How can I help my little brother with depression?

[HanabusaAido]

My brother is 16, he's a good kid with a good heart, but he has severe depression and Anxiety, it is effecting how he thinks and acts, because of this I convinced him to share a room at my place so he doesn't have to deal with our parents and so ill be right there if he needs help. But he seems to be getting worse, his psychiatrist doesn't seem to be helping. I am worried for him, he has great potential but is constantly in and out of hospital due to bullying and self harm. Any suggestions on what I should do would be greatly appreciated

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+1 y

my brother is in the hospital in a coma. I hope that he will be alright

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+1 y

my younger brother passed away. I will miss him. it hurts so bad. but I feel like now I have no one to talk to. my family say its OK but they don't understand. but ill make sure he's never forgotten and I have reported his bullies to the cops. thanks for your suggestions everyone

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+1 y

having the funeral in 2 weeks. and I'm coping pretty well concidering

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+1 y

the funeral was good, his friends sang when the sand runs out by rascal flatts it was a great way to celebrate those sixteen and 10 months of my little brothers life. I have his friends come over often and we talk bout him, it helps, we always talk bout the great things he did. and everyone. thank you for helping, you have no idea how much you helped me

Updates

+1 y

everything is getting better slowly. I miss him but I can move on and not just sit around and cry. I go to his grave every morning before I go to work and I talk to him and I know he can hear me.

[goflipaburger]

It sounds like he's also an introvert?

I struggle with a similar situation. My little sister is the same way and she's already attempted suicide. She's been getting better but I think that might be because of the school she was going to. Middle school was rough for her. She didn't fit in, she was also bullied and picked on. We had a traumatic childhood that we couldn't talk about to anyone. Her psychiatric was also not very helpful.

You know what does work though? Whenever I remind her about how much I love her, it really cheers her up. If she's contemplating suicide, I tell her how much I'd miss her and I describe it in detail. It sounds like he's lonely. Feeling lonely can make you feel unwanted, they feel as if they died no one would care. It's important to sit him down and really tell him how much you love him and how much you would hate to see him harm himself. Even if it involves a cry fest. Let him know that you'd miss him and how you couldn't live without him.

If there's a way for you to change his school and psychiatrist that might help. Maybe you can talk to his school counselors and have them give you advice on how he can "fit in." But if I were you, I'd send him to a magnet/charter school. My sister went to the same hs I went to, it was a design magnet school and people were really accepting. It wasn't the typical high school.

Other than that, all I can say is that you're doing a great job. I'm still struggling with the same issue, though so... BUT at least she's in her first few weeks of college and loving it. She's 8 hours away, but she's loving it and she sounds happy.

[ROTFLMFAO]

He shouldn't change his school. He needs to stand up to the bullies. Chances are he'll get bullied at his new school (if he doesn't defend himself).

[goflipaburger]

Thats a lot easier said then done. Especially if he's the type to hate himself. And nowadays, standing up to people in school normally ends in fights. I think it might be easier for him to learn to stand tall and on his own and then be given a clean slate where he won't be stigmatized as "that guy," you know what I mean?

[ROTFLMFAO]

I guess he'll regret it later. If he flees from bullies, the bullies win/they will be satisfied and he'll feel like a coward. He needs to team up with his brother's friends and humiliate his bullies. This way he he'll boost his ego/crush his bully's ego. Very effective IMO.

[goflipaburger]

That would work really well in elementary school, but I'm not so sure about high school. I don't think he needs to confront anyone, I think he just needs positive relationships.

Standing up for himself doesn't mean he has to humiliate anyone.

[ROTFLMFAO]

He needs to turn the tables otherwise they'll keep bullying him. Nothing is more effective than beating a bully up/humiliate him in front of friends and hot girls. They will never bully him again. I humiliated my friend's bully this way (in hs) and he stopped bullying him. Girls don't know how to deal with bullies. You are simply too nice and that's why males keep dominating you.

[goflipaburger]

I'm not being dominated, nor have I been dominated by men, nor am I nice :P Please, don't act like you know me.

And I'm not so primitive to just use violence. I've got a quick tongue and I use it well. It's never failed.

