Is it okay for a boyfriend to look at other women in front of you?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend on several occasions has looked at other women in front of me. They are long stares. I've told him how this makes me feel but he told me that all men do this, and that it means nothing. He has told me that he is attracted to me and that looking in the direction of other women does not mean I am less attractive. I really don't know what to do.

[DishLady]

He sounds like a creep.

Honestly, I've walked with my guy -- who glanced at other women -- understanding that a guy with eyes in his skull cannot help himself. I even teased him a little one or two times. For me, that's not a problem. It's the same as when I see a pretty flower in a garden and glance at it... It makes the person happy for a moment and passes.

But I've also walked alongside a rude guy who turned to look and comment on women and THAT was not ok.

So there's a difference.

[OlderAndWiser]

He views this conflict as a disagreement and is trying to win with logic, while your response is emotional, not intellectual. This is a big disconnect.

He is right, but you are also right. Making a relationship work is not about being right and convincing your partner that they are wrong. That attitude demonstrates competition, not cooperation and caring.

[Asker]

yes I am very upset because I thought I could marry him but I can’t get over this

[OlderAndWiser]

I will admit that I occasionally see a woman who I think is very attractive, and sometimes that happens when I am with my wife. However, I don't ogle, gawk, or stare at the woman and I make no effort to communicate with her in any way. My wife is not jealous when this happens, but. . . if she told me it caused her to be upset, I would make more effort to control my behavior.

[emma55]

Tbh I feel like is not okay specially if it makes you uncomfortable. For example last time I was at the store & there was a couple & the guy just kept staring at me. It was obvious that the girl was mad & uncomfortable but he didn’t care. That’s insulting, even I felt bad for the girl.

[Skyros]

Only as long as he doesn’t get caught. Really, the right answer is no it isn’t ok. It’s not respectful.

[Asker]

thank you for your response. I really don't know how I can get over this type of behavior. Yesterday I bought a new dress, makeup and looked very dolled up and with that one stare that happened I just wanted to go home. I dont know if its self confidence I need to gain or if this behavior is something that can be tolerated.

[Anonymous]

I try really hard not to stare in general, but especially when I'm with my girl. He's right when he says it doesn't mean he thinks you're less attractive, though.

[Fanfare690]

Do it back to him but with men

[leahzrc]

see how he likes it when it happens to him