If he stopped texting or looking for me does it he has someone else?

[Anonymous]

Well he kept saying that he’s always initiated the conversation.
“If I don’t call or text you first , you never do it first”

“you’re just calling me right now because I ignored you and you just want to have me there” he was laughing 🫤 so I hang up.

I think that’s just an excuse to cut me off from his life because he’s texting someone else. I mean we almost had 3 months talking and he used to called me or text me a lot. I guess I just have to delete his number. It’s been a week and he hasn’t text me. He’s done this before using the same excuse that he’s just testing me. Bullshit. This time I feel I have to let him go.

[Lliam]

I assume that he didn't think you were very interested or putting in much effort.
If you're interested in someone, you have to show it.

What's so great about you, anyway? That's a sincere question. I'm not trying to judge you or be mean. But what would make you worth pursuing for three months with no progress at all? Guys need validation, too.

You're not the only fish in the sea. Since there didn't seem to be much a potential in chasing you, he probably went on looking for other girls who were actually interested in dating.

For me, three months of texting with no progress would be a drag. I would figure she wasn't interested.

On my first date with my future wife, we arranged to meet at a restaurant. She was engaging and our conversation flowed effortlessly. Time few by until we realized that the restaurant was closed.

We walked to our cars in the restaurant parking lot and continued chatting. When we were ready to leave, we found that someone had locked the gate and we couldn't get out. So I hopped over the 6' cider block wall and got someone from the restaurant to let us out.

At that point, she stepped close, looked up into my eyes, put her hands on the tops of my shoulders, rose up on her tip toes with her body pressed against mine, and gave me a tender, lingering kiss.

Two days later, she called. I was surprised to hear from her. She said a friend had offered her two tickets to see the Rolling Stones and Red Hot Chili Peppers and wondered it I was interested. Of course I was interested!

I picked her up on the day of the concert. On the way in, she slipped her little hand trustingly into mine. We had a great time at the concert. When I dropped her off at her place afterward, we got into some serious kissing.

We started dating exclusively after that.

My point is, I admired her courage and initiative in calling me and offering that second date. It told me that she was seriously interested in me. She went after what she wanted.

[spartan55]

And she was NOT coming off as desperate either.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Was he right in that you never contacted him first? If it was, I could see how his response was justified!

[Asker]

Yes I never do and when I do I ask him first but he says he doesn’t want me to ask him permission he just want the call like he calls me without permission

[TommyMountainFigure]

From his point of view he wanted you to be spontaneous, where as you liked to call him when you knew he had time to talk and wasn't busy.. ?

Does that all sound about right?

[DishLady]

When a guy complains that he's always initiating -- which is, in fact the romantic and gentlemanly thing to do for your girl -- then he's most likely losing steam or interest... or he's just plain lazy af.

Now with making fun of you for calling he's trying to turn the tables and make things embarrassing for you. Classic move. He should go take a flying f and you should move on.

You shouldn't be caring WHO ELSE he is or isn't keeping in his life. He's not respecting YOU. Period. Drop this guy. Find someone who respects you.

[Asker]

Thank you! Do you recommend me to disappear from social media a little bit or continue like he’s not important? I will ignore him as much as possible. What if he calls?

[DishLady]

Do whatever you like. You can ignore or block him. YOU haven't done anything wrong here.

If he calls NOW after all this nonsense you explain that you don't like drama. He wants to play games that's not your thing.

[oreodair]

It sounds like, he wants you to chase him a little bit. Even if he is talking to someone else, you aren't together so it's not that deep. You should be keeping your options open also; don't over-prioritize someone who can go a week without texting you. He is keeping you around but you may not be a priority. You can let him go if you feel he is not giving you enough attention.

[Asker]

He just sent me a text. He only ghosts me for 5 days. Should I ignore him?

[oreodair]

What does the text say? If it’s a boring “hey” or “wyd” I would personally not respond. He will text you again even if you don’t.

[Asker]

He sent me one on instagram and the other a photo on WhatsApp probably what his eating. He never sends wyd or short greetings. Always what he’s eating on his lunch break or a funny reel on insta to get my attention because I cook and I like memes. 🥹 I don’t want to look easy.

[DishLady]

Ignore this guy... He thinks way too highly of himself.

[oreodair]

If you like him, looking easy isn’t a concern because it’s okay to be easy for people you like. You could, reply, then pull back and do not respond for a few days to increase the chances of him double texting or whatever.

[spartan55]

Women giving women some lousy advice here.

[oreodair]

@spartan55 How is it lousy? Please explain.

[spartan55]

@oreodair
Playing games with the guy for what? What has he done besides calling OP out for doing absolutely nothing to keep things moving forward?

[spartan55]

@oreodair
So since she NEVER texts him then he isn't a priority to her right?

[Asker]

Dude I just texted him because of you and he ignored me. He did sent me his lunch food and a funny reel on insta. See? I just confessed my love and he’s acting like a bitch. I love him by the way. 😂😂😂 omg I don’t know why with this guy I don’t feel embarrassed after feeling ignored because he did put efforts these past 3 months but it’s like he won’t believe me when I tell him I like him or chase him. He does think he’s all that trust me but I don’t know how to not feel like I’m bothering him. I told him I miss him and he’s just looking at my stories ignoring my message. See who’s playing?

[spartan55]

Looking at your stories means nothing.

[Asker]

I know. So he doesn’t care right?

[spartan55]

I wouldn't waste much more time on him.

[Asker]

See? I was right. I just sent him a peaceful message to end this. It hurts so much but don’t always defend men. Not everyone cares women or men. Anyways. It’s not the first or last time I will get hurt. Bye

[spartan55]

I don't always defend men, if you followed my opinions you would know that. I wrote my opinion based mainly on information YOU provided. 👍

[spartan55]

No, it means he is tired of zero effort from you... you aren't even self-aware enough to see that.

[Asker]

So… now what? He sent me a text 🥹 after 5 days and I want to talk to him but this is the third time we stop talking. The first time was because he said if I stop texting you, you don’t care if I’m alive, the second one because I called him the wrong name by accident, and this because I called him and he was laughing because he said I’m only looking for him because see he ignored me. So…should I reply or wait 😩

[spartan55]

Wow, you are completely clueless.

[Asker]

So? I only had a guy for 9 years. I don’t know how to date. Just tell me something short.

[spartan55]

He has been telling you in a pretty direct way that he wants to see some effort from you. This IS NOT about chasing, which is a stupid concept in dating. Do you understand what I mean by effort?