The guy I just started seeing sister has died?

[WinCx3d]

Just started seeing a guy about a month ago. He texted me last night and told me his sister passed away yesterday. What should i say or do? Why did he tell me

[Anonymous]

Just be there for him. Talk to him. Ask him if he needs you to come over, or does he need something. W in reason of course. As for why he told you, because you’re probably the closest thing to him as far as having someone to talk to about such an emotional thing. Believe it or not a majority of men do not have someone to talk to about things like this. We don’t. It’s a lonely world for a lot of men. Same reason why Norah Vincent deleted herself after 18 months of going undercover as a man. She couldn’t deal w it after she disclosed who she was to the men she befriended. They were ok w it, they still accepted her. But she just became depressed on how lonely it is being a man, how society treats men, etc. So talk to him. He may say he’s ok, which more than likely he isn’t. But if he says something similar to that just let him know you’re there. Men tend to deal w things on their own cause that’s how we’ve pretty much all be raised to do. That you’re not a man if you can’t handle things on your own, etc, etc. He will be in a shroud of clouds for a while, but more than likely eventually he will come through.

[hahahmm]

I'm guessing that you asked "why did he tell me" in the sense that you wonder if he thinks you're "the one" he's going to marry or something? Nah, a guy would share that just so if he needs alone time or can't talk when you want to you understand he has a lot going on that he has to deal with right now. Also maybe a test too because if you act like the world revolves around you right now that's a huge red flag.

[sage2021]

Do you really need to ask why he told YOU his sister died? That isn't something you keep secret. Of course he is probably telling everyone that his sister died. That's normal behavior.

Let him know that if there is anything at all that you can do to please let you know.
It doesn't matter that you have only been seeing him for a month. You have to start your relationship sometime right?

Just relax about why he told you and don't question it ok? You will end up overthinking it which isn't a good thing to do.

I don't know how often you see each other or how close you two are, but if he is alone next time you see him I am sure he could use a big hug from you.

[coxoabean]

Pray for him to have peace during this difficult time, be there for him, if he asks for space, give it to him and understand it's nothing with you. He is hurting. Try not to ask for so much attention at this time, but rather give him the attention as it could come off bad if you are trying to seek for attention right now. Listen to him when he wants to talk. Offer to help him with things you can help him with, such as maybe he is trying to finish a project, see if you can help him with that. Maybe a sweet gift.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

The best thing you can do is be there for him.

[Damaged00]

Just be there for him. Offer your support. And if he wants you around then do it and bring food. I know food sounds trivial but trust me when someone is grieving they tend to not have the energy to take care of themselves. He told you because he is being open with you with what he is going through and probably wants to talk about it.

[OfMiceandMen]

Just say your sorry to hear that and that you understand if he's going to be a little busy over the next little while.

I'm sure he isn't looking for anything from you, just a little understanding as to why he may not contact you the next few days or week because he's focusing on himself and his family right now.

[ProbablyClueless]

Why make things any more complicated than they need to be?

Offer your sympathy, empathy and support. Be understanding that he's going through a tough time.

Most importantly, respond to what he communicates to you.

[StudyingAuthor]

He would like for you to give him some encouragement. Tell him something like "I'm sorry" or something along that line... don't stay silent for too long, you have to actually care.

[Staximus]

He told you because his sister died, genius. Normal people who know each other and communicate regularly tell each other stuff like that. If you care about him you will offer him your love and support because his life just went to shit.

[Abbycado]

What? You don't know why a guy you're dating would tell you that his sister died? Wtf...🤦‍♀️

[ProbablyClueless]

I was thinking something similar, but some of the other questions I've seen on here make me think that maybe this stuff isn't as common sense as we think it would be.

[Abbycado]

Maybe not. I think something like that is obvious but maybe not. That is a big damn deal when you lose a family member. Of course you are going to tell people.

[ProbablyClueless]

Yeah, I didn't realize how weird some people get about communicating things until I started dating. It turns out that there are a bunch of people who treat their lovers with borderline contempt. And there are a bunch of people who just aren't comfortable speaking up about things that you would sincerely hope they would speak up about.

Lots of nutcases out there, I'm afraid!

[Abbycado]

Agree with you on that. I think it would be near impossible for me to hide my emotions when a family member died. Not letting my boyfriend know why I'm upset, and actually have a legit reason, would be nuts in my opinion.

[Radiate143]

Is it true? I've had guys use an alleged death to ghost.

Give condolences. But don't go beyond.

He's basically a stranger.

.

[worldscolide]

Just offer your support, that is what he needs most.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Comfort him and give him your deepest sympathy.

[the29thhuman]

Be a listening ear. Don’t try to fix anything. Just listen

[scott04sa22]

Sorry for his loss