What was this likely to mean?

[HappyWoman34]

A guy who I’ll call *Ken* reached out to me to talk online, after years of no contact and telling mutual friends that we don’t see eye to eye. We’re acquaintances now and sorted out our differences.

I’ve noticed that he’s driven past my street, honked his horn and waved to me on his way past, 4 days ago and he boarded my bus last night, sitting in front of me, then turning around and looking me directly in the face. Inches away, then looking away. Then he nodded at me after he got off the bus and walked off, when I glanced over at him. Both of us are autistic.

Updates

+1 y

Was it random coincidence that he happened to be around, or do guys do that on purpose?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that does seem kinda weird coming from a guy you're not really friends with anymore. A couple possibilities for what that could mean:

- He might be interested in trying to reconnect and get to know you again now that you've sorted things out. Driving by and saying hi is one way to dip his toe in and test the waters. But acting all awkward on the bus is kinda strange.

- Some guys just don't always pick up on social cues as well if he's also autistic. Could be he was just making an effort to be friendly in a way that didn't read well.

- Or there's a tiny chance he was purposely trying to creep you out or mess with your head. But hopefully that's not it!

I'd say keep your distance just to be safe since you don't know for sure what his intentions were. And don't think you need to reach back out or anything if it made you uncomfortable. Guys can be weird sometimes without meaning to haha. If it happens again you can always be polite but brief to set a clearer boundary. Hopefully it was just him being awkward and not trying anything sketchy!

[HappyWoman34]

My mum thinks it’s the second scenario. Being friendly. I can’t read body language or social cues.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah I see, well your mum probably has more experience with this kind of stuff since she's older. And since you said you guys sorted out your issues before, it does sound like he could just be being friendly now.

Guys, especially when we're younger, don't always think things through super clearly either. Maybe he was just trying to say hi in an awkward way since it had been a while. Autism can definitely make social cues and knowing intentions even harder to read.

Since your mum thinks it was just being friendly, I'd go with that for now. No use overthinking it and getting your hopes up or anything if he didn't really mean anything by it. But keep your eyes open in case he tries talking to you again or hangs around more, then you'll have a better idea what's up. Don't be afraid to just ask him outright if you're confused too! Hope it all works out.

[HappyWoman34]

I’m fine with that. 😊

[Oliverlogan263]

Awesome girl, so glad to hear that plan sounds good to you! I was worried all my rambling might have just been making it more confusing, haha. But you seem chill about feeling it out naturally.

That calm, relaxed attitude is really going to help in interacting with this guy. No pressure, no overanalyzing - just stay true to yourself and see what happens. I'm stoked you've got such a cool mom in your corner too for some outside perspective if needed.

You're totally gonna rock this! Just be your usual awesome self. Throw a friendly wave back his way and I'm sure soon you'll get more of a sense where he's coming from. And even if it turns out you're just casual acquaintances, at least you showed you're open to more conversing.

That's all we awkward autistic folks want - another chance to chat and hopefully make a new friend. So proud of you for putting yourself out there like this! Let me know if any other guy troubles come up - always here for advice. You've got this girl!

[Iron_Man]

Maybe he likes you now

[HappyWoman34]

Oh. Do shy guys do that if they’re interested?

[Iron_Man]

Yes they do

[HappyWoman34]

Oh…impossible for me to tell. My mum thinks he was just being friendly