My boyfriend hates when I wear revealing clothing, but likes and follows those types of girls on instagram?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. He has this thing where he says he doesn't like "easy girls." I said that's fair enough. He doesn't like it when I wear revealing clothing outside of the house, and he says I shouldn't post pictures of myself on Instagram wearing revealing clothing.

The only problem is the double-standard he has. He follows OF models on Instagram who all wear revealing clothing and likes their pictures/thirst-traps. He also likes pictures of girls he knows in bikinis.

I've tried to discuss this with him and point out the hypocrisy, but he says it's different because I'm his girlfriend and they're just a random girl he doesn't care about. He doesn't care what they wear but he gets jealous when I wear it. I said but why is he liking those girls' pictures then? If he doesn't like girls who do it, why like their pictures and follow them?

How do I get it through to him that he's being hypocritical? How do I handle this?

Lliam · Accepted Answer

He's a controlling ass hole and a hypocrite. He might be a narcissist. He wants to harm your self esteem.

When you tried to have a conversation like a mature adult, he blew you off and basically said he doesn't have to change even if it makes you uncomfortable. He doesn't care about your feelings regarding his behavior. But expects you to care about his feelings and comply his wishes. His excuse is, he's a man and you are a woman. Fuck that.

Given his behavior, I guarantee he would cheat on you if given the chance. Then he would say "But it didn't mean anything. I dodn't care about her. I love you."

If he's so insecure that he can't handle you looking good in public, he doesn't trust you. Well, given his behavior, you shouldn't trust him, either.
Love is built on trust. If he doesn't trust you, he doesn't love you. He just wants to own you.

Here's another thing. He was initially attracted to you partially because of the way you dressed. You looked good. He didn't have a problem with you then. Now that he thinks he owns you, he wants you to be Amish or his personal harem girl.

I suggest that you wear what you want. Continue to wear tastefully sexy clothes that make you feel comfortable and good bout yourself. Wear bikinis to the beach and pool. Enjoy your attractiveness. Tell him that he needs to grow up.
Better yet, tell him to find another girlfriend, maybe one of those Insta-sluts that he likes so much.

Drewtate · Accepted Answer

Well you are meant to be his girl. When you parade around in revealing clothes and upload scantily clad pictures of yourself on social media you are telling the world and your boyfriend that you are dtf and not committed to your current relationship. You always know a chick with a boyfriend or husband isn't loyal, is looking a new man or is down to f*ck by her fbook or Instagram posts. If your social media accounts are full of inappropriate pictures you put up for attention that thirsty horny guys are liking and commenting on along with your inbox being full of horny thirsty guys then your relationship with your boyfriend is going nowhere.

Your boyfriend can look at Instagram girls all he wants doesn't mean he will sleep with any. It you want commitment from him or any other man in the future you got to make it so they can commit to you confidently knowing you loyal and you don't have a slutty past.

My boyfriend hates when I wear revealing clothing, but likes and follows those types of girls on instagram?

DishLady · Accepted Answer

I partially agree with what @spartan55 is saying (except for the laughing/hired part... spartan is a cranky sort of guy). But it's your body and your choice, yes? Having said that, if I'm with a guy I'll definitely not change my style, however, out of respect for HIM I'd tone down the sexy outfits in public, wear something that's at least 10-15% less va-va-voom than if I'm single. So the correct answer is somewhere between what your guy wants and what spartan is saying. Get it?

SweetJoyGirl · Accepted Answer

Personally, you are his girlfriend, not his wife. lol

I am not saying dress skimpy. I am saying that there are levels in which a man is allowed to assert dominance. lol

If I had a boyfriend, I wouldn’t really think deeply about how he perceives the way I dress. Now, if he is my husband, I would. Reason being that I believe in submission to one’s husband.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

You're going to have to say to him,

"Either accept me for who I am or leave me, because I am not changing! Just be certain though it is what you want, because once we are through there is no going back!"

Otherwise, you are going to have this the whole time you're together. He can't see your point of view at all.

Quick question.. when he met you, did you dress the same way? Because that would make it much worse, seeing as he fell for you for being this way, and now demands you change!

hahahmm · Answer

He told you the 100% truth when he says: "he says it's different because I'm his girlfriend and they're just a random girl he doesn't care about." Interesting how a woman is always saying how she feels is important but she will ignore a guy's preferences and dismiss them as unimportant. You are free to dump him if you aren't compatible.

It's not a double standard when you understand that the kind of woman a man wants to take seriously has to live to a higher standard than one he just finds attractive. This is why there's a lot of very attractive women who can't keep a man. OH, you thought that being in a relationship never has any restrictions/responsibilities? If you want total freedom stay single or stick to guys who don't have any standards at all.

I'm not saying you have to be okay with him friending strippers/ "models" online tho. You can & should have your standards for what you want in a boyfriend too.

