How to initiate a meetup with a guy I THINK I’m just FB with?

[Anonymous]

I went out with a guy who I’m pretty sure was just looking for casual sex. We slept together and then he went out of town for 2 weeks. besides him checking that I got home safely I didn’t hear from him during that time. When he got back he pretended he was going to be in my town (we’re an hour apart, but I could tell by his dating app location that he came in just to meet up with me) and suggested we get dinner. So we went out for dinner and drinks and slept together again. He said he’d get in touch with me to get together again. That was a week ago, we haven’t talked since.

obviously we’re not dating. I think he’s most likely just interested in sex, or (much less likely) really not in a rush for anything and just seeing where things go. I’d like to reach out to make plans again but I’m unsure what to say. If I ask If he wants to get together sometime soon, is he going to think I’m interested in dating? I don’t want to text him something sexual since he’s actually been really respectful and hasn’t talked about sex despite us sleeping together. Ugh I know I’m overthinking this lol it’s just hard because we haven’t discussed anything.

[spartan55]

'we haven't discussed anything'
Meanwhile you are writing an entire narrative in your head based on... things in your head. I don't get how you younger people just can't talk to each other anymore.
You stalked his dating app location? And then made some wild assumption based on your crack surveillance... ugh... grow up already. It's painful to watch all of these potential relationships end before they get started because one or both can't communicate.

[Asker]

Well I looked at his location to try to figure out where he was so I could Make a dinner reso somewhere near for him (he didn’t reply when I asked). And I’m fine with communicating but I figured it would be easier to have this convo once we meet up again. So what do you think I should Say?

[spartan55]

You made a comment that he had to be in town just to go out with you (you said he 'acted' like he was in town, just your guess, not facts)
You did this several times and I hope you recognize what you are doing there.
Anyway, what do YOU want from this dude?

[Asker]

I really don’t know. From the two times we went out I liked him, but without talking in between I really don’t know him all that well. I’d be okay seeing him casually or seeing where it goes if he was interested in more. But if I don’t hear from him or see him relatively soon or else I’ll assume he’s def not interested. That’s why I figured I’d reach out, I’m just not sure what to say.

[spartan55]

Ask him on a date... hello? You are making this much harder than it has to be.

'don't know him all that well'...'fucked him twice'... 🤦

[Asker]

We did go out twice! Dinner and drinks each time. But then radio silence in between, so I figured he’s probably not into more. So now I am trying to arrange a third “date,” I’m just not sure what to say. Last time he said he was going to be in my neck of the woods, so I said we should get together and he suggested dinner. Do I just say something very vague like I’d like to get together sometime soon again?

[spartan55]

Invite him over to your place.

[Anonymous]

friends with benefits is just being a prostitute without getting paid.

[Taniisokay]

You will sound desperate. ANYWAY do you.

[Asker]

Do I what?

[Taniisokay]

Initiating a meet up with that person

[spartan55]

@asker
As a guy this is bad advice. He isn't thinking about her looking desperate, at all. This is woman driven falsehood.

[Asker]

@spartan55 I figured if I reached out it would take the pressure off him!

[spartan55]

@asker That was a good decision.

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

You will never know until you ask. ;)

[In_Trance]

Ask him

[Asker]

Well I think I can figure that out once we go out again. Now I am just trying to determine how to make plans with him. I’ve had two fb and since it was clear what we were we would just joke around and text explicit stuff when we wanted to meet up.

[scott04sa22]

Ask him

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