Guys is it ok to message if you haven't been responding?

[coxoabean]

There is a boy I have been talking to he used to message me. We would talk a little bit. He would message me every morning on his own. He would flirt a bit. Every time I responded to him, he always read my message then waited a bit like at least 20 minutes to 3 hours to respond... Now he has left me on read for 2 days, the first day I thought maybe he was busy. Then the 2nd I sent a message apologizing for if I said something. Now today, I posted on my story and he has looked at it and my profile.. yet continues to not respond. Guys do you think It would be ok if I sent him a message asking him If I did something or said something that caused him to not want to chat anymore? How should I ask him why he isn't responding

[Anonymous]

Yes that's fine. I have a rule that I'll message a woman once. Then after that I'm done. One missed message can be forgiven. After that it's most likely deliberate. And I think it's good you're seeing if there was a miscommunication. Just don't grovel.

[coxoabean]

Ok, thank you for the opinion! Maybe should I just ask him if there was anything I may have done or said to cause him to stop replying? Or what do you think is the best way to say it?

[Opinion Owner]

No I think that's perfect. Straight to the point, no games!

[spartan55]

You aren't putting in any effort, that's why.

[coxoabean]

Oh, wdym putting in any effort? Like he was the only flirting and messaging and I wasn't?

[spartan55]

Yep..

[coxoabean]

I can see what you mean now looking back. He was the one making flirtatious comments and I in no way really either aknowleged them or just didn't say anything flirtatious back. At one point he asked if I had a boyfriend and I told him no, but that there were a few guys who had been wanting to talk to me. I didn't think about the fact maybe I shouldn't tell him that, but he didn't respond to me at all the rest of the day, then the next day told me gm again and we talked until we got onto why my parents wouldn't allow me to leave my house alone. My parents reasons are bc of guys trying to talk to me and I told him that, but I was just being honest in my opinion but he could have taken it the wrong way.

[coxoabean]

After telling him that tho the second time, is when he has ignored me now. I meant no harm at all by it. I was just trying to explain to him my parents reasons for their rule. He had also made a joke telling me I could move in with him and I responded "ya right lol" but I guess bc Of how I had been acting he may think I meant my "ya right" in a mean way. I feel really bad now bc I do think he's really attractive and liked talking to him, I just didn't flirt back bc I didn't want to scare him away. I was nervous bc I thought he was cute and didn't want to mess anything up. But now I probably did :( any idea on how I could possibly fix this?

[spartan55]

You wouldn't have scared him away... he was flirting with you first! That makes no sense.

[coxoabean]

I mean I just wasn't sure if flirting back would've made me look bad. I hardly talk to boys so I don't know how to do things, plus I'm shy

[spartan55]

What's this about you can't leave the house without your parents?

[coxoabean]

No, I can't but that doesn't really have much to do with me talking to him. Other than the fact I haven't really had much chance to learn how to talk to guys and stuff

[DishLady]

NO. Stop it... Don't chase a guy who is not responding to you... Why would you do that to yourself?

[coxoabean]

Well, I'm not sure if maybe I did something to cause him to stop though. When he would flirt and stuff I showed no interest really I don't think. Maybe that's why

[DishLady]

Ok, but you now sent your message to him. There’s no need to go on and on about it with him. Let him do what he’s going to do. If he chooses to flirt again THEN you can try flirting back, ok?

[RetroReviews]

@coxoabean I agree with @DishLady you've sent a message and he's read it so it's his turn to reply if you send another one that makes you look desperate don't lower yourself to that you're better than that

[sage2021]

So, is this someone you were private messaging back and forth with here on GaG?

[coxoabean]

No, we talk on something else.

[sage2021]

I wouldn't message him. Nope, nope, and nope.
Leave him alone
Give him time to miss you and then maybe you will hear from him.
Sometimes people don't tell the other person they are messaging back and forth with that they are at work, or busy doing a project. They think we can just see with ESP what they are doing. You know, see through the walls, down all the streets and you should automatically know what they are doing and why they aren't messaging you back as fast as you are.
Lack of communication plays a big part when it comes to messaging.

I think some guys do it just to screw with you. It's mean but some do it anyway.

[coxoabean]

I understand. I was just worried I may have done something to cause him to not want to message. He had been flirtatious a bit and now thinking about it, I didn't really acknowledge it or anything. So I don't know if maybe I made him feel bad, or I don't know. I just wanted to know if There could be a good way to ask him if I did something. But I understand what your saying

[sage2021]

@coxoabean
We can be our own worst enemy at times.

I am like you in that way. If I don't hear from someone after a certain period of time, I automatically blame myself
Or if someone is in a bad mood around me, I wonder if I did or said something to cause it.
I don't know what he said to you that you didn't acknowledge but he was probably wanting you to agree, or give your opinion about it. But silence can be very deafening when you want to hear from someone to say something and they don't say anything. I mean, what was he supposed to do with that?
So, it could be what you are saying. Ok, if you want to message him and try to find out if it's your fault, then ask him.
I hope it works out for you 🌺

[ryanbas]

If you ask me, I expect sometimes I am initiating conversation and other times she is doing. I find it hard after a few times if she doesn't initiate texting. It means she is not that much interested as I am. So I highly recommend you should also text sometimes.

[PeachyPie93]

Never ever double text. A guy who doesn't respond is just ignoring you. If he doesn't respond in a day he isn't interested, move on. It's not love from his side.

[Fireguy17]

once in a while like a couple 2 3 times a week yes, 30 times a day, no.

[coxoabean]

Yaa, I haven't messaged him since Saturday

[Fireguy17]

That seems fine.
If he doesn't answer back you pretty much have your answer.

[coxoabean]

Ok, I think I'll wait a week, so now till Friday. Then that way to avoid coming off as desperate to him if I did message too soon

[Jennz6]

Tell the young man to say “later” , so that you know he isn’t there.

[coxoabean]

What do you mean?

[Jennz6]

@coxoabean if I say “Later” or TTY later, you know that I’m not here but doing something else

[coxoabean]

Oh ya.

[noohair]

The rules for social media are weird. I don't live my life on social media anyway. It is fake interaction. Face to face is the way to go.

[coxoabean]

I understand but we can't really see face to face

[noohair]

Why?

[coxoabean]

Bc He lives somewhere else

[nawtee_me]

If he didn’t read the one why would he read a second? Just asking….

[coxoabean]

He's left me on read, so he did read it, he's just not responding for some reason. We were fine and everything he was even being a bit flirtatious, but just hasn't responded

[RavVid]

I would say he has moved on and there isn't much point.

[Staximus]

Just let stupid people be stupid and don't think too much about it. It's not your fault, "you can't fix stupid"

[Universaldance]

best answer yet… some people haven't yet developed enough social skills to write back with clear boundaries or intentions but thats beyond me

[Dark_boy]

My account has been deleted. can you send a message again

[Yannae]

Totally okay, I'll read it when I can.

[truckgod92]

He might not care tbh.