to me about work, and he talked to me like he was giving me instructions on stuff I already know how to do. It felt like he was rude. He also looked down and not at me. What do I do?

This is a genuine question

[HollyK21]

You think he hates you because he only talks about work?

[Babygirliiw]

Yeah. Maybe he thinks I’m gross stupid and not worth being friendly to

[HollyK21]

I don’t think that’s fair to say about yourself at all. He won’t be the first or last person to micromanage, and while yes we can say it’s rude I believe a polite conversation to set boundaries so he can stop doing it altogether would help. As for only talking about work, some people are just like that. When I was younger I’d want to make friends with my coworkers, now it doesn’t matter so much.

[Babygirliiw]

Thanks. Do you now only talk about work at work? Since you no longer want friends there?

[HollyK21]

Most definitely. At my current job I work with all young women, I’ve been there about 6 months and can’t say I’ve befriended any of them. Our jobs require us work independently so that makes it easier to keep to myself, do my work then go home to my real life and friends. Maintaining new friendships is exhausting.

[Babygirliiw]

I see. Thanks for sharing. Maybe this crush is the same way… he just wants to focus on work and not making friends there. I guess I can respect it. I’m younger than him a bit and have zero friends period, so maybe I’m naturally more open to meeting friends or a man at work.

[HollyK21]

Another thing to consider, and of course it may not be the case, but he could have a woman in his life he’s trying to respect, even if you don’t see it. But there’s no way to know unless you got to know him better, how does he react when you try having conversations about non work-related things?

[Babygirliiw]

I haven’t successfully gotten to bring up non work things. We don’t work in the same department and so I barely see him most of the workdays. But recently I tried to chat and he just was talking about work. And then gave me directions about work lol maybe he was trying to be helpful but I wanted to bring up another subject like small talk but oh well. Then today he didn’t say anything he only waved hello. Seems a bit distant. Thanks for the insight, he probably does have a woman. He’s hardworking and stable.

[HollyK21]

Ohhh okay, so you’re just seeing him in passing pretty much. That does make things a bit harder, because in most cases there’s probably only time to talk about work, really. You aren’t working side by side or have much opportunity to talk one on one. Yes it’s possible he has a woman in his life, but it’s also possible there just hasn’t been opportunity to chat. Hopefully you can find a moment for that in the future.

[Babygirliiw]

Thank you. Hopefully there will be a chance like that. :)
Better to have those opportunities and be certain. But until then I guess I should try to back off by not thinking about him and expecting more. Maybe just be satisfied we only wave or say hi.

I appreciate your help ♥️

[HollyK21]

Do what feels right for you! Whether that’s falling back and letting him take the lead if he’s interested or being assertive and trying again for a conversation, there’s no wrong answers in this case. Also, no worries! Good luck☺️

[bowenw]

Try to move on and not waste more time thinking about them.

[Babygirliiw]

Yeah he’s not making a move so I need to move on thanks precious

[bowenw]

You deserve someone that gives you their undivided attention and doesn't treat you like a subordinate, someone that isn't afraid to flirt and ask you out.

[Babygirliiw]

Omgsh so true. I deserve someone who actually has time and attention for me. Like you ♥️ right?

[bowenw]

Yes of course. 😂

[Billlewis]

I'd probably spoil her.

[Babygirliiw]

Why?

[Billlewis]

Because that's generally what I feel most comfortable doing for women, whether they like me, love me or hate my guts... lol

[Babygirliiw]

Are you an old fashion gentleman

[Billlewis]

I like to think so, but, the woman's pleasure, comfort and satisfaction are always more important to me than literally anything else.