Is it crossing the line if the man your seeing buys you the same perfume as what another woman he knows wears?

[Anonymous]

The guy I'm seeing is my manager, we've been dating for 3 months but I've known him over 2 years. He's 15 years older then me too so its already a very controversial relationship in the office.

It's not nice having people gossiping about us and calling him unprofessional and saying I'm just with him to get a head.

There's one girl let's call her "A". A is very young, bubbly and gets on well with everyone besides the guy I'm dating.

They used to be very close friends and she claims one day he just flipped on her not long after he found out she was newly engaged.

This was all way before me and him started seeing each other. She made a sexual harassment claim towards him saying he'd tell her to smile and that she looked more pretty when she smiled. I personally think that's just typical of her generation looking to find offence in a compliment.

She also said he invited her out on dates, said she smelt nice and held her hand once whilst she was crying at work. All these things sound very innocent to me and as if he was just trying to be kind to this girl but she's saying after she shrugged off these actions he started treating her badly.

The investigation into him was dropped because of no evidence and he's since tried to make friends with A again which I'm very proud of him for.

There's just one thing he's always saying how nice she smells which is creepy ill admit. He asked her what perfume she wears and she told him it was Born in rome by Valentino.

So my first birthday with him comes along and he's gotten me that perfume as a gift. When he explained we're he got the gift idea from I just thought "wtf" and got instantly mad with him. I refused to put it on and now we've had a massive fight. He doesn't seem to think it's creepy or strange at all.

[Oliverlogan263]

Omg girl, that perfume gift is MAJOR weird and creepy coming from him. 🚩🚩 Huge red flag. A few issues here:

- Still talking about how another girl smells is inappropriate period. ick.

- Buying YOU the same perfume as her after asking her specifically is just... no. So disrespectful.

- Given their history and her complaints about him, feels like he's trying to somehow "mark his territory" or still keep tabs on her through you. Barf.

Honestly his dismissiveness about how inappropriate and strange it is is concerning too. Makes me wonder what else he's normalized in his head.

I know you've invested time in this relationship already, but personally I would end things. The office drama/gossip is one thing, but this crossed a line. You deserve so much better than some creep who's still hung up on other women.

Please protect your peace, sis! At minimum he needs to properly apologize and recognize how troubling his behavior has been if there's any hope to rebuild trust. But truly, is it worth the hassle? You got this!

[LiamJHayden]

Umm, no. It might be that he thinks the scent would work well on you.