I blew up at my boyfriend for implying I’m stupid?

Question

This is an ongoing issue that drives me crazy , I literally hate and feel so disrespected when he says he has to dumb things down for me, I don’t understand anything, basically saying I’m an idiot.

It happened last night again and I lost it, I said why are you with someone that you think is an idiot and he says I wonder that myself and I walked off and said well I’ll make that decision easy for you. He says he wouldn’t imply or say I’m stupid if I didn’t say stupid things. I got so angry at him last night I said it’s so rude and disrespectful and I even got upset.

Now today I apologised for my part but I said I’m also annoyed/hurt. We live together and he is completely ignoring me and says he doesn’t want to speak to me. Was I wrong for getting so angry?

SueShe · Accepted Answer

I don't understand why you are still with him after he disrespected you for the very first time and called you stupid. That would have been reason enough to sever this toxic relationship and to let him know that you cannot be insulted the way he does. He is a toxic and abusive person but you let him because your reaction is not appropriate to his toxicity.

You should have told him from the start that you will no longer tolerate that he disrespects you the way he does and if he does not stop to be toxic, there will be consequences and that you will either leave him or that he has to shape up or ship out.

The longer you wait to react, the more he will believe that his behavior is normal and the more he will disrespect you.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

No dump him immediately. Big red flags and emotional abuse. LEAVE. I don’t know how to make it any more clear. He will not change. He doesn’t respect you. He doesn’t like you. He’s abusive. He doesn’t care about you. It’s not your fault. Nothing you do or don’t do will change anything. It will get worse. Leave.

genericname85 · Accepted Answer

are you stupid? like no offense. just a question of honest self reflection. cause if you aren't, why does it bother you so much when he implies it? are you insecure about your intelligence and that's why this irritates you so much?

like if you were stupid and you were cool with that, cause honestly nothing is wrong with that, it shouldn't bother you. neither should it if you were not stupid. so that's why i'm asking.

DishLady · Answer

Was he implying or just telling you that you're stupid? If he treats you like you're an idiot then it's not "implying". And if you're still with him while he's treating you like this... well. 🤷🏻‍♀️