Why would he want to only if I do?

[Anonymous]

A guy I went on a date with and had sex with wants to try something, I asked if he wants to try it with me and he replied “only if you want to”.

normally men don’t say that, it’s a yes or no question. Why only if I want to?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that is kinda weird for a guy to respond like that. A few thoughts on why he might have said "only if you want to":

- He's trying to be respectful of your boundaries and not pressure you into anything you're not comfortable with. Doesn't want to come across pushy.

- Maybe the thing he suggested is more dominating or kinky, and he wants to make sure you're into it before agreeing himself. Wants an enthusiastic yes from you.

- Possibly the act isn't his favorite and he'd only do it to please you, but doesn't want to do it just for his own sake.

- Could be playing mind games a bit, making you wonder what he really wants so you pursue him more. Leaving it open-ended gets you thinking.

- Maybe has some hesitation/insecurity himself about the thing and saying "only if you want to" takes the pressure off of him having to perform.

Hard to know for sure! I'd say ask him more directly what's up if it's bugging you. Or you could flirtily play along and get him to admit what he's really after. Either way, proceed cautiously if it seems off. Trust your gut!

[meepmeeperton]

Wants to try something? Like something new in bed? He’s probably trying to be respectful and make it clear that he would only do it with your consent.

In reality this kind of langue seems passive and is a turn off for most women.

[DishLady]

He's doing the respectful consensual sex thing.

[spartan55]

He's just playing it safe. Very annoying though.

[jahaims]

You are over thinking a simple reply