Sorry ladies, as much as I appreciate your opinions, I’m gonna need to filter this one out so I can get the incels to feel comfortable 🙄.
Alright Incels and.. other fairytale things , why are you struggling with women? I’m honestly going to listen to my fellow men and I encourage other men to help these brothers out of their funk.
Im really eager to hear your thoughts and issues. I want you all to feel better about yourself and find success in your dating adventures. I poured a glass of whiskey so come on , tell your friendly drug dealer your troubles
Be honest , Why are you struggling with women?
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I'm short, unattractive looking ("ugly"), overweight, not interested in "buying" a woman's love one transaction at a time, have a low tolerance for stupidity (among anyone), have a hard time lying to people just to tell them what they want to hear, have no interest in dating gay/queer women, and only want to be with someone who loves me for me that I have an emotional connection with. I have a better time at proving the existence of aliens or God than I do finding someone like that (again).
There's like, 3 billion adult women on Earth and those numbers are far too low for one of them to be compatible with me, let alone genuinely attracted to me. Although if I was tall (wasn't short), then I'd at least have *some* women. They probably wouldn't be right for me, but it'd be better than golfing on the moon (meaning, by myself, forever).
I think you have a lot of things going for you and yeah there are somethings that can be improved. So If I was a betting man, I would place a bet on you that you can have a future with a woman
I’m working through my insecurities and some childhood stuff. I’ve been doing therapy since May, but I’m still just very emotionally sensitive and anxious, so I feel like it’s just not the right time to try for a relationship. A lot of baggage
That’s very brave of you brother. You’re doing the best thing, take your time. Making sure you’re good is the most important thing before entering a relationship. Much respect
I don't "struggle with women", thats an issue for losers who settle for casual sex, and If I wanted that I could have it by tomorrow.
I struggle finding a single woman I actually want, because the type I want is at home, doing artsy, nerdy, geeky things, and most women refuse to make themselves known on online gaming platforms.
You dont meet new people drawing, or animating, or playing an instrument/composing music, or coding, or writing a book, or playing on ps2, or building custom model kits, or 3D printing a sculpt, or researching paleontology, or building computers, or feeding your tarantula. But thats the girl for me.
The girl who draws with a photographic memory, plays 3 instruments at once, knows what phylogenetic branch Deinocherus is in, Thinks religion is for idiots, loves anime, and can kick my ass in a fighting game.
I want a girl who's beauty is met by brains and talent, who shares my interests and hobbies, and a girl like that? she's going to be a shut-in most of the time.
Just. Like. Me.
And for all my creativity and puzzle solving skills, I can't exactly go knocking on random doors asking if a single, attractive, talented nerd lives here.
And for whatever reason, this type of girl doesn't use dating sites, doesn't go to meet-ups, she just stays inside, being invisible, and the few I've found who are everything I just said but still make themselves known, are always taken, or are outside my country.
Yeah it’s a challenge to find a woman into the same hobbies as us. I’m into gaming and martial arts for example and it’s incredibly rare to date someone into the same thing. So I understand to an extent what you mean
Because men and women are different? Common sense would tell you that. Also you assume "And for whatever reason, this type of girl doesn't use dating sites, doesn't go to meet-ups, she just stays inside, being invisible..." where the simplest solution to where these girls are is they hardly exist. They dont just sit home alone, yes many girls do that but they aren't necessarily your type. You want a girl with more male interests... its about as likely as a girl who wants a man who does makeup better than she can, understands high fashion and can cook crepes. Smh. How many men do you know like that? Ofc they exist, they are about as common as a video game girl who had photographic memory and builds computers. Smh.
1. Men and women are different yes, but thats physically, not mentally, anyone who thinks otherwise is blind.
2. Those aren't "male interests", they are nerd interests, and the makeup and fashion examples are invalid because both girls and guys do makeup for movies/tv, and clothing for fashion models. Female fashion is half the time designed by men, to be sexually appealing to men, when worn by women, and many women models cosplay gear they made themselves as nerdy artists, many of which play video games.
3. It's rare for either gender to be like I mentioned, most people period are not multi-talented, not very smart, and are bad at video games. but there is enough of them to still find a girlfriend.
