Breaking a taboo, does anyone else experience sexual harassment from women?

Question

Its a very tough topic to talk about but I (26 M) sometimes do experience sexual harassment.

!! Before going further I do acknowledge that girls experience this from men as well and I do not want to deny this, I merely want to open up the conversation that it can go both ways!!

But when I talk about it with my friends they usually laugh it off because I'm a guy and specially female friends are like yeah I really doubt its close to what I'm experiencing.

Now with small stuff I'm not too bothered, like a girl when shouts like take me home with you when I'm out is kinda funny and easy to brush off. Although there are things that go too far. One example is that when I arrive at a gym I have girls staring at me and aggressively trying to take a peek when I'm changing clothes (it has subsides since I go there once or twice a day now and I'm quite a regular). This stuff does creep me out.

Also sometimes when I walk in jogging pants or something loose some girl will randomly grab my ass. This only happened twice in the last year but this really does cross a line.

The worst part is though that there is no right way to respond as a guy, if I get angry at her people will think im being aggressive to a helpless woman, and if I tell the truth people just stare in disbelief because I'm a man.

Now I will be honest that it's not the scariest thing to me since I don't go to clubs and I only drink water so getting something slipped in my drink is nearly impossible. I'm also physically stronger then 99% of other people I meet (men and women). But I worry since I have a girlfriend and we are extreemly prude with these things.

I wanted to ask for guys, have you ever experienced this and how do you deal with this? And for girls do you think this happens to guys and have you done it in the past?

And more importantly how to open up this conversation?

ergjam · Accepted Answer

I'm disabled & grew up in various Government Homes for Disabled Children & was hospitalised many times for months each time.

There wasn't any privacy or dignity given to residents (except the girls).

We lived in large 50+ bed open dormitories. Anyone & everyone could & would walk through the dorms while all the residents were getting dressed or being dressed. Nurses, orderlies, physiotherapists, 18yo interns & even 16yo work experience girls from the high schools would all be watching. Add to that, the dorm was also the entrance to the rest of the centre. So other staff secretaries, clerks, kitchen staff, laundry staff, cleaning staff, etc... would all be walking through. They would often stop to talk to a resident or some staff member while I was naked trying to get dressed.

The boys showers had an open door policy. If you tried to close the door the staff would come & open it again, asking why it was closed, then demand I keep it open.

The female administration staff would often bring VIP guests through for an inspection. Even if you were showering at the time or getting treatment on my groin. I (13) would be standing naked in the shower area, while a bunch of people would walk in. The admin staff would talk about us as if we were objects & ask how we liked the place, how we were coping.

While I (15) was in hospital the nurse would be giving me a sponge bath, because I had staples in my stomach, tube in my penis & stomach, as well as an IV tube. The female ward clerk would walk in to my curtained off area to give the nurse a message & stay to talk about her recent holiday.

Another time I (15) had a shower in my private ensuite & the nurse was walking me back to my bed, still naked, because of the staples & tubes. A young girl (13) in a private school uniform pushing a wheelchair full of magazines & newspapers walks into my room. Wanting to deliver some magazines I had ordered. The girl says she requires payment immediately. I ask her to come back later. She says no. So the nurse just invites the girl to stay & watch, while I slowly walk, naked, to my bed. The nurse just leaves me standing naked by my bed, so she can attend an emergency. The girl has a big smile on her face, I'm totally humiliated & the nurse just couldn't care less.

Peter_Penetrator · Accepted Answer

I was in college and 22 years old. There was a woman in her late 30’s and she kept flirting with me. Actually she was trying to get me to fuck her. Anyway, after being nice and putting up with her, l finally lost my shit. I didn’t get physically violent with her but my voice level and tone made the entire class and instructor take notice. After that she left me alone.

I will add this. I know how women feel when a guy makes unwanted advances towards them. This experience above is not the only time l have had this happen.

Men, are you comfortable enough in your masculinity to admit when homosexual men have hit on you by getting into your personal space (less than arms length)? They try to saddle right up next to you.

One of the ways that women will flirt with men and give us an invitation to move to physical touching is to get into our personal space. Yes, sometimes a woman isn’t attracted to you when this happens so pay attention to when and where it happens. Sometimes it happens at the wrong time and in a situation where they can’t help it. But, if they are interacting with you and things are going good and they are interested they will. If they aren’t interested then they will keep their distance.