When you really find the guy you want to be with, you won't even be asking why you can't dress like a call girl or like you're fishing for a new man because you will naturally not want guys to think you're fishing & you will not want to give your boyfriend an excuse to do fishing of his own. The people who never even had someone want to be with them forever are the ones shouting the loudest about how a woman can always dress however she pleases. So when/if you ever want a forever relationship, just remember that.

Anonymous · Answer

Look I hate to break it to you but he wants his cake and to eat it too. He wants romantic love with a good woman with good morals and class. But then sexually gets off to degenerate whores.

Look, if he’s not cheating physically the chances of him doing so if (and when) the opportunity arises. It will probably happen, even if it does not he's emotionally cheating. Why’s he follows these girls? Are they posting inspirational quotes, are they his cousins or sister, are they posting photos of the stars or clouds? Doubt it. There’s one reason he’s following them more likely then not.

He has double standards. He expects you to be a certain way. If you were following men with big six pack abs shirtless he would probably have a problem. But it’s fine for him to do it.

You need to see if he’s really the dude for you…

RavVid · Answer

Hypocrisy is claiming to adhere to a standard but you don't. A politician that stands for family values but cheats with his office girl is hypocritical.

What you are complaining of is potentially a double standard and you are not the first girl to complain their guys looks at other girls. Nothing is ever going to stop guys window shopping. Visible nipple is always going to seize our eyeballs - it isn't even conscious... initially that is.

It is what you want to make it. You can argue he likes looking at other girls and you like other men looking at you. But he will devalue you.

adam6402 · Answer

He doesn't like you wearing those clothes because of other people like himself. Other guys who are looking at other girls wearing those sorts of clothes. It's hypocritical of him to tell you not to wear revealing clothes while looking at other girls wearing those same clothes.

spartan55 · Answer

Don't argue with him. Just post and wear what you want. If he says something about it laugh at him ask if he is talking to the hired help. You don't HAVE to do what he says.

HawkPerception · Answer

A classy woman doesn't dress provocatively and is much more attractive than a girl that does.

Girls tend to like the second type of girl's style more but guys tend to prefer the first girl's style much more

elizamichale1 · Answer

Thts the usual hypocrisy of our society... but he shouldn't be able to dictate u... u should freely wear whatever u like n be comfortable with

Anonymous · Answer

Because he doesn’t give a sh*t about those women. They’re sluts to him like a majority of men. Now when it comes to you, you’re not the same. He has respect for you. He cares about you. He doesn’t want men to see you the same way he sees those other women. To him you’re special. Yes I know hypocrisy but that’s how a lot of men operate. You’ll never understand this because you’re not a man.

summiter · Answer

It is your body and your choice. I'm sure you do not tell him what to wear. Tell him to chill out and not have double standards. Hs it messed up your sex life with him when you dress like that or has it improved it?

Truthatanycost · Answer

He is unwise for supporting the double standard, and you are unwise for needing to wear revealing clothing. Until the both of you realise you are not acting in a way that edifies each other, nothing will change.

DrPepper12 · Answer

he's a hypocrite. he's gaslighting you. he's a liar. he's playing you.  Is he SO insecure that he can't handke you feeling sexy? Fuck that! Dress for you, not the stunted man child

SotiCoto · Answer

It isn't that he doesn't like it. He just doesn't want anyone else staring at you like that.  But yeah, he is a total hypocrite.

Wild_princess · Answer

Classic males want like sexy girls but when it comes to there girlfriend they want them conservative and decent

soe11 · Answer

Personally I like and love when my girlfriend wearing revealing outfits and Teeny Tiny micro adjustable strings bikinis publicly.  I compliments and encourage her. Approve and appreciate her.

Alex-Snow · Answer

He is insecure and a hypocrite. You get to decide not him

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Lol typical little controlling hypocrite

GoGetitGio · Answer

He loves and respects you but he’s got a bad habit with porn. Talk to him about it

Anonymous · Answer

He's simply looking at those women. You want to show your body and attract attention from other guys. Yes you can do that, however, if you do, it is disrespectful to your boyfriend.

jahaims · Answer

He enjoys looking at attention whores. He doesn't want to date one

noohair · Answer

His is not an open minded person. And I guess he is not changing soon. The only person you have any chance of changing is yourself.

Twalli · Answer

You're his, he want to be the only one who sees you in a sexual sense. They aren't his wo he doesn't care

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

Sounds like an ex instead of  boyfriend

Emanon25 · Answer

He’s jealous about you, he will get used to it.

Luckycharms12 · Answer

Do you. he doesn't own or control you

LaurenM1997 · Answer

He’s a hypocrite

MasterKS · Answer

Those are the true Assholes!

stratford · Answer

He's the jealous type

jjj101010 · Answer

Happy to explain if u want to discuss it

Anonymous · Answer

Makes sense.

My boyfriend hates when I wear revealing clothing, but likes and follows those types of girls on instagram?

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Should I care if my boyfriend follows sexy models and likes their pictures on Instagram?

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Should I care if my boyfriend follows sexy models and likes their pictures on Instagram?

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