Is it just me that thinks the whole “Good girl vs hoe” concept is misogynistic?

[Anonymous]

Like ultimately men created that competition/division between women and ultimately a man will sleep, propose to, date, love, like etc both type of women. I really think they sit back laughing when we fall for that bs they spit out about them wanting modest and covered woman. The modest and covered woman can still be every deceitful, manipulative, a liar and much more and the the “hoe” could be an all around awesome woman. Her sexual endeavors or lack thereof have nothing to do with who she is as a person.

[Lliam]

You make a a good point. I agree. It's a pet peeve of mine, too.
It's either black and white; two extreme ends of a continuum, virgin or whore.

Some of the guys who responded defensively here crack me up. Their idea of the ideal wife is a virgin in her early to mid-20s. She never had a boyfriend or a decent job, let alone a career. She has never been self sufficient. She wants to be a housewife and mother to both her husband and children. She wants an authoritarian father figure to look up to. He will guide and train her. The only difference is, the guy also wants her to be a sex kitten, his own personal whore. Yeah, like that's realistic.

There's nothing wrong with a man OR a woman wanting that. But what isn't fine is calling any girl a whore who had boyfriends in high school and/or college, and who decided on the guy she wanted to settle down with for the rest of her life by having boyfriends. It's bullshit to call any girl who isn't a virgin is promiscuous.

Some guys have the idea that women and men are different in that regard. Men can have sexual relationships, but a "good girl" is supposed to be sweet, innocent, "pure", prim and proper. She's not supposed to live life. She is supposed to wait for a husband. They make no distinction between a sweet girl with healthy values, self-respect, and normal hopes and dreams who had relationships and a girl who fucked every guy she met.

Also, those guys love quoting one flawed study by some family values organization that says women who have had sex prior to marriage are less capable of bonding with their partner and more likely to get divorces. They quote that as if it's the Bible. Of course, no such claim is made about men.

Not one of my long-term girlfriends were virgins when we met. They were wonderful girls. They were also monogamous and loyal. They all eventually got married and raised families.

It was I who didn't want to get married. I wasn't interested in kids, either.
I didn't start thinking about finding a life-partner and settling down until I was in my early 30s. After a couple more long-term relationships that didn't work out, I met my future wife when I was 40. She was 37.

We had both lived full and fulfilling lives before we met. We both had careers. She had more than one. We had both traveled. Neither of us had ever been married or had kids, but we certainly had sex before.

By the way, I never asked a girl about her "body count" and none ever asked mine. I don't even want to know about their past relationships or exploits. Everyone is entitled to learn about life and gain knowledge through experience.

My wife and I have been happily married now for almost 28 years, had LOTS of fun, and built a wonderful life together. She could be a more loyal and trusted partner.

[BetaBucks]

Men having preferences isn't any more misogynistic than women having preferences is misandristic. People like what they like, and there are people that like every possible category of people. Some categories are more popular than others.

And if anything, it's misandry that makes me grossed out by promiscuous women, because I'm disgusted about the guys pumping her with their cum. If a girl told me she'd had 100 girlfriends, but never banged a guy, I wouldn't be grossed out at her at all. I would love it. I'd obviously still be concerned that she couldn't maintain a relationship, so probably wouldn't want to risk an LTR.

[bobalife]

very hypocritical indeed. I agreed with your prompt, but most men will generally judge a girl who appeared "covered" up as wifey material while someone who seemed more "revealing" as the hoe girl with negative connotation. In the real world, it's just materials and surface-level judgment, it does not always dictate who a person really is and their morals. Some people are gonna judge and be as narrow minded as they want. Enough men already have so many criticism and pointing fingers about what a woman should say, dress, look, and etc. We aren't a doll and it gets tiring living under this umbrella they tried to create. I know not all are like this, but it is common indeed. Though I understand and it is okay people have preferences, but it isn't okay to put box in someone and put them down. Nonetheless, at the end of the day, it is just about finding someone who wanna understand you as a whole and see your blessing as you are than just holding onto pre-judgments. vice versa.

[Apple1996]

Yes because deep down the men saying they want a good girl are only saying that because they want a woman to wife to be his caretaker but then don't have sexual feelings for her and end up being porn addicts, lusting over random women, using prostitutes. They truly desire a hoe girl but know they can't use and abuse her the same way as a good girl. It's absolutely sickening

[LoveHotGrillz]

Misogynist means prejudiced against women. Your entire premise is wrong. We men didn't collectively get together and hold a meeting devising a plan to create a concept of "Whore vs Good Grill" to what? Laugh at you when you dress nicely? or dress slutty? Wtf are even saying?

All we know is that if you are a hot blonde girl coming onto us, we will love it regardless of what you are wearing. Although we prefer all women to dress like whores because it's easier and hotter to check you out in public when you girls are near naked. Yumm!