Anemone978 · Accepted Answer

I never sexually harassed anyone but when I was working with a friend I did slap his ass once, I don't know why but I just did it and then ran away LOL He didn't mind because we were friends and he wanted to have sex with me but he had a girlfriend so I wasn't for it :/
Anyways I haven't really experienced sexual harassment except for in high school because guys are perverted lol and once a man was following me while I was out at night I was waiting for my sister but she was talking for like 15 minutes to someone inside so I was just gonna leave and walk home but this older guy was staring at me so I walked one way and he followed me on the sidewalk and I was like looking at him with the side of my eye then I walked back and he followed me again and was staring at me.. then some lady in a car pulled up beside me and said that guy is staring at you do you want a ride home but I was like nah my sister is in the store, she is like okay be safe.. and then my sister walked out and we started walking towards the guy and as we passed him I was like he was staring at me the whole time you were in the store.. and he walked away and went the other way but I told her to run because he was creepy just in case he followed us..

petitedollbabee · Accepted Answer

Sexual harassment should ALWAYS be taken seriously whether it’s from a man or a woman. People who laugh or say stupid things like “I wish that would happen to me”, they really have no idea do they? I see it too often, especially when stories about teachers grooming students surface. If the teacher is female then you see so many guys saying “I wish my teacher did that”. I’ve had male friends and ex’s who’ve been assaulted and worse by women, but they feel as if they can’t speak up about it because other guys will tell them that they’re “lucky” and that they shouldn’t complain. That’s disgusting. The justice system also tends to favour female predators over male predators, and let them off with lighter punishments. My heart goes out to all of the boys and men whom the justice system has failed simply because the person harming them was a woman.

Anonymous · Answer

While true that this happens less often to men that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen nor downplays the seriousness of it. Far from it.

A few years ago I had a woman give me a veiled threat of a false rape accusation because I turned her down for sex. I had to be extremely nice to her out of extreme paranoia/fear (which was insanely unfair bs). Also had to protect myself by saving all my text messages and telling a friend the entire story the next day after the incident. My mind kept fast forwarding to the nightmare scenario of her making good on her threat. Thankfully that didn’t happen. However that incident really did happen to me.

Female on male sexual harassment/assault is taken less seriously in society simply because men are usually physically stronger and it’s mechanically very difficult (but not impossible) for a man to have the erection necessary to give the woman what she wants.

But woman are not harmless. They can use manipulation and threats to coerce men into sexual activity against their will.

I also think men are often much more caught off guard when dealing with harassment. Not as used to it. Also it’s supposed to be a “compliment” to the man or something that he is so attractive that women can’t control herself around him.

Jbear27 · Answer

I’m a 43 year old man and It happens all the time to me. It’s part of the reason I don’t go out anymore. I constantly have women buy me drinks and randomly sit on my lap and say inappropriate things. Most guys tell me they would kill to be in my position with women but it does bother me. I am recently divorced after 20 years and found my ex cheating. So overly flirtatious women I see as red flags and turn me off big time. I’m not in a relationship and my girl sees this behavior when we go out together and somehow she gets upset at me as if I’m inviting it which is super frustrating. I make little to no eye contact with women and try to keep to keep to myself. Which maybe is what’s interesting about me since most of these young women are used to being hit on non stop. Anyhow it does happen to men and there is an imbalance in how people think men and women should respond to it. Sucks but it is what it is.

mandyfire98 · Answer

It absolutely exists both ways. The issue is that most times guys just except it and they'd rather joke about it instead of putting a stop to it. They don't see what other guys say and do to women as being sexual harassment so when it happens to them it's "no big deal" when it absolutely is a big deal because it's something that can be fostered and supported until it's out off control. We all know what's appropriate and inappropriate and it's important to shut that down immediately. So that nobody is harassing anyone. It heeds to be snuffed out on both sides. People shouldn't be able to do and say whatever they want whenever they want.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

When I was in college I had two bosses who would only schedule me with them when they were doing night shifts, then they'd get super inappropriate after we locked the doors for the night. When I was deployed there were always women just coming up and putting hands on you, saying stuff that would never pass in the civilian world. Even in D. C. where I work now, coworkers will find a reason to put their hands on you, so if that's the sort of thing that bothers you those are going to be places you want to avoid working.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, at work. Twice. Women are more subtle, at least in an office setting. It's flirty stuff. Sitting on my desk. Coming by my cube with her shirt unbuttoned down to their bra. Twirling her hair. Bringing me coffee, lunch. Telling me she was thinking of me before going to bed. In extreme cases, they'll buy me gifts.

