Why is he acting distant lol of a sudden?

[Anonymous]

He used to flirt with me a lot we used to sext and everything and then we finally hooked up and he doesn’t give me attention anymore it tried to get him to hook up with me again and he’s always making an excuse not to and when I try to be flirty with him he doesn’t flirt back, I mean he still hits me up but it feels platonic now and I don’t like it I want us to be flirtatious as we were…. Why did he change on me? Also we don’t speak as much as we used to… I don’t get it he said I kiss good and everything… I don’t get why he changed toward me all of a sudden no body could have said anything about me cause no one knows about us at all… we are super DL but anyways I don’t like how things changed between us

Updates

1 y

Correction: Why is he acting distant all of a sudden? ***

Updates

1 y

I wrote to him and he said this:

Good Morning

Sorry for being distant and stuff. But I really felt like what happened that day shouldn’t had happened. You’re a very nice person and nothing personal. But my mindset right now isn’t to do anything with anybody. My mind really is on making $$ and providing everything for my son. My friendship will 100% be available for you

[Anonymous]

Erm… I feel like in our age range you should know this, but he used you for sex, girl. You were a conquest, he did the work to hook up and now he’s over it. Then you’re practically throwing yourself at him trying to make things how they used to be or have sexual again, that’s over with now. Sorry if that makes you feel bad and you probably thought he wouldn’t do this since you work together but he’s still a man, he doesn’t have emotions or care like you do. He can look you dead in the face after sex the night before and act like it didn’t happen. Men can do that.

[Asker]

I know he used me for sex I did to but I want more and he doesn’t I don’t see why it’s free sex for him

[Asker]

Too*

[Opinion Owner]

Well, what were the expectations before hooking up? Did you guys establish that you both want to date and work towards a relationship? Or were you just going with the flow and hoping it would eventually amount to more?

[Opinion Owner]

I’m only asking because unless you were on the same page about eventually wanting more then dating or a relationship may have never been on the table with this guy. He can flirt, show outward interest, and none of it be anything more than casual fun for him.

[Asker]

I went with the flow, but I knew all he wanted was sex what I don’t understand is why he doesn’t want to have sex with me again I was hoping to have someone I can hook up with consistently cause I want to keep my body count low he’s the second guy I’ve ever slept with my whole life and the first in 5 years

[Opinion Owner]

Ohhh okay, you mean wanting more like more hookup, not relationship lol got it. Well in that case he still may not be on the same page as you when it comes to an ongoing sexual relationship unless you explicitly tell him as much. For all he knows you’re trying to advance things after hooking up when he’s not, so you may want to clarify that part with him. Also so you can see is what even interested in that. Just because he did it once doesn’t mean he wants to make a thing of it.

[Opinion Owner]

Per your update, my god girl I wish you never sent that. Talk about a scramble to clean up the situation — you don’t think it should’ve happened? Why would you say something like that when you know it’s not true? When we spoke 3 days ago you were practically throwing yourself at the man hoping for a casual hookup buddy, and now you’re backpedaling because he’s acting different and trying to match his energy. It’s like licking your open wounds. Even if none of what I’m saying is what you intended to relay, I’m just explaining how it looks. What you should’ve done was talk to him about how you think he’s been distant and that you want casual sex, not anything serious because I genuinely think he’s doing what most men do: run for the hills if for any reason it seems like you’re wanting more than they’re offering. Maybe if you clarified things would be different, or is having that conversation too degrading?

[Anonymous]

At least he's not an ex that treats you like you barely existed in their life after 10 years of being friends.

[Decoded93]

Some guys do this thing where they just want to know they can have you and then they toss you aside, it’s an ego thing, it’s best to move on because it’s extremely disrespectful, he never saw you as anything more than a conquest :(

[glennos89]

He probably was trying to get laid that's all 🤷🏼‍♂️

Never give a guy sex to soon or you will end up in this type of situations

[Asker]

That’s all I want too but I want more of it… I didn’t want it to be a one time thing

[glennos89]

Maybe you should ask him why he doesn't want to have sex more often

[ItsaMeMaik]

Unfortunely i think he just wanted to have sex...☹️ Did you try to confront him about that? An honest and open Chat can work wonders sometimes.

[Asker]

I told him how I felt he never responded

[ItsaMeMaik]

Oh, im so sorry for you