[goflipaburger]

@update: I'm so sorry. I'm sure he'll pull through! I'll keep you both in my thoughts <3 Good luck.

[HanabusaAido]

doc said he won't make it through the night.(but I'm praying he will be ok)

[goflipaburger]

:( I really hope he does.

[HanabusaAido]

so do i. I already lost my sister not my brother too, I won't be able to handle it

[goflipaburger]

All we can do is hope, but we're all here for you.

[HanabusaAido]

thank you

[goflipaburger]

I'm so sorry :( again, we're here for you if you need us. just feel free to mourn properly. take a month or two off work, stay home for a bit and really just... cope. there's nothing anyone can do or say to change how you're going to feel, losing someone is always very hard... but you can pull through this. you were the best brother anyone in that situation could ask for, really. and you really did do all the best things. you're selfless, and that's a beautiful quality.

[goflipaburger]

dont be afraid to cry and be angry. don't be afraid to puch a wall if you have to. just let it all out. find someone to talk to in person. its just important to feel like a part of something, because trust me... you're going to get a little lonely. just go into this knowing that you are NOT alone and you really did all that you could. you did all that I wish I could do for my sis. I wish you the best.

[HanabusaAido]

yer but that bitch that recently put an answer wade mefeel like sh*t. I want my brother back. I never thought the day would come that I would have to burry my brother

[HanabusaAido]

i can't handle this

[goflipaburger]

I can imagine :( your brother was in an impossible place, it was something no one had control over-- not even himself. although I know its going to be difficult and I salute you for being so strong, just try and remember your brother for what he was before he was consumed by depression. Depression changes people, it consumes them... its like they aren't even capable of free thought at some point because it gets so powerful. his mind and heart are at rest and his spirit is with you.

[HanabusaAido]

yer. just seein g him in that hospital bed completely motionless, skin pale, blue lips and his eyes closed never to open again. I cried and cuddled him till they took him.

[goflipaburger]

:( but with that hug I think you squeezed his essence out and took it with you. although he is no longer with you, you can still be a great brother. keep him in your heart and in your thought and push through. live the life he didn't have a chance to have himself. live your life not only for yourself but for your siblings. you can do it :)

[HanabusaAido]

ill miss him. he was a great kid. now I have to think how to make his funeral special

[HanabusaAido]

so that we can say goodbye and so I can show how special he was

[goflipaburger]

I'm really glad you're coping well :) I hope the funeral goes really well!

[HanabusaAido]

its going to be good I hope I just miss dan so much. there's a photo of him on my profile

[goflipaburger]

I know :( but you can do it!

[HanabusaAido]

yer. and his bullies and the school are in trouble for this

[goflipaburger]

GOOD! Thank goooodness!

[HanabusaAido]

yer I'm happy. ill always love my brother

[naturally]

You sound like such an amazing brother.

For a 16 year old boy, he needs to be social, he needs to be active, he needs to pick himself up and chose to live.

I reccomend getting into a soccer group or something in your area.

And don't tolerate "i don't want to" or "i don't feel like it" you get him involved because once he's there and makes new friends his happiness will pick up.

It's good to mix with a whole new set of people.

I also STRONGLY reccomend joining a life teen group (you don't have to be religious) but people in those church groups are his age and extremely nice to everyone. It would give him a good chance to make friends and find his reason to live.

The more closed off he gets, the deeper into depression he gets. So hold BBQ's and group get-to-gether's. Have your mates come round and talk with him, play some cricket, make him feel like one of the guys.

Does the school he attends know off his situation? do they have a solid bullying program in place?

Make sure your brother knows that what ever he is feeling now, it will pass, and in 2 years when you look back you'd think it silly.

Every morning when he wakes up tell him "You are special. You have a purpose. You mean something to me"

The Key: have him get involved in life! because it is so worth living.

Good luck to you and your brother.

[HanabusaAido]

i have tried to get him involved in sport but he hates it, but I have mannaged to get him to go to the beach, and he is quite a great artist, he loves his quiet life where he draws,paints and sculpts. and I've spoken to the school but they aren't doing anything. he is spiraling downwards the only thing I have been able to do is stay awake at night so I don't have to wake up to find that he's killed himself

[naturally]

if you're that concerned, wouldn't he be better off under suicide watch?

dude, it's gone beyond what he "hates" or likes, something has to be done know.