In the first circumstance, I tried to handle it privately and she reported me to HR.

In the second circumstance, I notified HR before handling it privately.

In both cases, everyone in the office said I was a "stud" and it wasn't fair.

In both cases, the women quit their jobs after rejection.

I'm married, by the way. First case was single. Second case was a married woman.

patrick994 · Answer

When I was about 21 years old. I was driving my car when a woman, approximately 45 years old and seemingly seeking directions, approached me.

Her questions quickly took an inappropriate turn, alluding to entirely different matters than those related to directions. To better understand the situation, I stepped out of the car. It was at this point that the woman began behaving in a harassing manner, lifting her sweater to expose her chest and then lunging at me, touching me inappropriately.

Frightened by this assault, I reacted defensively by delivering a very strong kick to her shin when she fell to the ground. I quickly got back into my car and managed to escape the situation, immediately reporting the incident to the authorities.

This episode has had a significant impact on me.

Starrrboy · Answer

Yeah I get catcalled sometimes, and women just don't believe in something called personal space when they're around me lol.. they do it and then look me in the eyes waiting for me to acknowledge them and introduce myself or something lol.. it's weird because it's done by both younger and older women and the fact that I live in a pretty conservative country.. but I'm gonna be honest man.. it's not the same when you're a guy.. the power dynamics are still pretty obvious so it's not degrading.. I mean for example, last time..5'2 woman who got super close and slightly touched my arm and smiled.. who's really in control? me!.. she's just kinda flaunting herself.. I'm not saying it's good / perfectly normal.. it's still crossing boundaries.. I'm just saying it's not as bad as when the roles are reversed.. and you know the rule.. if she's attractive ( luckily that's usually the case lol ) then you can just brush it off no cap..

Pohjolan · Answer

I have thought about it as cockteasing but maybe it was sexual harassment as well.

love_conquers_lust · Answer

Ass grabbed by unknown entity while standing in line for lunch.

Plant accountant outright asked me if I was a “Beta” with a big smile on her face. I had no idea what the hell she was talking about as I was fresh out of school.

Or women making inappropriate sexual comments implying I fuck lots of women.

It happens. Not frequent or severe enough for me to care or worry about. I’ve had a strong enough constitution to deal with it without escalation.

Fuentes · Answer

Yeah when I worked at a call center it happen all the time and most female bosses have this attraction to me I find it annoying to have a female boss, I prefer men bosses because females do that weirdo emotional ish and then think because they LIKE you, you must like them or else lol

SeaStorm1 · Answer

yep is can happnen. is happen verbal with frienship that i ended with one women in college and did try foce me to have friendship i said no each time and walk away and got mad me for not wanting to me friends. happen after i broke up one ex boyfriend that was a cheater.

Belgie · Answer

I worked for a woman who was ugly as fuck and sexually aggressive. She threw herself at young guys and if they said anything she'd laugh it off as her being one of the lads. Horrible woman.

ManOnFire · Answer

I have experienced forms of it from women before, both physically and verbally. Both weren't good, but I didn't really feel a need to report it or anything.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

I’ve been on the receiving end of the harassment multiple times from multiple women. If it’s not from coworkers, then it’s from women who got some sort of authority over you. Some women just can’t take no for answer at all

zagor · Answer

I haven't experienced it, but I did see a news video on TV where this guy was in a 7-11 type store and two women came in and were groping him, like grabbing his crotch and such. I think he filed charges.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

Both harassment and assault. The assault ones were the ones that caught me off guard because I didn't expect it and how brazen they were.

worldscolide · Answer

I have been on the receiving end.. I have also suffered domestic abuse at the hands of women.. Two things that women everywhere say simply does not happen.

Billlewis · Answer

Not unless you count them making fun of me for not getting any pussy... lol

ChooChooHaha · Answer

Yeah, I was harassed on the job by a woman. I left the following day.

Anonymous · Answer

I think most men would be flattered by a hot girl doing that to them. And won't mind. Plus sure no one will take ur complaint seriously because u r a man. U can defend urself. A 5 foot tall girl won't be able to rape u.

Breaking a taboo, does anyone else experience sexual harassment from women?

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Breaking a taboo, does anyone else experience sexual harassment from women?

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