Is he just using me?

[Anonymous]

I’ve had a crush on a friend who is in the middle of a separation so he says and he deff wants to have sex with me but doesn’t know when he will be done with the mess he’s in. He doesn’t want to text me cause the phone is under her name and he’s afraid what she would do if she found out… now should I believe they are really separated and or does he only want to have sex or because he’s been so honest and vocal about everything does he possibly like me too. I do really like him. I’m deff afraid of getting hurt.

[spartan55]

Lol you had sex with a dude who is still in a relationship with another woman... duh... you think he is going to divorce her (he won't) and get together with you? Come on... you can't be that naive. Don't give it up without a commitment in place... a guy will never respect you after that.

[Asker]

We haven’t had sex yet.

[spartan55]

Okay that wasn't clear in your post. He can't be using you if you aren't having sex...😂 😂 Forget him, he won't leave his wife. I'm sure he talks about how crazy she is, but you are only getting one side of the story.

[Peridot25]

If you’re that impatient to connect your genitals with someone, then just move on. Poor guy is under enough stress than he already is.
He’s got an ex wife that I assume is not all that great and now he’s got you hounding on him about having sex. Do you really think that’s going to make him want to have sex faster?

[Asker]

That wasn’t the point. That’s the only thing he’s made clear with me. Everything else is unclear. Sorry if that’s what you assumed. No im not in a rush for that. That’s why I’ve been patient for a long time and hid my crush from him a long time because I wanted to just be his friend through all he’s going through and this last week he made it clear he was interested in me in that way in wanting sex. I have feelings beyond that. We decided days ago to limit the texting and I haven’t heard from him. Just natural to be a little insecure.

[Peridot25]

Have you ever been through divorce or separation?

[Asker]

No I have not. I’ve barely have ever even dated. I don’t fall for people easily or connect. So it’s hard for me to understand things.

[Peridot25]

Separation/divorce isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s not all that easy. Especially, if you have an ex like his wife.

[Asker]

Yes he says she’s very crazy

[Peridot25]

Let’s say if she were to find out about you two, imagine how much more hell she’ll give him.

[Peridot25]

That’s why he’s trying to protect you.

[Peridot25]

And you’re right about it’s natural to feel a little insecure. But, you just have to keep reminding yourself he’s under a lot of stress. I think once he’s completely away from his ex, everything will be fine.

[Asker]

When I last saw him he gave me a hug for the first time and it literally felt like home. I felt like we both needed that hug. I deff think he cares about me. I just need to be patient. Thank you for your advice.

[DishLady]

Are you really in your 30s and don’t know this is just him wanting a f-buddy?

[ciera01]

Wait until he gets a divorce and then see if he still into you.