But you're limiting your dating pool down to sub 1% for very superficial reasons. You do you but any intelligent person with a decent concept of math knows you're shooting yourself in the foot over something dumb that has zero bearing on if you have a long term stable successful relationship.
No, I'm limiting my dating pool to about 5% of women for very substantial reasons, or more specifically, for the only reasons to even date in the first place.
Relationship success literally depends on compatibility/relatability, most people I can't stand being around, let alone marrying, and more than anything else, I want someone to relate to, to do stuff I like with.
You have to find someone like yourself, or divorce is the only outcome outside becoming so stressed from staying in the relationship that the person dies young.
Also, it's not that I need a relationship, and therfor should sacrifice the kind of like minded companionship I'm looking for to better my odds.
It's that I need that kind of like minded companionship, someone to share my hobbies with, interests, etc. And for a rare person like that to stay in my life, a relationship is the most likely way to obtain most of that, and the only way to obtain some of it.
TLDR: Regular friends come and go, but if you want a true best friend, one you trust with your life, one who you can tell or show anything, do any of your hobbies with, agrees with you on everything, and sticks around?
Also when you take all that away, it becomes just about sex, and if the only thing me and her have is sex, then:
1. I wouldn't trust her enough to not cheat because we aren't likeminded, so thats an std risk, and thus I'm not fucking her.
And 2. robots can't get pregnant, are low maintinence, don't die or age, and can look, sound, and feel like whatever I want.
And before you even say it, No, I'm not having a vasectomy just to get off with a woman, I can do that easily with no one's help, so if it's just sex, I'd choose a custom built sex bot over a person, if it's the girl of my dreams mentally and physically though? I might get snipped if she isn't sterile, but thats the only way I'd go on the operating table for sex.
That whole hookup/casual sex culture can go fuck itself (I'm certainly not gonna).
Sorry but this is the most willfully ignorant thing I've ever heard in my life. This is literally what everyone who is getting divorced does. No shared hobby keeps a marriage, no baseline IQ keeps a marriage, no amount of companionship keeps a marriage. A good friendship is no reason to get married, or else why not just be gay and marry your best bro? You have absolutely ridiculous expectations and none of them will contribute to a long lasting successful marriage. You do realize the people who marry their best friend and are so in love... well about half fail and of those 70% of the divorces are initiated by the women. 😂
Literally an acquaintance i know the couple got married and they had lots of shared hobbies rock climbing, edm concerts stuff like that. Then they had a baby and now can literally do almost none of them together anyways. Guess thats all they had because they just finalized their divorce. If you're so concerned with superficial things that do not matter do you also have a specific eye and hair color? She could be the hottest blonde but you prefer brunettes... it wouldn't surprise me. Smh.
Everything you just said is complete horse shit lol (The "be gay" thing especially, since sexual orientation isn't a choice, and also "best bro" just isn't even a thing by comparison, it's almost like you think I've been around relatable guys more than relatable women, which isn't true, I have no one I completely relate to, and bros come and go, a wife is forever)
But suffice to say I completely disagree with you on everything you've said, including that hobbies and interests are superficial, they aren't, they are literally the expression of who that person is on their deepest possible level, they are the least superficial thing about a person.
Simply put, you are your hobbies and interests and intelligence, they are what make you, you.
They got devorced over it after having a kid because HOBBIES AND INTERESTS ARE ANYTHING BUT SUPERFICIAL. You literally defeated your own argument one sentence later lol.
Also comparing them to trivial things like eye or hair color is just stupid, those things have zero impact on how a person talks, thinks, acts.
Recently, I haven't had a lot of time for a girlfriend. Excluding the common fear around here with Covid (so social events are way down), I'm taking care of a big house, I'm trying to get more work (and eventually find a different job, perhaps). I don't have a huge "party life" So there's not a lot of opportunities to meet people, let alone women.
There's not a lot of women I'd want to date, either. Those who ARE single, attractive, sort of around my age, etc... many of them seem to just want casual "open" relationships - one night stands, etc.
