My twin (22) is struggling
16-17 - sat in bed all day after school (i had found a girlfriend and started college in high school)
18 - panic attacks, anxiety. Hospital for panic attacks multiple times. Biology plays a factor - mother on pills through 20’s, father obsessive and needs stimulation or goes “crazy”
19 - goes to college and still struggles with friends and grades and mental health
20 - 21 - spirals, drinks every day, sleeps during day and drinks at night, drinks to convulsing, then gets violent towards end towards himself and others so I move out (we shared a room). Still doing bad in school.
22 - he had an initial good start getting it together a bit but went back. He still failed. So he quit college. Now he is doing really poorly. We haven't seen him in days, drinking, not working, etc. He told me he was gay this year and I was supportive. In the recent weeks he is doing particularly bad.
What I think its a combination, sexual identity struggles, anxiety, bpd, struggles with career and seeing his brothers move on, both brothers moving out, no money left, loss of hope, no friends (he isolates himself - had friends in high school and I still retain the friends and invite him), sexual orientation struggles, general feeling of stuck. My parents help him for example keep his car going and feed him and all.
I’m very worried he has suicidal thoughts and we don’t know how to help. Today I told the family he is gay in hopes they may be able to understand where he is at. They will not tell him they know. I can not be responsible for his death. I feel bad but I have to try anything at this point. Feel free to say if that was messed up but I just need ideas going forward. I always try to invite him to things but he no longer replies to my texts and calls. I have to go to my parents and barge in his door to talk to him. Is it likely at this point he attempts suicide?
16-17 - sat in bed all day after school (i had found a girlfriend and started college in high school)
18 - panic attacks, anxiety. Hospital for panic attacks multiple times. Biology plays a factor - mother on pills through 20’s, father obsessive and needs stimulation or goes “crazy”
19 - goes to college and still struggles with friends and grades and mental health
20 - 21 - spirals, drinks every day, sleeps during day and drinks at night, drinks to convulsing, then gets violent towards end towards himself and others so I move out (we shared a room). Still doing bad in school.
22 - he had an initial good start getting it together a bit but went back. He still failed. So he quit college. Now he is doing really poorly. We haven't seen him in days, drinking, not working, etc. He told me he was gay this year and I was supportive. In the recent weeks he is doing particularly bad.
What I think its a combination, sexual identity struggles, anxiety, bpd, struggles with career and seeing his brothers move on, both brothers moving out, no money left, loss of hope, no friends (he isolates himself - had friends in high school and I still retain the friends and invite him), sexual orientation struggles, general feeling of stuck. My parents help him for example keep his car going and feed him and all.
I’m very worried he has suicidal thoughts and we don’t know how to help. Today I told the family he is gay in hopes they may be able to understand where he is at. They will not tell him they know. I can not be responsible for his death. I feel bad but I have to try anything at this point. Feel free to say if that was messed up but I just need ideas going forward. I always try to invite him to things but he no longer replies to my texts and calls. I have to go to my parents and barge in his door to talk to him. Is it likely at this point he attempts suicide?
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There's no way for me to comment on whether it's likely that he would commit suicide. But he's in need of help and it's awesome that he knows you're there for him. Have you or your parents sought out a support group for yourselves, such as one for loved ones of those who are struggling? It might help you to find resources that can offer provide help for him. Maybe your local hospital can recommend one.
Thank you for caring about your brother. You're a really good dude.
I don't have enough expertise personally to know how to help with this situation. All I can suggest is that he gets some counseling. I think that would probably help him the most.
And with the alcohol issue, maybe he could go to a support group.
Since college didn't work out for him, is it possible that you could help him find a job that he really likes (that doesn't require a degree)?