Why don't a lot of the guys on here get that just because you CAN stare at a woman creepily doesn't mean you SHOULD do that?

[Still-alive]

So there's been a number of times on here where a woman will say something to the effect of 'It's ok to look but NOT stare!' and then guys will come around and say 'its my RIGHT to stare so i will do as i please.'

And i roll my eyes every time. To those dudes on here we are not talking about your RIGHTS or what you legally can or can't do when a woman says this. She is talking about 'acceptable' vs 'unacceptable' behavior. and if you leer at a woman it's considered RUDE. yeah you CAN do that as in legally you have every right to do so, but it is RUDE to do so. there's a difference between something being illegal and something being rude (but legal).

For instance its also legal to openly and audibly fart around strangers, spit on the ground right in front of people, chew with your mouth open around people... and guess what? Those things if you do them you are considered a RUDE person for doing it.

Leering at a woman sexually you don't know is also rude... and also creepy too. So please Try your hardest not to be rude please.

If you're confused by the difference between glancing vs staring here you go:

Glancing

Staring

Nuff said!

Rant over

Anything you guys would like to add?

I agree

I disagree

I'm a rude guy and will stare at women as i damn please!

Updates

1 y

I think i may have blocked most of the creeps on here but jic there's a few I haven’t im already prepared for the ‘simp harder’ replies lol. Every single time!

[CrazyGirl2]

I have to say that as a moderately, attractive, young woman, I get more than my fair share of leering and staring, mostly my breasts, second mostly at my ass, and every now and then there's that special unique fellow who just stares right of my crotch! Men and women are SO different in the way we view sex, sexuality, and especially attraction. I just don't think a guy could understand how uncomfortable it makes us when men stare at our body parts. For me, it makes me feel like despite having a 151 IQ, despite graduating high school in two years (with honors), and despite graduating college in two years three months… The only thing they could possibly think that I would be good for, is making them cum! That's not just upsetting, it's heartbreaking! The thing is, attractive girls, know that we are attractive to adult men by the time we're 12 or 13. Precisely because they stare at us! I've seen guys stare at me, and even though they were really cute, and I kind of liked them before I noticed them staring at me, when they asked me out, I would find an excuse to say no, because they were staring at me!

Lee won my heart precisely because he didn't stare at me, he didn't comment on my appearance, or compliment me on my looks (because I had nothing to do with the way I look, that's 100% my parents genetics! So how is that a compliment to me?) No, Lee made fun of the economics book I was reading, when, he walked past me, he said "I didn't know you were taking Econ”. When I told him I wasn't, and that I was just reading the book for entertainment. He made fun of me and the most hilarious and unique way possible. I couldn't possibly do it justice here. But he made me laugh! He didn't tell me any corny jokes, he didn't "try" to make me laugh, he just genuinely made me laugh! Given that I just recently broken up with my ex-boyfriend, not long before that, I wasn't in a good mood, but Lee put me in a good mood! And I remember thinking "this is the kind of guy I could marry!” (I never would have told hime that, but still) THAT is how you win an attractive woman's heart! Just treat her like a human being, don't mention her looks, and just be yourself, if YOU are a good man, and being yourself shows that goodness, there is NO need to “big-up" yourself!

I truly hope that did not sound arrogant or self-serving. It certainly was not meant that way.

Laura 🥰 🤗

[Caroline91]

That IS super creepy. I'm q pretty confident woman, but that would have me running for the hills... lol. One of the thinks I really dislike is the blatant up-and-down sweep followed by a stare or a leer... from a stranger. I'm gonna turn my back on that one every time.

[Caroline91]

*things not thinks

[goaded]

Check out any question on here regarding nakedness in appropriate places (like nude beaches, etc.). There will be examples of that sort of thinking. They don't understand the difference between someone being undressed and them being undressed *for you*.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

That's scary honestly. I hope they don't visit nude beaches, that'd go horribly wrong for them if they think it's the place to pick up women.

[CrazyGirl2]

OMG! That is SUCH an excellent observation! (not that I've ever been to a nude beach!) But I did have friends who I discovered were nudists, when they asked if I would mind if they would be naked around me while I was at their house. Given that I was about 15 at the time…. I just told them "I think you should probably talk to my parents about that.!” They never did! But… I did sunbath nude in their backyard. I actually liked it. it was private, they had a big chunk of land, with no neighbors that could see from the upper floors, and it was really nice. A couple of weeks, maybe a month later I asked my parents if they would mind if I sunbath nude in the backyard. of course the answer was "absolutely not young lady, what do you think this is? A French beach? But after my mom spoke to me and asked why., and I told her because I have multiple bathing suits unless I wear them in a very specific order I tan lines, followed by red sunburn “lines”. So my parents bought me some partitions, and I was able to sunbathe nude in the backyard. I didn't do it much and once I had a base tan, I preferred the tanning salon. However, if I were on a nude beach, and some guy was just leering at me, or God forbid trying to hit on me… I think I would just leave, and never go back! And it's a shame that one guy who doesn't understand boundaries could ruin it for someone else! I absolutely love what you wrote at the end, "they don't understand the difference between somebody being undressed, and them being undressed *for you.*! Absolutely brilliant observation @goaded

Thanks, Laura 🤗 🥰

[goaded]

@CrazyGirl2 Thank you! Always a nice conversation.

