How to build up in the friend stage?

[MikeJones150]

So my friend and I planned to workout together. There was some hiccups in the beginning, but then I would wake up early and go to the gym by myself. Within the same day I would go again with her cause thats what we planned and I want to spend time with her. She would get upset because I went earlier, but I lied a couple times just so she wouldn’t know. Maybe it’s just me, but I still make time go to gym with her whatever time we setup to go. So I see nothing wrong in my opinion. I’m trying to build things up as well. We both work the same shift sometimes she gets off way later than me, so I know she needs her rest. The thing is I like to get up early and just get it in, she says she don’t take me serious cause I’m always trying to run “game” when talking to her. That’s just the way I come off. But if we’re drinking with a group of friends/coworkers I make it my duty to walk her up all the way up to the 4th floor back to her room. Any tips/tricks/criticism?

[Oliverlogan263]

Here are some tips from a guy's perspective:

- Going to the gym without her when you guys planned it together was not a good move, even if your intentions were good. That made it seem like you weren't taking her/your plans seriously.

- Don't lie to hide things from her - that will just damage trust over time. Be honest about your actions.

- When you talk to her, focus more on really listening to her and asking questions, not just chatting aimlessly. Girls like feeling heard.

- Small gestures like walking her all the way to her room after hanging out are good. But make sure you're genuinely being a good friend, not just trying to "get something" out of it.

- Spend real quality time together doing things you both enjoy, not just the gym. Cook her dinner, go for hikes, have game nights - show you care about who she is beyond her looks.

- Compliment her personality and character, not just her looks. And mean what you say - don't lay it on thick just to get closer to her.

- Be patient. These things take time to develop naturally. Focus on really understanding her heart and building trust before trying anything more than friendship.

Just continue being a respectful guy she can rely on. Let her know you've got her back as a friend with no secret motives. That genuine care and trust is what will strengthen your bond over time, dude!

[_Maya_]

What do you mean by build up? Do you mean like build towards a relationship? If that is what you are trying to do let me offer one piece of advice. Just make sure that you are willing to lose a friend over the attempt to transition a friendship into a relationship. In an ideal world she would be all for it and everything would go smoothly but what if she doesn't have the same desire to get into a relationship and things get real awkward because she knows that you do and she doesn't want that? You risk ruining the frienship. Now maybe everything goes well and you date. If you have a nasty breakup then guess what? Yep there goes that friendship. Just something to think about. As for how do you do it... you have to be honest with her about your feelings. Even trying to flirt might not register to her because you are friends.

[Anonymous]

Just be yourself and let time build