Does he have feelings? Is he just playing me?

[Juiceboxbrat]

So my friends with benefits originally told me that he didn't want to date. Then he sends me this, "Also yes, that was quite the weekend and quite the story. And yeah, just the time we got to spend talking and cuddling in bed and the hike was equal if not way better than any sex. Not that that wasn't most certainly amazing either" and then proceeds to buy me dinner, drive and pick me up, and tells people at the bar that we are having a date night. He hasn't made any effort to ask me out. Now, we only hang out one day a week he stays over we do something fun, hook up then he leaves. Throughout the week he blows my phone up and calls me when he gets off work. But doesn't reach out to make plans during the week. What is happening? Is he interested in dating now?

Updates

1 y

Were also Exs. We dated a year ago and I'm honestly getting a completely different man. When we dated, he never bought me anything, took me out but gave me the same together time.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm this does seem kinda confusing, sis! On the one hand, this dude is saying and doing a lot of coupley things with you - telling people you're on a date, buying dinner, spending quality time talking and cuddling. That sounds like feelings to me!

But then his actions are also very friends with benefits - only hanging out one day a week, no mid-week plans, not actually asking you out officially. It's like he wants the perks of dating without the commitment. Not cool on his part to leave you hanging like that!

My best guess is he caught feelings again being with you lately, but is still wary from how things ended before. So he's falling back on old friends with benefits habits even though his heart's not fully in it anymore.

I'd say it's time for a little chat. Calmly let him know the mixed signals are confusing, and ask where he sees things going - does he want something real or not? Stand up for what you want sis! If he can't give you clarity, maybe it's best to take a real break this time. You deserve someone all in! Keep me posted how it goes.

[Angie03]

Sounds like he’s playing you or he’s afraid to show that Side.

[spartan55]

No, he's not. He told you that.

[spartan55]

And how can he be playing you? You are an friends with benefits... you understand that, right?

[Juiceboxbrat]

We're friends with benefits yes. But why do all this emotional manipulation shit. Why does he call me his but refuses to be called mine? Why does he do all these boyfriend things, NOW, vs when we were dating?

[spartan55]

Because he can do it for free which you agreed to for some reason.

[Juiceboxbrat]

I agreed cause he's putting more effort in now vs when we were dating. And plus he's moving to another country in a few months. So I know that might be playing into the not dating factor.

[spartan55]

Keep telling yourself that. Sure, he's putting in more effort. Doesn't mean he wants any sort of committed relationship with you.