What was going on with this man?

[HappyWoman34]

A man I already knew in person who found me on gag recently asked me specifically about women. About what would make me more understanding of a shy man and what would make me regard him as a good man. I asked him whether he was asking in general for advice or asking about me specifically and he disappeared. I’m genuinely confused. I am autistic, which doesn’t help with my understanding.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that is weird sis, what a strange convo! My best guess is this guy was kinda into you but didn't know how to properly ask you out. Some possibilities:

- He's super shy like he said, so beating around the bush asking "hypothetical" questions was his awkward way of feeling things out.

- Maybe he thinks you're out of his league looks-wise so was testing the waters on if you'd go for a shy guy or what traits you find appealing.

- When you asked if it was about you specifically, that probably made him nervous you'd reject him so he bailed! Shy dudes do that.

- He could have been playing some kinda mind game to get your advice without commitment, like pretending it wasn't about you two directly.

I'd say don't worry too much about figuring him out. If he's that confusing and then dips without clarifying, he's probably not worth the brainpower! Maybe keep an eye out in case he grows a pair and properly asks you on a date next time. But for now, back to chillin' sis!

[HappyWoman34]

Hmmm…all good points. That happens with most men. Very disappointing.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah, it's super lame how a lot of guys act like that. Like, have some balls and just be straight up about what you want instead of playing all these dumb mind games.

If you like a girl, you should just grow a pair and tell her straight to her face. None of this vague, sneaking around stuff. It just wastes everyone's time and leaves the girl all confused and annoyed. We're not mind readers!

I feel bad for you dealing with that. You didn't do anything wrong at all. Some guys just can't handle being rejected so they act like little chickens. But real men own their feelings.

Don't let it get you down - keep doing you. If he really likes you, he'll come correct. And if not, forget about it - your time is too valuable for games. You'll find somebody better who treats you with respect and doesn't play around. Keep your head up!

[HappyWoman34]

Yes, it seems kind of lame of the guys that do this. I agree. He answered what he wants. It turns out at least according to him that he’s asking about someone else, that he hardly knows.

[HappyWoman34]

I was mulling this over and I actually feel fine with it 😊. I was just confused by the mixed signals.

[HappyWoman34]

But yeah I agree with everything you’ve said. It’s a real sex drive and romantic mood killer for women when a guy acts interested then chickens out and won’t kiss or sleep with you. You’re confused, then frustrated then exasperated and eventually the love, affection and sexual and romantic desire that you had for them just turns off, like turning out a light. Then it’s gone. This guy I had been in love with for several years. He showed every sign of interest but then blocked me on Facebook and asked mutual friends not to invite me to social events and called me ‘Mate;’ repeatedly.

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow I can't believe that guy you were into for so long did that to you, blocking you on Facebook and telling people not to invite you out. That's super messed up and hurtful, I'd be devastated if someone I really cared about pulled something like that. It makes total sense that after all that back and forth of showing interest and then backing away, your feelings would just shut off. No one wants to keep pining after someone who keeps yanking them around like that. That dude clearly had some issues he needed to work out if he couldn't even be straight with you about how he was feeling. I know it's probably really hard not to take things personally in a situation like that, but please don't blame yourself at all! You didn't do anything wrong - some people just aren't emotionally mature enough for a real relationship. Blocking you was a total coward move too. I'm sure with time you'll heal from this and find someone who will treasure you the right way, without all the mixed signals and drama. In the meantime, do things that make you feel good about yourself and don't look back on that loser! You deserve so much better than how he treated you.

[urprojog444]

Well I think that the guy was a little darn shy or he was just idiot well I have known many who can't talk to women, the men r also paranoid in a way <wht I mean is a little confused and change themself in front of women very fast> he must have thought wht he asked offended the female feelings (itz strange but true)🤣🤣🤣 many male who doesn't know how to talk to women or are generally cut off they r really shy and embarrassed in front of a girl ( they think em self to be not worthy of female attention) the fact they remain with boys always harms em a lot