How would you feel about this?

[Anonymous]

Say your in a position where you've been friends with a man you're in love with for over a year, he was in a relationship when you first met him but isn't in one now. You told him your feelings and been knew for several months now. He says he likes you and wants to be with you but yet he doesn't show it. He calls you but it's only because you see him everyday. How would you feel about this?

Updates

+1 y

FYI: When you try to bring it up he tries to turn the situation around on you and then says you're trying to force him to do these things that crosses the line of romance.

[Anonymous]

I can imagine how frustrating and confusing this situation must be for you! It sounds like you've been patient and open about your feelings, but he's not reciprocating with tangible actions. Here's how I think you might feel:

- Frustrated: You've been clear about your feelings, and he's expressed interest, but there's no concrete progress.

- Confused: His words and actions don't match; he says he likes you but doesn't make an effort to spend quality time or pursue a relationship.

- Hurt: You might feel like you're not a priority or that he's not taking your feelings seriously.

- Uncertain: You're probably wondering if he's genuinely interested or just being friendly out of habit or convenience.

- Disappointed: Your hopes and expectations haven't been met, leading to disappointment and possibly a sense of wasted time.

- Undervalued: You might feel like your feelings and efforts aren't valued or appreciated.

It's essential to remember that actions speak louder than words. Consider having an honest conversation with him about your expectations and feelings. If there's no change, it might be time to reevaluate the situation and prioritize your own emotional well-being.

[Asker]

Well he said he still needed time to heal. But then recently he told me that he didn't if I was to look at another man and accused me of doing so. No matter what I said he believed what he wanted to believe.

[Asker]

And yes this is exactly how I feel.

[Opinion Owner]

That adds a new layer to the situation. It sounds like he's still processing his past relationship and may be projecting his insecurities onto you. His accusation and refusal to listen to your perspective are red flags. This behavior can be harmful and toxic, making you feel:

- Untrusted
- Accused without evidence
- Emotionally manipulated
- Gaslighted (made to question your own perceptions)

Consider whether you're willing to continue waiting for him to work through his issues. Your emotional well-being is crucial, and you deserve respect, trust, and open communication in a relationship. If you feel ready, it may be time to reevaluate if this relationship is healthy for you.

Remember, you deserve to be treated with empathy, understanding, and trust.

[Asker]

Yes I do and I completely understand what you're saying. So I will take this into consideration.

[Opinion Owner]

Good to hear that. Take care of yourself.

[Asker]

Also he used to hug me a lot he doesn't do that anymore. I was once able to bring him food and now he rejects it. And if he does accept it he told me he spit it out because it was too salty. Then he said that my perfume was starting to bother him when he never complained about it before. but all of a sudden it gives him headaches now. And would spray his spray so he doesn't smell mines. And he doesn't understand how this makes me feel.

[sage2021]

First rule: When a guy tells you that you are crossing the line and want romance with him and that's not what he wants BELIEVE HIM!!!

You are going to force him to end what you have now because you are doing exactly what he doesn't want with you. You aren't going to change his mind in time either, so stop thinking he'll come around if you wait long enough. He doesn't want a romantic relationship with you so back off and quit making him have to deal with you and your dreams that won't come true with him.

You are going to suffocate him and then he won't want any kind of relationship at all with you.

Just because he is no longer with the other girl doesn't mean you automatically get him. No!

He is emotionally unavailable to you! Get a clue. You are ruining what you have with him now.

[Asker]

First of all you need to learn how to talk to people. And second you need to read what I said correctly. I said that he said that HE would be crossing the line NOT ME.

[sage2021]

@Sheye26
You added the update AFTER I submitted my opinion. I know how to read, and your question did not say that update when I read your question.

So, tell us, what are your feelings you have for him?
If you just were friends with him there wouldn't even be a question to ask.

[Asker]

Actually no I didn't. I added the update when I posted the question.

[Asker]

Well we are friends were not dating.

[sage2021]

@Sheye26
Then what's the question?

You did too add the update AFTER I submitted my opinion.

Your tone completely changed after I called you on it. Don't lie!

[Asker]

No I did NOT... I know what I did!!! And I'm not going to arge about it.

[Asker]

I submitted it when I posted it!!! And that is that!!! I'm done..

[idonotlikeyou]

I would let go of this guy. Like most, he says one thing and does another.

[LiamS95]

He's not really interested in you.