Why do guys always love to hurt women with good intentions?

[Anonymous]

Why? Why don’t they have genuine feelings?
Why do I have to be mean for people to like me? Why? I’m a good person who loves to laugh help animals and people but I always end up getting hurt. This is why I don’t chase people I don’t initiate conversations first I don’t. I’m not that ugly and I’ve seen other girls who are like me getting better treatment. Right now I’m hurt because the guy I like ask me why I don’t look for him or why am I not sensitive but when I do they’re always rejecting me. I just ended this stupid game. I even texted my ex guy to get an advice and he was like if you want to come I’m available until 8:30 like I’m an option. I was like bitch I wanted an advice just like I helped you in the past. He thinks because he’s extremely attractive he can go around acting like a model. Omg I feel so stupid right now. I’m crying and the guy who begged me to look for him is probably having fun.

[Staximus]

Initiating conversations is not chasing somebody. You're never going to meet a good guy sitting there silently like a bump on a log. That's dumb. Are you going to wait forever for the right guy until you're 97? Or settle and get stuck with the wrong guy because you denied yourself the ability to choose and let the guy choose you? You choose the guy you want, but you need to learn how to choose the right one. You obviously don't know how to pick a good guy.

[blueonblack22]

If you read into the details about how she confronts issues with guys then you can see she’s definitely part of the problem.

Not dismissing her pain/frustration/issues. But she’s definitely the type that believes “two wrongs makes a right”. That sh*tty thinking sends out negative vibes that people can pick up on. She’s inviting problems into her own life.

I am guessing she had a very rough childhood. Takes one to know one on that. But she’s got to stop telling herself that’s its “okay” to burn over unrelated men to get “even” with other men who have burned her in the past. That’s a huge part of her problem.

[ProbablyClueless]

It's about choosing who to invest time and energy into

[DishLady]

WOAH…. First of all, you’re either a psycho or you’re hanging with the wing people … or both. Make sure your new circle of friends includes a reliable therapist.


To claim that ALL people, guys or girls are X is illogical. Period.


Guys who look for ways to hurt a girl are simply dbags. That’s not a standard for ALL guys or for good men in general.

[HawkPerception]

Thank you!

[Nikki1989]

It is human nature for many people, male or female.

[MisterWack]

I never like hurting people with good intentions.
If a woman’s intentions were good then I’d apologize if I hurt her in a moment of confusion.

[blueonblack22]

Men and women will never fully comprehend each other. I am not downplaying your frustration/pain.

But just about:

I even texted my ex guy to get an advice and he was like if you want to come I’m available until 8:30 like I’m an option.

Okay: 1) why are you texting your ex? 2) why are you asking him of all people for support/advice when it comes to other men? Why? What makes you think it’s okay to do that?

Your exe’s response to your text actually was very appropriate. Do you know why? Because you insulted him first by asking for advice by complaining about another man to him. You are literally treating him like another woman. Again he felt disrespected so that’s why he insulted you back.

Know this loud and clear: when a man is interested in a woman or had a romantic past with her the last thing he EVER wants to hear from her is issues/problems with other men. It’s very insulting to him that you think you’re entitled to have his shoulder to cry on.

That’s why he responded that way. He’s telling you he isn’t your counselor.

[Asker]

You’re right. Except that fact that my ex situationship only wanted sex that’s why I felt like asking him for advice and using him like he used me. He never had genuine feelings towards me. He was nice before I ghosted him. Once I ghosted him he showed me he’s true feelings like treating me like I’m an option. I clearly told him I’m ghosting you because I don’t want to feel like a prostitute. He told me I day things like he doesn’t have feelings and he ended up proving me right. Now he treats me like I’m nothing like I bet he felt since the beginning

[blueonblack22]

So let’s see here:

1) Instead of communicating like a grown adult about where you stand you instead decided to ghost your ex. You could have been straight up about where you stood. You could have even texted him how you felt THEN ghosted/blocked him. At least then he would know where he really stands. Not justifying how he treated you but he most likely had NO IDEA how much you disliked the “sex only situationship”.

2) You held a grudge against your ex and you felt like it was okay to insult him back by reaching out to him with friendzone bs (in the most insulting way possible). You did this AFTER ghosting him too. So he was already angry/confused that you went MIA. Why should you be surprised by how he responded? I don’t blame him for responding that way at all considering you ghosted him earlier.

