Do men really forget about women they’ve flirted with previously or are they just circling back around because they’ve changed their mind?

[Summerlazing]

Ok, so a guy who works in my local store (he’s a manager) flirted with me back in the spring. I remember only because it was just after my Mum passed away. This was only for a week or so and I’m pretty sure he cooled when he saw me with my kids, which is fair enough. But I know it was intentional because he was completely indifferent to me after he backed off.

Anyway roll on 4 months and the other day I was joking with someone in the store and then I saw him so, as I was in a good mood, I gave him a big smile as he passed by. I end up at the checkout he was working on and he was back to full on flirting - grinning at me, staring right into my eyes and holding eye contact until I looked away and making funny comments etc.

I would’ve assumed it was just great customer service, if it wasn’t for the fact he’d spent the last few months avoiding eye contact and basically throwing my shopping through the till whenever he served me. The opposite of friendly service!

What I want to know is do men actually forget if they’ve flirted with you so will then try again if they think there’s an opportunity, totally forgetting they’ve already been there? I don’t understand why else he would be all friendly again? Did he forget about me and the reasons he stopped flirting?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmmm that's really weird behavior from that guy, flaking and then coming back stronger. As a dude, my hunch is he didn't forget about you at all.

When he first started chatting you up, things were probably going well until he noticed your kids and realized he couldn't just hit on you casual, he'd have to see you as a package deal which may have spooked him.

But I bet ever since, he's had you on his mind low-key. Then when you happened to smile at him, he took that as an opening to test the waters again now that some time has passed.

Guys can be indecisive like that sometimes - flirting cuz you're cute, then backing off when reality sets in, only to come back around once they've convinced themselves they're ready to pursue.

My advice would be to play it cool if you're into him too. But watch his follow through - all talk is cheap. If he's really interested, he'll ask you out properly. If not, then delete his number! Just don't let him waste your time.

[Summerlazing]

Thank you! I’m learning to move on quickly from hot & cold guys who play games and can’t make their mind up. It just helps me to make a little more sense of why!

[Oliverlogan263]

You're welcome! And yeah, guys can definitely be hot and cold sometimes without really meaning to be jerks about it. Our minds are just kinda all over the place haha.

I'd say just see how it goes with this guy - if he keeps the flirting light and respectful then maybe give him a chance. But definitely don't get too invested early on since guys have been known to lose interest quickly too.

If he asks you out, maybe go for a casual first date somewhere public so it's low pressure. And don't be afraid to be upfront about what you're looking for - whether it's something serious or just keeping things casual. Good communication is key!

But honestly, try not to overthink it too much either. Just go with the flow and have fun! Don't stress yourself out wondering what guys are thinking all the time. We're pretty simple haha. As long as you're happy that's all that matters. Hope things go well for you either way!

[BadApple69]

I can’t speak for all men but I know every girl I’ve ever flirted with.
I am assuming that he saw the kids and thought you were off limits. But this time when you gave him that smile he felt it was game on again.


Again this is just me assuming. I don’t know the guy.

[Summerlazing]

Ah! So maybe he thought I was in a relationship you mean?