Why would a man judge me by the pics I post?

[Anonymous]

Especially if he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship… I don’t understand why it matters to him… ? He didn’t even try to tell me his real name

[DannyUk2017]

Because the Picture/s are Sexual in Nature, so if "he liked you" now "that train is long gone", and the one that came next is with different opinions such as "despise, disgust, trashy, slutty, etc"... so in his eyes You Lost Validation!

[Asker]

But he already knew about them

[DannyUk2017]

Then he was Playing the "denial game"... i want you, but i don't want you... he's being Childish...🤦‍♂️

[Asker]

That’s what I was confused on unless he just wanted to insult me … what he said stung

He said “does your dad know you post those pics” …. I don't know if that’s insulting or I don't know

[DannyUk2017]

Ok, that means he was "waiting for a confirmation" to take the "topic further"... for example : if you father knows you posting these? If you would said Yes... He would be like: So you in to older men, etc, etc... So yeah, that means he was Playing Mind Games... to "see" what You Up To?

[Asker]

He’s 10 years older but I don’t think that’s it…. And it’s not my father’s business

[DannyUk2017]

As i said, he plays mind games, wants to get in your pants, so he tries to play the "harsh cards" to see at wich one you'll "give way"...🤷‍♂️🤦‍♂️

[Asker]

Yeah… then he said he was scared to sleep with me because I’ll be “crazier “

[DannyUk2017]

That confirms what i have thought all along! To get in your panties, and he wanted to make sure you're open to it..
🤷‍♂️

[Asker]

He wasn’t like that in the beginning tho… that really hurt

[DannyUk2017]

Well sadly we all are like that..."super nice in the begining, then when one person cannot get what he/she wants they become "hostile"...🤷‍♂️

[Asker]

There’s a larger story… as to why this hurts so bad

[DannyUk2017]

I bet there is... is same like a knife that has 2 sides, it goes same with the stories too.

[Asker]

but I told him all that… DAY ONE ! I said I’m protecting my emotional and mental wellbeing at all cost … I said I just don’t want to be hurt or used… he knew all that. He asked me what was the safest way to talk to me..

I understand what you’re saying completely tho… I set myself up… I had my guard up and he was patient and considerate. Never pushed me and even said “I don’t know what all you’ve been through but you shouldn’t punish everyone for someone else’s sin.. he also told me that I should take some time to myself before dating.

I post half naked pics/ suggestive pics bc I feel safer that way.. Iust is better

But he did change in the date and I was hurt… it’s like the words he used…

He tried to say something about the pics and asked if my pastor of a father knew about them. Or asking me when I was last intimate and joked about me using dildos.. then said I’m scared to sleep with you because you’ll be crazier…he was trying to intentionally ruin it… I was so hurt.. after making me safe in the beginning..

[DannyUk2017]

Exactly, so he "played you" for his only gain, and he was getting a "hard on" imagining you a priest daughter, doing the "opposite"... that's why he thought he could have some "leverage against you" so he could have its way with you... and you're right... Lust is better, but also can be a very "dangerous/defaming" someone...

[Asker]

He didn’t know I was until I told him on the date.

[Asker]

I had feelings for him… I thought he genuinely liked me

He ghosted me after and the only reason he responded and actually called me is because I said it was weighing on my mental health

[DannyUk2017]

Good morning, Yeah just steer clear from jim, cut your losses and move on, you don`t need gamers in your life...

[Asker]

What are you saying? 🥺

[Asker]

I’m in the United States sorry

[DannyUk2017]

i meant steer clear from Him not Jim, lol... just woken up, on my wy to work soon, didn`t had my coffee yet.. :))

[DannyUk2017]

I`m in the UK...

[Asker]

No I’m asking you why basically…

[DannyUk2017]

because is causing you trouble... unless you`re happy with the trouble... as it seems you cannot detach yourself from it/him...

[Asker]

I really don’t understand why after 8 months I still feel highly emotional….

So you still think he played me?

