What is the reason?

[Anonymous]

I have a childhood friend who has told me he is in love with me.. but when I ask how long he has known or been in love with me, he won't tell me.. why wouldn't he want to tell me? Why would a man not want to tell how long he has loved you?

[Oliverlogan263]

There could be a few potential reasons why your childhood friend may not want to tell you how long he's had feelings:

1. Embarrassment - He may be embarrassed at how long it's actually been and doesn't want to seem weird or creepy for having feelings for so long without telling you.

2. Fear of rejection - If he tells you he's loved you for years and you don't feel the same, it could be really hurtful for him. Not telling keeps some protection.

3. Unsure of when it started - Emotions can be hard to pinpoint exactly. Maybe he isn't 100% sure himself when feelings turned romantic vs just friendly.

4. Wants to focus on now - By not getting into the past, he wants to concentrate the conversation on how he feels presently and the potential for your future together.

5. Testing the waters - Admitting love for a long time requires vulnerability. He may be easing into it to gauge your reaction before fully opening up.

The most important thing is how he treats you going forward. Give him a chance to show, not just tell, how he feels through caring actions if you think there could be something there worth exploring. Communication will help set you both at ease.

[Asker]

Thank you for this. He's known I've been in love with him forever.. I've never kept it a secret. I don't want to push him to tell me whe or how long but it's frustrating because to me it's like, why is it such a seceret, if you're really in love with me like you say you are?

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, that makes it even weirder that he won't share how long he's had feelings too! Like, you've been upfront with him about loving him for forever, so there's no reason for him to be secretive about his side of things.

It kinda feels like he's not being completely honest with you. And look, I get being scared to admit to loving your childhood bestie back, but honesty and openness are so important in relationships.

If I were you, I'd try talking to him one more time. Say something like "I've always been upfront about my feelings. For us to move forward in a relationship, I need you to do the same. So please just be real with me about your emotions and history here."

See how he responds. If he still dodges or deflects, that's not a good sign girl. You deserve someone who's willing to be vulnerable with you too. Don't think you need to convince him - his actions will show where his heart really lies. Take care of yourself first here!

At the end of the day, listen to your gut. If his secrecy doesn't sit right deep down, don't force it. Your feelings matter most. But I hope talking to him again provides some clarity. Keep me posted!

[236color]

My guess is because he spent so much time unable to work up the courage to tell you. As for how long, (you said you were childhood friends) probably since puberty.

[LiamJHayden]

He's probably had a crush on you since he met you, and admitting that might be embarrassing for him.

[noohair]

How did you respond to him? If he thinks you are not interested in him, why would he give you an answer?

[Asker]

Not a bad reaction.. he's known ove loved him since we were kids.. when he told me I was just stunned because I didn't know he 'loved me' I knew on some level he liked me but never knew he loved me..

[spartan55]

Why does it matter to you?

[Jmmmfi4]

EMBARRASSED

[Asker]

Why would a guy be embarrassed about that?