I wouldn't go another day without making a change in his life, whether he wants it or not.

Embrace his creativity, go to an art class together. Do something that will give him purpose.

[HanabusaAido]

ive tried, after a fight I let him have his own room and behind my back he installed a lock on it and I've taken him to art shows, he's put his paintings in a competition but they told him that they were of too dark a subject to be enterred. I'm trying to get him to go out, do something but all he does is go to school and sleep in his room

[ROTFLMFAO]

Suicide watch is a horrible idea.

[naturally]

has he tried kids helpline?

[heartbreak]

its good that you celebrated his life and I hope you will be alight.

god bless

[HanabusaAido]

thank you

[ROTFLMFAO]

Sad news. I'm very sorry. What did he do? Swallow pills? You are right, you shouldn't risk getting behind bars when your brother needs you, but you can hire guys who'll beat the sh*t out of his bullies. Do they bully him verbally? Or physically? If they bully him physically, why don't they throw them out of school? Those cowards team up against a guy who's 3 years younger? That's so pathetic. I hope he'll get better. Good luck to you and your brother.

[HanabusaAido]

yer took 93 sleeping pills. they wer mine, I thought id put them away but obviously not. I don't want to lose him, but he wants to die more than anything. they bash him and the school hasn't done anything! my sister killed herself when she was in high school and now I might lose my brother. I hate this! why my family? why is the world determined to take my brother away from me

[ROTFLMFAO]

They bash him and the school doesn't do anything? That's sick. No wonder they keep bullying him. People only learn from mistakes if there are consequences to those mistakes. Make sure you do everything you can to kick them out of school. Tell the teachers what happened/tell them he's in a coma. If he manages to kill himself, they'll have blood on their hands. I know you think it's stupid, but you need to hire guys who beat his bullies into a pulp. Believe me, if you pay them, they will do it.

[HanabusaAido]

yer. my brothers condition is just getting worse. they say they don't think he is going to wake up. I'm a failure! I lost my sister and I can't even do anything to keep my brother alive!

[ROTFLMFAO]

it's NOT your fault. the bullies/school is responsible for what happened. maybe he'll wake up. swallowing pills isn't an effective suicide method.

keep me updated. thanks.

[HanabusaAido]

they said he won't make it through the night. I care so much about him, he has a future! a good one. why did those ass holes have to rewin it? why did they have to do this, to cause him to attempt suicide? its just not fair

[ROTFLMFAO]

if he doesn't make it through the night, you need to report them to the police. he's not the first one who got bullied to death. they will go to prison for bullying him. the school teachers have blood on their hands and they can't wash it off, no matter how hard they try. make sure they will feel guilty.

[HanabusaAido]

i will. ill do anything to make sure the world knows the bullies and teachers are what have put him in this condition. I don't want to lose him. he's to young

[ROTFLMFAO]

may he rest in peace. his bullies/school will feel guilty for their part in driving your brother to death. sooner or later they will realize what they've done. it will drive them crazy.

[ROTFLMFAO]

almost forgot, you need to mention the names of his bullies (at his funeral). tell them that the cowards teamed up against a younger guy. everyone needs to know how pathetic they are...

[HanabusaAido]

i will. and I have to pay for his funeral. and my mum and dad say they won't come

[ROTFLMFAO]

Beat the sh*t out of his bullies. Team up with your friends and your brother (groups are more intimidating). Make the bullies beg for mercy in front of many people. Force the main bully to kiss your brother's shoes. Believe me, they won't bully him again.

[HanabusaAido]

no offense but that's stupid

[ROTFLMFAO]

it's not. that's the most effective way to deal with bullies. they will never learn if you/your brother keeps being nice.

[HanabusaAido]

my brother is in year 10 they are 2-3 years older. he's scared of em. and I don't want to b charged with assult and risk getting behind bars wen my brother needs me

[Misty_04]

I don't know about your exact situation but definitely get him out of the house and go on some fun adventures. You're being supportive which is already a step in the right direction.