[Asker]

And good morning ☀️

[DannyUk2017]

You still feel highly emotional because he "planted the emotional seed" well deep in your mind..
That's why i was saying about he is playing mind/denial games... i'm sure he still wants to fuck your brains out, so he's just playing you until you'll break.

[DannyUk2017]

And thank you, yes is 06:40 am... Good whatever is on your side too.. morning, afternoon, evening...🙃

[Asker]

I never want to date again…. .. I was upset by how he ended things… I still had feelings.. comes to find out he’s downlow and it really upset me… Ik he’s downlow/bi because he follows a explicit trans woman on twitter.. and there’s a possibility he could/ wants to sleep with her bc she’s in the same city…

I sent him a text about how I really felt even mentioning that he’s closeted.. no reply..

I hate him for everything he is and isn’t. I hate that I allowed myself to catch feelings

I can’t believe he would do that to me… I told him to find another woman who wants the same thing… he can “pull” high caliber women

[DannyUk2017]

Exactly what i said... he tried to mess with your head, and when you didn't "give in" so easily then he start becoming offensive, playing his "mind games/cards" towards you... i don't blame you though, that's why for more than 2 years i'm single... because i felt dishearted too... but is no point talking about it... I understand you perfectly.. And about that he's bi, then i would take him off my mind completly, let him suck a dick then... you know there is a saying..."it is what it is", you just be You, and go with the flow, and deal with whatever comes your way... i know the feeling of betrayal... i really feel you... i know that in these moments we need "that shoulder to cry on", we need that friend to "let it all out"... we just need..."that", but sometimes life is such a bitch, that won't give us any of it, and forces us to "deal with these situations" by ourselfs...🌹🌹🌹

[Asker]

Do you think he’s bi or closeted? Even if he’s still pursuing high caliber women?

Also.. if he wasn’t ready for a relationship then why did he make that comment about my pics?

I did ask him if he wanted to be friends with benefits as a way to see if he just wanted sex… he replied “why me?”….

Also we talked for 2 weeks and I told him I wasn’t into sex… he would wait that long…

He said he didn’t want the placeholder thing… I’m sooo confused…

[DannyUk2017]

Ok... too many questions now... You are "stretching your luck" with this.. she/bi sad fucker... just Let it go! You are causing Harm to Yourself, so forget about him and Move On! Jezzz... sounds like You are Obsessed With Him! You want sex, he wants sex, you "throw him the bone" he "takes the bait"... just do it already as this sounds like Big Obsession now...

[Asker]

I’m a virgin… and yes I did want to sleep with him… but he said he was scared to sleep with me because he was scared I’d be crazier…

I’m not obsessed but I told him I was protecting my emotional and mental wellbeing and I just felt like what he did was wrong and it’s hard to get over bc despite me having my wall up… I felt he was trying… I’m just torn up

[DannyUk2017]

I can see that your mind is all about him even after 8 months... and i've lost you when you wrote that you're a virgin... now it starts to make sense... the pictures that you posted didn't made sense for him, like he wasn't expecting " a virgin" to post such pictures, so that's why he was "thinking" that who knows what else is in your mind...

[Asker]

He didn’t know I was a virgin

[Asker]

But I still thought that he thought of me as more than my pics.

He did mention that he didn’t like how things started in the beginning

[DannyUk2017]

Just Stop! You hurting more than Unecessary... You attached to him too much! Find someone else... seems like "his game" on to you worked well.

[Asker]

Yeah lol it changed me even more… but I’m going to start my onlyfans and get me a little work done to feel good about myself

Like I said lust is better just don’t get your feelings involved

[DannyUk2017]

So it will be "another victim" to only fans".. are you ready to get Exposed in there? Are you ready to show your whole body on there? As "requests" could be damaging in time... just think this through...

[Asker]

Yes I’m ready. I like the validation and money isn’t involved… who doesn’t like that?

