Is he just projecting his own sexual identity onto me by saying that?

[Anonymous]

I told a guy that I wasn’t looking for anything serious or casual… no sex or fwb…. and I didn’t mind being a placeholder until he found some else… he said he was struggling to understand that and asked “are you lesbian“… i felt that was an odd thing to say.. why did he have to use lesbian?

Updates

1 y

He didn’t ask for sex… he said sex wasn’t the only thing he wanted.

[Finchie40]

Sadly most people don’t know what the word No means , they just assume they are always right and never wrong. Clearly his intentions was to fuck your brains out , but since you told him No sex basically , he just assumed you didn’t like guys’ at all , so since he doesn’t know what the word No means. He just assumed you were a lesbian for not wanting sex at all with him. Most guys’ and girls’ automatically assume the opposite sex wants them , just because they talked to them and were being friendly with them they assume the other person wants them. I can’t tell ya how many times I have witnessed guys’ and girls’ talking to the opposite sex and automatically assuming they want them. Yo , she said Hi to me , she wants my cock. Or He came over and talked to me , I think he has the hots for me , it happens a lot. So most people in general , just assume things , they probably grew up with a silver spoon in their hand and were barely ever told No by their parents’ they act like they are never wrong they just assume they are always right. So basically he didn’t hear a word you said after you told him No

[CuriousHubby]

This guy is a moron! He probably is trying to get you into some sex so he was suggesting you just don't like him cause you like someone else which is a girl.

Run this guy is trash only wanting sex! Not a friend or date! His horny mind can't understand why your turning him down or sex down.

Really sound pretty easy to turn down

[Asker]

He said sex wasn’t the only he wanted. He said he didn’t want the whole placeholder thing and that he would end up liking me for nothing

[CuriousHubby]

Then accept that! Don't be there for someone who won't want you for you! Keep your heart for someone who loves all of you inside and out. Don't make yourself worthless place holder!

Be a mans whole world ! Your smart pretty and sweet.

[Asker]

In the end we went on a date it didn’t work out… he did 180 and said some insulting things.. like “does your dad know you post those pics “ “ when were last intimate “ … I was so confused

[CuriousHubby]

Well sorry but yeah he is a jerk you deserve someone sweet.

[_Maya_]

Because he used it almost as an insult since you made it clear that you wouldn't have sex with him is my guess. He threw that term out there. In his tiny mind he figures you mean you don't want sex with men and not just him because how in the world would someone be able to resist him? I hope you read into the sarcasm there. You say that you are not looking for anything serious or casual. So what exactly are you looking for because it seems to me that the answer to that would be nothing at all. You don't want serious and the not even casual. What else is there might I ask? Why get involved with the guy at all when you clearly don't want any sort of relationship?

[Asker]

No it’s not that he asked I just let him know beforehand to let him know what I wanted and he can find someone with similar values

He wants sex but he said that’s not the only thing he wanted…. He actually didn’t want the placeholder thing and said he would end up liking me for nothing… and we were going to stop talking

[Asker]

I talk to a lot of guys with no type of strings attached so I thought it was normal

[_Maya_]

What does no strings attached mean to you personally? Like friends? If so then that is normal.

[Asker]

Right friendship with sexual undertones… I’m not ready for a relationship

[_Maya_]

Okay then I'm a bit confused when you say "no sex or friends with benefits". So why sexual undertones, whatever that is?

[Asker]

Like sexting , sex talk

[Anonymous]

You said you don't want to have sex WITH HIM. He took that to mean you don't want to have sex WITH MEN. That lead him to conclude you may be a lesbian.

Also, just FYI, when a guy is looking for a "placeholder" until he finds someone else, that placeholder is someone he's having sex with. Generally a guy doesn't need a celibate placeholder as he's probably totally capable of not having sex on his own.

[Asker]

I mean he said he didn’t want that and he was going to stop talking to me so..

[MasterKS]

He though you have no interest in men!