[HanabusaAido]

hes not an outdoor person, it took me ages to get him to go to the beach

[Misty_04]

I didn't want to comment on this as I wouldn't want you to keep reading your question and answers over and over but I just wanted to say I'm sorry and I really feel for you and your family. If you ever want to talk just add me, one of my friends commited suicide last year. I know it's not the same but I know the pain is so bad. I wish I could have actually given better advice.

[naturally]

Oh My God. I'm so so so sorry :'( Oh My God

How could this happen?

Oh My God

Are you okay

[HanabusaAido]

its my fault. I forgot to put away my bottle of sleeping pills where he couldn't get them. I can't belive he isgone. I should have gotten him help sooner. I feel awful

[naturally]

Off course this is not your fault. He was a deeply troubled young man.

It's on you now to be strong and live with passion like your brother should have.

[HanabusaAido]

i knew he was depressed and I left the pills were he could get them. I want him back

[naturally]

If it weren't the pills it would have been something else. If nothing else, he went peacefully and is in a much better place.

You have done nothing wrong, you are a good man who loved his brother.

I pray you will find peace. I'm so very sorry for your lost.

[HanabusaAido]

i need my little brother. I need him so badly! he was so innocent he didn't deserve to have his life run into the ground

[naturally]

I know, I know :'(

I'm sure your parents are grieving, console each other and hold each other close.

Your brother is now looking down on you, and he is very proud of his older brother and he is finally happy.

[HanabusaAido]

my family actually don't care mum said "good now we have our good son and our good son only" I'm alone in this. I thought that I would die first, that he would die nice and warm in his bed after having a great life and now he will be 6ft under next Tuesday...exactly 2 weeks befor his 17th birthday

[naturally]

Oh honey I'm so sorry,

Even though your parents may be acting that way deep inside they are destroyed. I'm certain they're just angry, he was their flesh and blood that they loved that has now passed. As a mother, you NEVER get over this. You must talk and scream and cry. Grieve now and then after you will feel the peace and love in your heart that is your brother.

[HanabusaAido]

no. he was unwanted. they abused him, hated him . they even said they won't go to his funeral. and I'm using my own money to pay for his funeral.

[HanabusaAido]

i feel awful

[naturally]

That is so terrible. I hope you can surround yourself with positive people.

In his heart your brother was not unwanted and unloved because you wanted him and you loved him.

[HanabusaAido]

yer. I never thought id have to burry my little brother

[Anonymous]

yes its a tradgety but stop wasting other peoples time. this isn't important. every1 has there own problems

[goflipaburger]

then stop making this your problem and deal with your own :/

you're not obligated to respond to anything. stop wasting space.

[Opinion Owner]

well he should stop looking for sympathy honestly. everyone has more important things to do than comfort an upset guy

[goflipaburger]

you should stop typing really, no one cares about what you have to say. again, stop wasting space.

[Opinion Owner]

honestly he should go and cry in a corner instead of being on here

[goflipaburger]

no, you should go cry in a corner. don't you have something to do?

[Opinion Owner]

no. but his stupid blablabla bout his brother is stupid he's not a kid. adults should b able to controll thmselves

[goflipaburger]

so control your self and stop typing :P

[ROTFLMFAO]

what a pathetic whore you are. I asked him to keep me updated. if you can't deal with it, stop blaming him/stop wasting his/my time. make less spelling mistakes/improve your grammar instead. you sound like a retard. your ridiculous girl problems are nothing compared to his problems. he lost his sister and his brother. you couldn't deal with it. you're such a sad excuse for a human being. remember.. karma gets you...

[Opinion Owner]

my big sister is dead! she hung herself! I just get upset wen I hear stuff like this because they couldn't help the person they love and I apologize for what I said I was just tiered and got upset and didn't think

[goflipaburger]

I'm so happy for you :D Keep going <3

[HanabusaAido]

thanx. I don't care if its weired but there's a photo of him in every room in the house

[goflipaburger]

:)

[HanabusaAido]

i miss him

[naturally]

Good on ya mate, hang in there.

[HanabusaAido]

thanx