He and most men don’t consider me to be “good enough “ anyway and that’s cool. I’m going to do whatever to make myself feel good

[DannyUk2017]

If you say So.. i can't/won't Stop you, You are Free to do whatever you want/like... if you feel that... THAT is what brings you Validation, then so be it! But down the line might "backfire on you"... and saying that you're a virgin, on this OF, you would be "required" to do things that you might not be able to, as inserting toys, etc, as a virgin would be impossible, unkess you'll break your own hymen for that, because if people "pay to see you", and you won't offer the "service" they could ban you for that... But if you'll get the OF's page, i would like to "subscribe"...😅😂😂... Just joking...

[Asker]

Sure I’ll send a link when I get it up

[DannyUk2017]

Hahahaha... Nah sweetie... I'm good... i was just teasing you... relax...🥰

[Asker]

Okay lol

[DannyUk2017]

😅😂😂😂😂

[Summeroflove]

Depends on what photos they are. If they’re overly suggestive I don’t blame him. Maybe not even judge you as a person but choose you’re not rihjt for him.

[Asker]

Yes… my pics are suggestive but he knew about them already…he said “does your dad know about your pics?”… then had the audacity to ask me when I was last intimate

[Summeroflove]

Ehhhhhh……. Maybe you attract weird dudes for a reason. Yeah he’s weird but maybe there’s a reaosn you’re attracting them

[rosemilk]

because it's probably the easiest thing he can do while he sits behind a screen

[Anonymous]

Some people get off on trying to bring others down.

[AviatorTom]

Isn't there an old saying? ...

A picture is worth a thousand words.

Pictures do tell us some things about the people in them.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Lack of context, please elaborate?

[Asker]

Long story short. I had went on a date previously with a guy and he knew that I posted some suggestive pictures online. He never said anything about it initially but on the date I made a comment that my dad was an assistant pastor.

Down the line ( not directly after I mentioned my dad) he asked me “does your dad know you post those pics “…, I was so shocked I didn’t say anything fr lol

But I was just curious… what did he mean by that

I was in shock

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Pretty clear to me, from his standpoint, you totally sent an homing missile right on his moral views 😅 Which threw him off, his views are quite strong on religion, he maybe doesn't even realize?

[Asker]

My question is why does any of it matter if he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

It does matter because psychology matters, his reaction is not pragmatical as you'd like to see it, the nature of his reaction is emotional and connected to morality: When you associate sexuality and religion, it can easily make people's psychology go BOOM ! It's a common problem LOL

[Asker]

…. It shouldn’t concern him…

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I get your point, but you're thinking it in rational terms, for all I can tell, human beings aren't exactly big on rationality lol, they pretend, they think they are rational, but it's a lie told to themselves and the world :D

[ChicoFromThe305]

People judge by what they see, it's something humans do.

[Asker]

Yeah, but a man you’re on a date with who knew about them

[ChicoFromThe305]

He can still judge, judging is easier than not judging

[Asker]

Yeah but I still don’t understand the point of it why should he care

[tzdc21]

Well every guy is gonna judge you on your pics that you post. Just gonna be honest with you.

[Asker]

But why say it on a date vs not in the beginning

[tzdc21]

I'm assuming you guys talked before going on a date. I don't know if he saw the full extent of the pics before the date or not. My guess is he was only wanting sex and nothing serious which is why he waited for the date. Not what I would've done but that seems to be how he functions

[tzdc21]

Or maybe you did or said something on the date that irked him. I don't know

[Asker]

We talked for 2 weeks…. Okay… the day we talked… BEFORE we exchanged numbers I told him that I wasn’t looking. I told him that I didn’t want sex or a relationship and that I didn’t mind being a placeholder until he moved on…

He said he was struggling to understand that and he said that he didn’t want the whole placeholder thing and thought I would still be open to something serious. I said no and he said he would end up liking me for nothing…

I gave in bc I didn’t want to stop talking to him… so I said I was willing to take things slow.

So for those two weeks it was up and down… he seemed to pull away after I told him I wanted to take it slow and he the text were getting slower by hours and then days….