In the years I've been going to German saunas, there was one time some Muslim men came in wearing their swimming costumes, obviously looking for a peep show. They were told to take them off or leave in short order, and they left.

[CrazyGirl2]

I’m confused as to why their religion is relavent, but perhaps it was just a cultural misunderstanding? Either way, “Some guys came in wearing bathing suits” would have conveyed the same information. w/o the accidental negative connotation. (Just an observation)

Thank you too, sweetie. I always enjoy a conversation with you. hun.
I’m glad you didn't have to be there with men in bathing suits, who were more than likely just there for the show, I certainly agree with you there! That would likely have made everyone there uncomfortable! The nerve of some people! 🙄

Sincerely, Laura 🤗 🥰

[goaded]

@CrazyGirl2 I was in two minds about including that information. It is the culture thing. They'd have been welcome if they'd simply taken off their swimming costumes like everyone else.

[CrazyGirl2]

I’m sure they would. Thank you for a wonderful conversation as always

Laura 🤗 🥰

[DrPepper12]

There is a selfish sense of entitlement mixed with a misogynistic sense of ownership of a female body that permeates too many males. I agree. Glance and move on. I shit you not one of my students yearbook quote was "My eyes are up here".

[DishLady]

I don't know if all guys stare with creepy intentions. I thank you for stating the problem so clearly, @Still-alive, and I appreciate the nature of the problem when it's unwanted attention or intentional leering. The staring IS rude.

Having said this, there are some cases in which a guy isn't intentionally staring to be rude... he's just distracted by the person he finds attractive... and it's important to note that intention is a major component of the issue here, not just the physical act of staring.

[IslaTheWitch]

I don't get it... what is wrong with staring? even creepily... staring doesn't hurt...

if I don't like it I move or turn my rear end to the guy :D

[Still-alive]

well we all established long ago you aren't like most other girls lol.

but i totally get why its very uncomfortable. and rude.

[IslaTheWitch]

shit... and again don't fit...

[ClaircognizantEmpath]

Hi, not so much for me now lol but my daughter is 18 and she literally dies inside when it happens to her, she always sais why do they do it, its the staring locked on her.. which note to guys, is felt as predatory behaviour...

[PA19062024]

"Literally" dies? Literally?

[Apple1996]

I think those men purposefully wanna be creepy because it's the only thing that gives them power

[Still-alive]

Yeah I suspect that too. They totally know the difference i just laid out but pretend not to in order to justify their behavior.

[Apple1996]

Yep they know better but choose to creep because they get a rise out of it

[mandyfire98]

It's not simping if you're just being a decent guy who has empathy and sympathy for other humans. Which you always do. That makes you a good person.

[Still-alive]

Some dude called me that yesterday. I just blocked and deleted his answer

[mandyfire98]

Of course, you either join his side of treating women like garbage or he'll call you a simp. Guess which one women like more? You. If that's being a simp, having women like you then being a simp is the best thing that you should be. Let him be a forever lonely incel.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

I think some men just choose to be rude and don't care if they're being creepy or not.

[Still-alive]

Yup. Just justifying their bad behavior

[Wiredone]

I totally agree. It's ok to take a look at a woman but don't scare her and make her uncomfortable by staring. Have a little respect for her

[Yannae]

Chanhe "stare" to "dm inappropriate stuff" and you've got it down.

[Still-alive]

Yeah that too.

[LiamJHayden]

I suspect that a lot of the guys on here have not actually been with a woman, so the mystery overwhelms them.

[Caroline91]

@LiamJHayden Perhaps sweet on the surface, but still the ICK factor reigns in the mind of the female recipient of such adoration!

[adventurous-1]

sometimes its unintentional such as when a guy is lost in thought or focused on something else and a girl might think its her he looking at but in reality he isn't even noticing her. Its just his gaze is in her direction.

[Caroline91]

I think that’s a good point and something women should be aware of.

[MrDaveAPSI]

I guess I'm sort of answering my own question here, but, how do i know if I'm "staring creepily".

[Still-alive]

just don't stare period would be best. string is usually rude in most instances.

[CrabCakes11]

It’s because they don’t understand the concept of decency or self respect

[OddBeMe]

I’ve had many women stare at me creepily. Usually because my cat just beat up her cat.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

Creeps just wanna remain creeps.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I agree with you