[blueonblack22]

You literally believe that dating is a zero sum game, don’t you? You believe that “two wrongs make a right”, right? Sure you have had guys do sh*tty things to you. But you are doing sh*tty things as well. You are NOT a victim. No. With your mindset you are bringing this negativity on yourself because again you see this all as zero sum game. My team vs your team.

You are definitely acting like a “modern” woman. But your feelings are NOT a “your truth”. There is no “your truth” or “my truth” only the “THE truth”.

I confess I briefly was like this in my late 20s. I got burned by so many women in my late teens and early/mid 20/ for being a “nice guy”. So I self justified being a player and being selfish to women for a brief time.

I got “my half” a few times but I also got burned even worse from other women in the process. Then it dawned on me one day that I was part of the problem. Also it dawned on me how sh*tty it is to burn over someone to “get even” at an unrelated person in the past. Not all women are the same. But right now you believe all men are the same, don’t you?

When I got in my 30s I would call women out on their bs. If they acted like it was no big deal or worse tried to gaslight me then I would them “best of luck”. Adios. But I left knowing I was the mature one. Self respecting adult.

Next time a man disrespects you (whether he intended to or not) put your big pants on and CALL HIM OUT ON IT. He might not even realize he’s doing wrong. But depending how he responds to you will verify if he respects your or not. If he owns up and genuinely apologizes that is one thing. But if he acts like it’s no big deal THEN you can ghost him.

But you need to QUIT EXPECTING MEN TO READ YOUR MIND. Just quit it.

[Lynx122]

You're chasing a guy who's not into you why are you taking it out us? The guy you like doesn't like you and you're ex is extremey attractive so he had a lot of options and wasn't as invested in you. That's all. You say you don't chase people but you're only with guys where you're more interested in them than they are in you. Maybe just think about your priorities for a bit before you write angry posts.

And what are your good intentions exactly? To date guys who a lot of other women want too? That's what most women do. You're acting like you're so noble for liking a guy who's good looking or something. You need to calm down and look at reality clearly.

[IslaTheWitch]

in general, they do only what you let them do to you...

and it always starts with you... with your self-acceptance, self-love, self-respect... and if you are comfortable and confident in yourself... no one would even try to hurt you...

[Anonymous]

Look. People get hurt especially good people. Don’t become the monster you’re fighting. But only waiting on other people a lot of times could be the problem. You’re limiting your options. Keep in mind good dudes who get a lot of attention. Many times aren’t having to approach especially not random women. Unless all they want is sex…

If you want a genuine relationship pray and pray hard. Nobody is perfect. But there is good genuine people who have a lot to offer, so do you. Let these bad individuals find some pathetic little girl who will make them as miserable as they deserve.

[Defaultusername123]

When guys don't see girls as wife material, they might see them as girlfriend material girlfriends potentially are wife material but it's unlikely especially if you're liberal, and if you weren't seen as potential wife material or even long-term girlfriend material then it's really unlikely that the guy will care about your emotions intent or the like either because he doesn't trust you doesn't trust your friends your family. There's a number of other reasons but first impressions matter to both sexes.

[Crazzyyworld]

Because women are supposed to be obedient. I mean women don’t know how world works either. Weather the intention is good or bad it’s not going to work

[Billlewis]

The idea that women should be obedient may be the popular opinion today, but I firmly believe that the opposite is true -- men should be subservient to the women whom they serve. Anytime I'm serving a strong, beautiful, demanding woman, I always obey her every command at the snap of her fingers.

[noohair]

Men used to have to make a commitment to a woman for sex. It was usually courtship and marriage. Women wanted freedom and equality. This is what freedom and equality looks like.

[OhLongJohnsoning]

Why did my cousins ex wife, cheat on him?

People, all people, can't full 100% be trusted, ever. Always question people

[Anonymous]

I've only had genuine feelings once, and I got eviscerated as a result.

[jahaims]

Guys you interact with. That isn't all or even most men. Pick better men.

[In_Trance]

For the same reason women hurt men with good intentions

[Anonymous]

For the same reason women love to hurt guys with good intentions.

[spartan55]

Your picker is broken.

[paledreams]

Men are dodgy buggers hahaha ♂️♂️♂️

[paledreams]

And some masuclinised women 😬

[paledreams]

*masculine

[Danny_dan92]

You’re fucking with the wrong guys

[handsomelad70]

They're being pr*cks !!!

[SkatPak392]

shoulda chose an urkel instead of a fuckboy.

[SpeedAnswerDemon]

what