I fell in love with an American/Colombian guy. He doesn’t care. What should I do?

[Rania10]

I am a local from Qatar 🇶🇦 who came to New York to study Masters and went clubbing with a friend for the first time as it’s forbidden in my religion. I wanted to experience things outside the Sharia Law for once.
I was dancing with my friend, got tired & sat down. Next to me was this American Hispanic guy who approached & added me on instagram.
I was not interested in him.
He kept saying I was very exotic looking and he is so attracted to me. He loved my big eyes and couldn’t stop touching my long black hair.
He kept adoring me & said how other guys will steal me from him. He told me that I would go back home and forget about him and go for a rich Arab guy.
He took my hand we danced. He kissed me suddenly. I was shocked because I never expected that and never let a guy physically touch me before.

He accidentally became my first kiss here in New York. I was shy & told him I didn’t wanna continue anymore as I would catch feelings.
At first he didn’t tell me he was a club promoter later I got to know he was one. I thought he was a student like me from his dressing. I didn’t mind him being club promoter. I didn’t even know what club promoter is? We communicated the whole month and finally he invited me over to his place. I spent the night at his & I said back home, girls & boys cannot be friends. I never had male friends before. He told me he didn’t see me as a friend & liked me.

The next morning I went home with his coat, it was cold and windy & I believe it’s not his coat, it fit me I’m petite & he’s tall & big. I left him messages, ever since he never opened. He viewed my stories, liked but never responded to my messages. I decided to deactivate my instagram.
A month later I activated, thought he will try to reach out to me but no response. I still have his coat.
He saw my first story then started avoiding watching also. I removed him from social media. If I meet him by accident what should I do? because I know he will ask me why I removed him?

[Mr_twoface]

Firstly, a club promoter is someone who helps to promote and market events at nightclubs, bars, and other venues that host social gatherings. The primary role is to attract customers especially ladies to events, parties, and club nights, ensuring these events are successful and well-attended.

Secondly, you don’t owe him an explanation for removing him from social media, but being cordial can prevent the situation from becoming uncomfortable. You can either smile it away or say something along the lines of "I felt it was best for me to take a step back from our interaction as I felt the communication wasn't reciprocated the way I hoped".

Thirdly, it’s important to set clear boundaries. If he tries to reinitiate contact and you are not interested, politely let him know. You could say, "I appreciate our past interactions, but I think it's best for me to move on”. Make sure to keep the interaction brief. You can be friendly without engaging in a lengthy conversation and do NOT allow him to touch your hair, flirt with him or laugh at his jokes.

Fourthly, this jerk was only after to have sex with you and usually club promoters do that often that they hook up with the girl they find attractive in the moment and/or can easily be convinced and then move on. He has clearly seen your texts but ignores you cause he is onto the next girl (until he runs into you and gives you a full-blown lie and get you into bed again).

Fifth, a piece of advice from a guy, see all men as dicks until proven otherwise. Meaning they only think with their dick and hence wants to get you in bed. Their conversations, their expressions, their emotional and sensitive touch is all about getting you in bed. Unless they spend days getting to know you, always believe they want to you for one thing only.

Sixth, another piece of advice being exposed to westernised candy is to always feel free to set boundaries that make you comfortable. It’s completely okay to say no or leave a situation where you feel uneasy and it’s important to stay aware of your surroundings and trust your instincts. If a situation doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to leave. Tell ALLWAYS someone where you are going and at whose house you are crashing at. Give details to trusted friends, housemates etc. For instance, it’s a good idea to have a safety app on your phone or share your location with a close friend when you’re out late and avoid sharing too much personal information with people you’ve just met. When meeting new people, especially from dating apps or at bars, it’s wise to meet in public places and vet them before going to more private settings. From personal experience, being raised in part a Persian culture, being exposed to alcohol can be fun and exciting and can quickly impair once judgement. Therefore, keep an eye on your drinks and make sure you NEVER leave your drinks unattended as people can easily spike your drinks.

Lastly, enjoy yourself and have a BLAST!

[Rania10]

Thank you for your kind advice. I really needed that.

[lightbulb27]

You stayed at his place and were physical or just slept there?


Promotors I've known sre marketing peolle … which means the are lie and sell.


Youve given me more appreciation for your traditional values. This guy gave you nothing of value and left you w attachment. he's really a jerk player bit in your heart the most amazing. Its sad.


I hope you find a real man of value that loves and honors you. You seserve that.

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

Seeing your reply, maybe he also felt insecure that he gave you a bad experience. Or maybe sex was just what he's only looking for.

Anyway, if I were you and I meet him by accident.. I would just go on and not care. Not even a gaze. Past is past and he ghosted you, so.. he won't get another chance. What he did was disrespectful and immature.

[avery58]

He's a player, seems he was interested in you because it seemed a challenge for him but once he had you his treatment changed. Just block him, he doesn't deserve any explanation from you after his behavior.

[avery58]

Sorry that happened to you by the way

[Rania10]

I removed him from my social media and my life. Though I’m still very heart broken. I came from a very different culture so I’m not used to people being lovey-dovey one day and become ghost the next. I’m not meant for this hook up culture that people follow here in NY. I should just be very careful next time a guy says he likes me or is into me.

[avery58]

Give your heart time to heal, meanwhile work on your goals and that will help you take your mind a bit off things

[handsomelad70]

"Exotic-looking?" Maybe I read too much into this man's wording, but it sounds to me as if he sees you as a stereotype, not a woman. I'd see his opinion of your looks as a red flag.

[RHK36]

Move on because he did. If he reengages conversation with you it'll be because he thinks you'll sleep with him.

[Anonymous]

How did it all fall apart? You don’t really explain between the details.

[Rania10]

I believe it was because of the sex. It was rough for me and he seemed to get frustrated. But he was worried about me because I was hurting. We stopped and tried again. Then the next morning he walked me to subway. We walked and talked fine and smiled. I went home and messaged him that I reached safely. He said he felt bad cuz he couldn’t Uber me. I replied I didn’t mind and was sorry for bad sexual experience. He never opened my messages. And then stopped the communication.

[Opinion Owner]

Shame on him

[Lynx122]

Well you got the club experience.

[jahaims]

Move on. Lust and infatuation isn't love

[Nahid1707]

Important you move on