Friends with benefits to lovers? ?

[Anonymous]

So this guy is my brother's best friend. Since i met him, i found him attractive. After few months, he finally texted me saying that he finds me also very attractive and interesting since the beginning.
He said, he doesn't want to ruin the friendship to my brother, so he thinks friends with benefits would be good for us (but we have to keep it a secret). If we start a relationship , he is afraid of losing his best friend if we broke up.
I'm not sure, because I really like him und would like to have a relationship. What should i do? Can he fall in love with me if we are friends with benefits?

He will fall in love

No, he will not

[Anonymous]

He’s full of shit. He’s trying to fool you. He just wants sex and your brother is not the reason he won’t get into a relationship with you. That’s just an excuse. It would be equally complicated when a friends with benefits situation goes bad and also, there’s a reason he says you need to keep it a secret and that reason is he knows your brother would be upset if he knew and their friendship at danger. Guys don’t sleep with or have friends with benefits situations with their best friends sisters. This guy knows that but doesn’t care that he’d risk losing his friend when he finds out. So him saying he can’t have a relationship with you because he’d risk losing your brother as a friens is nothing but bullshit. He’s a fake friend and he’s trying to fool you. I’d even tell my brother about it.

[hildegain]

You might want to read what she typed out again before saying "He's full of shit". He hasn't lied to her at all.

That said. "It's just an excuse" is pretty funny to me. Guys, generally, don't feel very confident about having relationships with their friends' family.

You actually sabotaged your own argument more than once here.

"there’s a reason he says you need to keep it a secret"
"he knows your brother would be upset if he knew"
"your brother is not the reason he won’t get into a relationship with you."

You have made a lot of assumptions but you've also sabotaged your own argument. I would honestly just simply suggest that you never enter into a friends with benefits situation if you're hoping for a real relationship. EVER.

I wouldn't trust your judgement on someone's character, either.

[Anonymous]

He's up front with you that what he wants is friends with benefits. That means he wants sex. It doesn't mean that he wants sex DESPITE wanting to be friends with benefits because that's what friends with benefits MEANS.

You either enter into a relationship like that willingly because that's what you also want... or you don't. If you're looking for more than an friends with benefits relationship. Then don't.

Don't treat him any differently than any other guy who would suggest this to you. If you're looking for sex, then go for it. If you're not, then don't. If you want more than sex, then hold out for someone who is willing to actually date you.

It really is that simple. Do SOME friends with benefits relationships end up with the couple in question getting together for real? Sure. Is that likely? No.

[spartan55]

No chance. You already give him free 🥧 pie. Why would he want to mess that up?

[dfdfdffffdfdf]

he's only looking for sex , if he can't get it from u , he will try to get it from someone else

[hildegain]

Obviously. That's what friends with benefits means. He's pretty up front about that.