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I'd say what you describe is way more destructive than misogyny, it is essentialism as it features worldviews where individuals have their uniqueness denied. Good news though, people having these views are more often than not exposing their philosophy in plain sight, so you can filter them out easily

[Berethor]

It make sense that a whore would be deceitful but not a virgin, and it's true in most cases.

https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Madonna-Whore_Complex

[Asker]

Deceitfulness has nothing to do with your sexual activities or lack thereof and every thing to do with who you are as a person. That virgin can murder you in your sleep or while you’re wide awake but she’s a virgin so it’s okay, at least by your logic.

[Berethor]

I said in most cases, I'm more likely to get murdered by native girl or dirty woman?

https://allthetropes.org/wiki/The_Ingenue

[Asker]

You’re more likely to get murdered by a murderer, someone with murder on their mind. Whatever title you give them doesn’t matter

[Berethor]

A female who is immoral sexually-wise, likely immoral in general, I doubt ethical sluts.

[DishLady]

Nope.


Good girl has become part of a normalized “daddy” kink (like “good boy” has become part of a “mommy” kink). Those are more to do with Freudian complexes playing out in the bedroom than they are about misogyny. Look up Oedipal Complex and Electra Complex.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I don't follow your train of thoughts exactly because psychoanalysis does not invalidate the influence of culture, there is a number of subcultures featuring misogyny

[DishLady]

@Maybe_Maybe_not Freud himself was rather a misogynist. I wasn't invalidating that.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

@DishLady While he has been deemed misogynist by some, I don't think this assumption is valid, Freud (and Freudian) views are subject to misrepresentation since a long time already. But these debates are more often than not on a shallow level, as psychoanalysis is not exactly user-friendly to understand, I would even say very complex to apprehend. Plus these debates tend to be ideologically biased by an agenda instead of actually studying the topic.

[DishLady]

That’s your opinion. Thanks for sharing.

[AnonAndrew]

Of course it's misogynistic.

And you're right. "Hoes" tend to be much more enjoyable to be around (not just in bed), and make for better partners than "good" girls.

I don't want a "modest and covered woman," give me a "hoe" any day!

[Staximus]

Sorry, you're wrong. People (women or men) who just give themselves away to anybody don't value themselves. They are much more likely to cheat on somebody because sex is meaningless to them, or because they seek acceptance and validation through sex. The guy and girl I know who were the most promiscuous before marriage are the most promiscuous after marriage. It's not rocket science.

[Nikki1989]

It is misogynistic and very hypocritical.

[Asker]

And most women fall for it every time. Talking down on other woman and believing they’re better than the other woman while the man is gonna like and go after who he wants regardless. They put that crap in minds/ear to see if we’ll fall for it and we do and they continue their games.

[Asker]

And as I get older everything is so much deeper than surface level. The woman or man with great aura /energy, a good spirit and an all around good person will win every time. It doesn’t matter if they have one body, or 12 bodies. It’s all about who you are on the inside. Of course looks matter too, but rather you’re a good girl or a hoe doesn’t matter at all.

[Anonymous]

It is about how easily a woman can get sex compared to men. We value people who achieve difficult things more than people who achieve easy things. Also, men who sleep with anything that moves are also whores. A woman who sleeps around is easy, so there is no value for a man to sleep with easy women who sleep around.

[thearchjoker]

Its not its basic preferences. Just like how women prefer rich guys so do men prefer women who don't have high body counts and aren't promiscuous to other men.

[Serkee]

It's about as mysoginistic as the whole "good guy vs fuckboy" concept is misandric.

[Ladsin2]

No you're not the only one, but all the people who think that are retarded. Men aren't women, and women aren't men.

[OddBeMe]

No that’s a clear scientific concept not biased by sexism or generational norms.

Jk, completely is.

[Anonymous]

Most men don't want to marry the town bicycle.

[Opinion Owner]

If I'm not okay with my future daughter growing up be exactly like her mother, we have no future together. That's how I have always looked at it.

[Asker]

Why would you have a child with a woman you think is a hoe considering a hoe to you is one of the worst things for a woman to be? You’re proving my point. Y’all will say all this about wanting the virgin or modest woman and still go after the “hoe” and the excuse is “Yea, for sex I want the hoe but not for marriage.” Which only tells me you marry the modest woman for the image and not for who she actually is or could be.

[Asker]

A bunch of bs like I saidz

[Asker]

All you care about is “At least she hasn’t been with a bunch of men or any at all. I’m her first.” And you truly believe the hoe or being a hoe is the problem and not you?

[Opinion Owner]

I wouldn't gave a child with the hoe. That is the opposite of what I said.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not interested in committing to a woman that wouldn't be a good role model to our daughter if we ended up having one.

[Opinion Owner]

There are women who are fun, and there are women who are potential marriage material. Be whatever woman you want to be, but most men will not take the latter seriously to even consider being in a committed relationship with. Call it misogynistic, but that is the reality.

[Opinion Owner]

And by the way, I don't want to be anyone's first. I would prefer she HAVE some experience prior to being with me. I don't consider a hoe just because she has had a life before me.

[Opinion Owner]

Let's say she's 26 and proudly brags about sleeping with 22 men. That, to me, is a hoe. I'm 26 and I've only ever slept with 3 women.