He admitted before the date that he felt I was unstable… and I also confronted him on him pulling away but he said he’s confused as to what I want

In the date he did ask me what I wanted and I told him to go first … that’s when he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship… that’s when I said the same thing and he got FRUSTRATED bc he felt I was copying him

So tbh I don't know what the fuck was going on with all this

[tzdc21]

There seems to be clear miscommunication on both sides because both of you are confused by what the other is doing. You're confused that he cares about your pictures when he said he didn't want a relationship, and he's confused because you said you didn't want sex or a serious relationship, but you didn't mind being a placeholder, and then suddenly you agree to taking things slow. It's all a bit confusing for me too. If it was me, I would either have a VERY long talk with this guy to get things straight between you two so that there is no misunderstanding, or just have the two of you simply walk away and end this situation. Because there is a clear disconnect here.

[Asker]

I liked him… he asked me what I wanted and I told him to go first… he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship so when it was my turn to go I basically said the same thing and he kind of didn’t like that… and he said I was just copying him….

But he ghosted me so…it hurt

[tzdc21]

Yeah, I get it, but it's time to move on. Easier said than done, I know, but ya gotta do it.

[Asker]

I just want to know if he even liked me or if he felt he could do better

[tzdc21]

If he ghosted you then why do you care what he thinks of you? Hate to break it to you but clearly he doesn't care about you. The ghosting is a sign that you need to move on and forget. Don't trouble your thoughts on this guy any longer, because I guarantee he's not doing the same thing for you right now. You'll be much better off if you simply forget about him.

[ProbablyClueless]

The fact he's not dating you doesn't mean he's not going to have opinions.

[Asker]

I understand but it’s pointless and judgmental

[ProbablyClueless]

I'm not a fan either. People are real jerks

[Anonymous]

Why do you keep asking this question? This is like the 3rd time I’ve seen this.

[Asker]

Soooo whattttt

[Opinion Owner]

So stop asking.‘people have you answers already. You’re just looking for responses that align w what you think is going on.

[Asker]

Not true at all. I like different options

[Opinion Owner]

lol ok keep telling yourself that. You like him but he doesn’t like you so you’re hoping someone will say yes it means he likes you.

[Asker]

Please he’s a sexual predator

[Opinion Owner]

lol ok, if that’s true than there’s something wrong w you. You saying he didn’t even tell you his real name. Wondering why he’s judging you on pics you’ve posted when you shouldn’t even been concerned about someone like this if he is a sexual predator. You have issues.

[Asker]

It’s the emotion I invested in before this occurred

[Opinion Owner]

Yes ok so again something is wrong w you if you’re still emotionally invested in someone you say is a sexual predator. Get some help. Professional. Not GaG

[Asker]

Pay for it

[Opinion Owner]

You. You’re an adult.

[noohair]

If all there is are pictures, how else should he judge you?

[Asker]

No judge by saying does your dad know you post those pictures

[Anonymous]

Everyone judges everyone by the pics they post.

[Asker]

I’m half naked

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, I know your type. Not interested.

[thearchjoker]

If you post something you will be judged

[Asker]

Yeah but why would you judge a pic of a girl you’re on a date with

[thearchjoker]

ofcorse.

[Asker]

Why?

[thearchjoker]

are you serious or are you trolling?

[Asker]

If he doesn’t want a relationship and he’s seen my half naked pics before we talked… him saying “does your dad know you post those pics?” Is judging for no reason. He should have said something before

[thearchjoker]

thats not no reason, if you take photos yourself half naked and post it online you've just lowered tour value as a woman by a ton. There's a reason the majority men won't date girls with only fans, and that's because a woman who exposes herself online is not a worthwhile woman to have.

[Asker]

OKAY COOL

BUT HE KNEW ABOUT MY PICS. HE made me feel like I was “more” and seemed like he wanted something more.

He should have never said anything tbh he’s a low value man for even wanting to take me out

[Chthou95]

You can't be this out of touch

[Asker]

Explain why I am

[Chthou95]

If you're posting pics, he'll judge

[Inthelines]

Morality and religion are important

[EnjoytheDay777]

Sounds like a jerk. Insecure.