Some are just always mean, bitter and angry over everything, and they will be enraged over the smallest things. Like they're all just permanently angry and seething and waiting to snap. I just don't see wanting to put up with that. It's easier at times to just not even bother trying to date.
On their side, they probably (and this is just an educated guess) think I'm too geeky. Too short. Too ugly. Too "uncool." I don't pull in enough money to make up for all the areas in which I "lack." This is based on what women have said (or implied) in the past.
Most want self made men with $$$ on these sites or they have a strange list of demands of things that are not important. Must be born a certain month or year for one 😂 must be into drugs. Must be willing to have sex on the first date. Must share similar political views. Just to name a few idiotic ones off the bat. They'll have dozens of guys messaging them competing for her... no way! The expectations on some are out of control! Remember we are talking about some women, not all. But these types tend to be flooding sites and souring the exp for people actually deservimg affection.
I don't know why, women never communicate why or what's wrong with me, but then again I've mostly dated horrible women that I'm glad to be rid of so it wasn't just whatever it is about me but them as well. I've never approached women and never will so I've off and on used dating apps, which I'm starting to realize is where the absolute worst women are to date. So that's where I'm at, I've had a very short lived 6 month relationship and friends with benefits situation and I've decided that's not for me I have to do a relationship with someone I'm sexual with. Just looking for the right girl but if I have to approach her then I guess I'll never find her
Approaching her might be through a dating app, maybe a bump into each other a supermarket, etc. a connection is possible if we are open to it. Making the first step is always the hardest, it’s a Hail Mary. Sometimes it lands and other times it fails, but getting back up and trying again is the definition of true strength.
O I’m not an incel or struggling just curious to read the comments.
but I do feel like a lot of guys have trouble because of a lack of confidence in general and a bad self image of themselves as well insecurities. All of those things can be pretty crippling when it comes to dating.
Afterall how can you expect someone to like you if you don’t even like yourself.
I've tried recently and the dating scene is God awful. Sex is the key to the relationship, to everything. It's fucking annoying. They have no personality and I'm jaded from soulless women. No communication, no accountability, all privileges. Putting others down to lift themselves up. I can't handle playing these games. I'm so sick of it. I just want peace, direction, communication, authenticity. Honestly only time a girl shows interest in me is when I've decided I don't give a shit anymore anyway, and that's not an act or a strategy, so I just don't look back. I'm not playing this pendulum bullshit. I want to be happy not confused. Enjoy life not worry about some stupid game and wrong values that she is upset about because she can't wrap her head around simple facts because she is insecure. Because of all this when i really like someone my brain goes blank and I'm not as funny anymore. So I only go when I'm feeling confident.
I am not struggling, I have a girlfriend who treats me well. She's 19 too yeeaaah haha, it turns her on.
I have previously though, autism & I want something *real*. I don't do well with double speak, especially text. I just want my close ones to talk to me straight.
Hehe... I wouldn't call myself an incel. 6'4", decent shape, not ugly, etc...
But you know, I just don't really have any motivation with women, never really have in my adult life. Can't connect with them, I don't find them funny or interesting, and I can't fake it. There are many, many other men more motivated to chase women and they love-bomb them and do all sorts of bullshit I'd never do. 80% of women are fat and gross. Don't think they'd give you the time of day if it cost them anything. It often feels like the male gender's purpose is to serve females and never the other way around.
I'm not an incel I don't think. I'm a single virgin technically. Many girls I find, single girls, put off one of two attitudes these days. Unfortunately it's either they're very nice sluts or crotchety with outrageous expectations. I'm just not keen on either tbh. Don't get me wrong some girls are bright and warm those are the ones I go out of my way to meet for something long term but they're so few and far between. I'm also very focused on becoming more self sufficient.
I am not a virgin, so I guess I am technically not an incel really. I just have a lot of trouble picking up on Women’s social queues. I was always friend zoned when I younger so I always think that when Women are flirting with me, they are just being nice or just want to be friends. I can think of if a few forehead slapping moments in the past when after I really thought about it, she probably was flirting with me. Lol
I have even had a girl call me out and ask what my problem was because I had no idea that she was trying to hook up with me and I was totally clueless. She was a co-worker and I thought she just wanted to go out for drinks as friends.
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