How to deal with 16 year olds sexually harassing me as a 26 year old?

Question

I work at a tuxedo place. During the prom time we get a lot of teens coming in for fittings and I notice it’s always so awkward. The ones from schools in the city are respectful but the ones from private schools are straight up disrespectful, making comments about my ass and flirting with me. Why do they do this? I can’t really say anything because most of them have rich parents who’ve been customers for decades and frankly sounds dumb to say an underaged boy is sexually harassing me…

RavVid · Accepted Answer

Flirting isn't harassment but making sexual comments is.

When women started cursing men for opening doors for them, basic respectful courtesies between the genders were killed off. So there was nothing to inhibit making comments on tits and ass after respectfulness was slung in the bin.

Asking a 16 year old if he would like his mother to know what he says and decline to serve him further if he does not apologize. An obvious glance at his crotch with a comment "Not much there" would humiliate. You will need to talk to the owner or manager and get buy in of course.

The real punishment with a 16 yo is to embarrass him in front of his peers. So split the group in a way that causes his friends to laugh and jeer at him. Effectively these boys are trying to big note themselves among their peers. That's the reason.

The final resort, and only control we do have in life, is how we view the world. You can view this as boys being over-sexed young boys. Or be highly offended. It is possible to choose what is the best emotional view to take of an event and it is a skill worth developing.

Chazmatazz269 · Accepted Answer

It IS dumb. Sexual harassment is a crime, in part, of power. As the adult, YOU have more power than the child does. If their parents subvert your power because you react accordingly, you have solid grounds for a lawsuit. If a kid acts up, kick him or her out of the store and tell them they can come back when they learn to practice manners. If the parents come in, tell them the same.

SphynxUK · Accepted Answer

I would ask the parent in on the fitting or say something in front of them so they are aware of what’s going on. Or tell your boss. Or ask the child how they’d feel
If this was their sister being spoken to like that while they’re at work.
You are the adult and you’re in control. Stop, glare and put them in their place respectfully and if they don’t buck up, refuse to assist.

sheikalana · Accepted Answer

You don't need to literally say they're sexually harassing you be firm and tell them you're a married woman (even if you're not) and do not appreciate those type of comments. You should also address this issue to your manager and tell them how this makes you feel uncomfortable. Disrespect is not okay.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

You can refuse to serve them if they are making remarks of a sexual nature. As for feeling dumb for reporting it.. I suggest the opposite is true.. It is dumb NOT to report it.

I wouldn't take it to the parents though.. No, I would report it RIGHT to the very top at the school.. If you told them their students were coming in and sexually abusing you? They would CRUCIFY them for bringing their name into disrepute!

Bricealan · Answer

You certainly have a manager, and if he or she had any balls, that would not happen.

Consider this... if some stupid asshole makes a comment to you about your ass, you should slap the assholes face, and call the police and file a criminal complaint that the bastard sexually harassed you openly.

You have to stand up for yourself, and don't let some punk ass son of a bitch abuse you.

Loner111 · Answer

Sounds like you can either find another job, or dress less provacatively. You're probably wearing tight pants that make them want to squash your ass.

Try wearing looser pants and a looser top.

See how that changes the way people treat you.

Just a thought...

Anonymous · Answer

Tackle it from the spiritual realm. Bind all and any sexual comments and unwanted attention in the name of Jesus right now and command it never to return. Command, decree and declare that no weapon formed against thee shall prosper and claim the promises and protection of Psalm 91 over yourself. Then armor yourself with the full armor of God and plead the blood around you and the area in which you work.

MacDaddyRico · Answer

Get it on video, and if the manager doesn't ban/trespass them from the store, talk to a lawyer.
Your workplace should not condone this behavior, no matter who their parents are.
Parents should discipline their kids or risk losing some of that money in lawsuits.

abc3643 · Answer

The SAME EXACT REASON THAT DONALD TRUMP IS AN ASSHOLE. They have no respect for regular people. "Only little people pay taxes" - Leona Helmsley, the Queen of Mean. She wasn't talking about dwarves.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I think you should say something to their parents next time they are in. Just leave your phone on record and play it back to them. At least give them the chance to do something about it.

Nik1hil · Answer

Keep surveillance camera nearby and mic on you in your work place record everything. Send the recording to their parents !. And Sue their father to encourage their child minor to harrassment of you.

PositiveNote · Answer

Oh shoot! You just need to develop some really good come backs.  Feel free to send me some of their remarks and I’ll give you some good ideas to put them in their place!

dustybiker2 · Answer

As others said documenting is the best thing. It can save a lot of hassle should things need to escalate to reporting. The store should install cameras with audio for employee safety then.

HelpfulWoman · Answer

different job if you can. i doubt there's anything you could do to deter them unless you called them out directly,

AviatorTom · Answer

Just ignore them. They're teens and teens do weird things. If you show no reaction, they will quickly lose interest.

DishLady · Answer

Just report it to the manager and tell them they’re not allowed in the store anymore.

Kelley1 · Answer

Sticks and stones may break your bones but words shall never hurt you. Therefore, ignore it.

LordMadara · Answer

maaaaaan use stupid 😂😂😂 suck it pal, your fantasy doesn't add up to real life

Sevenpointfive · Answer

that's sexual harassment and you don't have to take it. call the police, then call your boss.

leahzrc · Answer

just make nasty faces at them or act disgusted. it works for me

Anonymous · Answer

Sue the store for not protecting you from sexual harassment.

Yannae · Answer

Get the manager involved. Rich or not. If you don't act right, you get kicked out.

Peetopico · Answer

Tell them that this is not a correct way to interact with people in public. Jeez! These rich parent idiots always raise spoiled children! Come on! What the hell is this?

Anonymous · Answer

I wonder what the argument for "power imbalances" are gonna be

DiegoO · Answer

In that case you gotta report it to your superior.

Anonymous · Answer

Tell them a less restrained women might turn them into either a landowner or a soprano

CrabCakes11 · Answer

Immediately ban them from the store

stvigor · Answer

Tell them your an hermaphrodite

Anonymous · Answer

Tell them that you don't date boys.

SotiCoto · Answer

Pepper spray.

jahaims · Answer

Report them

emgl99 · Answer

Do not reciprocate.

How to deal with 16 year olds sexually harassing me as a 26 year old?

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