How does a man decide which women are gonna be seen as walking holes versus which ones he would give the chance to get to know?

[Lightinfugoo]

I feel like my secret work crush boss chose me for the former and I don't know why. I think people just think because I’m really quiet or shy that I am

not worth befriending? He also stared at my covered chest recently like a hungry dog it was so surprising. I never thought he would ever be a creep like that but here we are. . Time reveals things i guess

[MrOracle]

First, it depends on the man. If he's a top 10% kind of man, then he's likely not looking to commit to any woman, and thus the only thing he's looking for from a woman is sex. If you are looking for a relationship, you need to first exclude all non-relationship men, which will almost always eliminate the top 10% of men right from the start, along with some others.

But assuming we've limited the pool of men to JUST "relationship men", how does a man decide who has "relationship potential" vs "for recreational use only"?

He's going to be looking for the following in the woman:

• Youth/fertility
• Innocence/inexperience/purity/low body count
• Femininity (this is more about attitude than appearance, though appearance does play a role).
• Friendly
• Family-focused (rather than career-focused)
• Cooperativeness
• Peace
• Physical fitness (read: don't be fat)
• No baggage (in particular, no kids from some other man)

The first two are going to be relative to the man's own age - a 60-year-old man is going to have a different idea of youth and innocence than a 25-year-old. But most of the things on this list are tied to her morals, values, life-goals, and attitude.

Things that are NOT factors and provide limited or zero value to most men - that women often (and incorrectly) assume brings her a lot of value - are:

• her education
• her degrees
• her career
• her income
• her social status

Women value these things in men because women reap rewards when men have these things, but it doesn't go the other way. Women do not provide for their spouse and families the way that men do (as a rule), so men normally get zero benefit from any of these things, and in many cases, these things come at a COST for the man, and are seen as a negative.

When a woman tries to tell a man she has value because she has her own car and house and career and income, this sounds just as tone deaf to a man as a man would by telling a woman he has value because he has a collection of Star Wars toys or sneakers or model trains - most women are going to value those things at zero, because his Star Wars toys or sneaker collection or model trains are of no benefit to her.

If there are *specific* things you can do to make a man's life easier - to better enable him to do the things he does - THOSE things are valuable to a man. Can you make a home so that he comes home to peace and relaxation? THAT is valuable to a man.

[MasterKS]

walking holes! LOL!