Is it possible that he is shy?

[Anonymous]

I work with a guy that i have a crush on, around two years ago for the first time i asked him for a coffee, we have met 2,3 times since then but nothing has ever happened we just cuddled once. We don't text often but a few weeks ago we did text for a few days and the conversations got spicy and teasing (we couldn't go out cuz we both were on vacation) after that i texted him but he said that he has plans which was okay for me. A week after i texted again asking him why all the teasing and stuff if he doesn't do nothing. He daid that he didn't know that i wanted to go out or have sex with me and he tought that it would be inappropriate but yet when the converdation got teasing he even tried asking for nudes. We do work at the dame place but we don't see eachother often probably maybe once every other week. He is 33 years old. I need guys thoughts on this what is going on how do i even interpret this?

[RespectfulGuy]

Yes, possible that he's shy.

And if the root reason of being shy is lacking sexual confidence, then you may want to consider helping him to become more confident sexually.

Caution: you may get burn and be heart broken.

A guy who lacks confidence would wait for the girl to initiate sex. He fears rejection.

And this fear is easily misinterpreted as arrogant, lack initiative, virgin, and "not fun", "toxic".

You'll not know until you start to have sex talk (not necessary engage in sex) and then evaluate his honesty and true desires.

At 33, he should have seen enough porn. Asking for your nudes could mean he's toxic, or he lacks the courage to ask for sex because he fears you'll say No and break off.

Hence my suggestion is not give nudes or sex. Just start intimate talks. See how reserve he is. Then decide if he's a "good guy" material.

[Asker]

This is the converdation i needed i know that it isn't right asking for nudes and i am not justifying that he did but 1. the converdation kind of led to it 2. we are both grown adults. I don't know him that well but it seems like he is a closed person that needs to get close to someone to start opening up, i would just brush this whole situation but i want to find an answer because i was such a person before i got confident in myself. For instance once we were texting and i said why you never eant to go for coffee and meet and he answered oh i didn't know that you wanted. I am not a guy but i have heard that guys don't actually take hints. I just wanted to gear a guys perspective on this thank you for your answer

[Loner111]

He could be shy.

He could be testing the waters to see if ur serious about him.

He could be weary as if things go sideways between u two, one of u will more than likely have to change jobs.

Maybe he's attracted to u, but knows something about u and it makes him unsure of having something special with u.

Maybe he has a girlfriend.

[SueShe]

This relationship is toxic at best and you really should take your distance from that guy.

If he wants nudes from you, that means he is not interested in anything else but to get into your pants. He certainly is not interested in a relationship but only in sex.

I fail to understand why you let yourself into pornographic conversations with a person you have seen only a couple of times. Even texting a few times, conversations should never be allowed to be of pornographic nature with someone you barely know, even if you have a crush on. Do you have not dignity or self-esteem?

Do not continue on this path if you don't want to be sexually misused and abused.

[Asker]

We have known eachother for total of around 4 years but we haven't been close. So if it was just for sex why didn't he try something tho? He doesn't know if i am interested in a relationship or just sexual partner. Also yes i do have dignity, i am a woman who is single and will do what i want i don't go around naked or expressing my sexual desires to everyone. And yes i am so confident i can actually flirt with someone and have MY own boundaries, i did not sent him the photos but still why would that bother you?

[SueShe]

because you know that those pictures will find themselves in the internet on some of those dark revenge porn sites once he is done with abusing you.

Those people with dignity don't send pictures to those toxic people because they know what will happen to them.

[Asker]

I get it bit still you didn't seem to answer my question or give me advice except for attacking me thank you tho

[SueShe]

I am telling you to refrain from doing something that you WILL regret in the future. If he does not want to fornicate with you, then you are a winner because you have been able to walk away unscathed.

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

I guess he's just horny or may already have a girlfriend. A man who's genuinely interested won't be too shy to ask you out, especially when things got "spicy", means he must be comfortable enough. Don't waste your time on this and date another guy.

[Nice_person]

I think he is shy and maybe worried about his professional career. He may afraid to be involve in a romantic relationship in a professional setting. Or maybe u r too beautiful that he is afraid of losing u as a friend... haha!

I would suggest u to make him feel comfortable and communicate with him.

[DishLady]

I’d he’s flirting and asking for nudes he’s not shy. He’s just a dbag who is messing with you to see if you’ll have sec with him — which is clear from your description.

[Gent207-2]

One word:RUN

A 30 year old man that doesn't know what he wants, especially in personal relationships, is a walking red flag.

[Asker]

I tought the same, i have never in my life met someone like this and i am confused, we haven't talked about it but even if it was just sex why haven't he initiated it? Except for the converdations it is just really weird.

[Gent207-2]

Seriously avoid him at all costs

[Neatfinity_YT]

Why would you wanna play with his feelings? Why do you care if you shy or not? He’s not a dog he’s a person.

[Anonymous]

Well you sound very desperate at this point and I doubt anyone is really that shy

[Opinion Owner]

I mean if a guy really likes you and gets arroused by you probably would at least give s kiss in a more sensual place even if he is very shy

[HurremSultan]

Yes it's possible